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So he tried to block out the pain (burning, agony) and focus on the happiness of the moment. Not on how he knew his brothers would turn up their noses when they found out he did this, but they wouldn’t understand his need for this. He didn’t fully understand his need for this, but he just knew that he wanted Ivan and needed him like he hoped the nation needed him.
So he could ignore the pain, because he knew Ivan wouldn’t hurt him intentionally and he felt a sort of euphoria when the Russian came and groaned,
“I love you,” before pulling out, leaving Eduard half-hard and bleeding.
And the Estonian barely cared about his half-aroused state because Ivan was smiling down at him, stroking back his blonde hair, and mussing up his bangs.
“You’ll always be my favorite,” Ivan whispered, smiling, and Eduard didn’t care (nor did it particularly cross his mind) that the statement wasn’t directed towards him, and he still felt the burning pain of being penetrated.
He grinned happily into his pillow, ignoring the blood that might shame him come morning time, which he would still have to clean from his sheets. In the moment, he was positively gleeful.
He was Ivan’s favorite.
--
I'm sorry, please don't hate me for the fuck-up of this beloved character of mine. This is horrible. ;-;
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Well---Well, Eduard wasn’t going to let that get to him. He would enjoy himself, because this was Ivan who was touching him, licking him, and pleasing him and he could pretend too. He could pretend Ivan loved him as much as he loved Ivan and he kept repeating that mantra in his head until he believed it.
So it didn’t bother him at all when Ivan slid down his pants and underwear, probably thinking he was Toris. No, he was the only one in the Russian’s violet eyes and the only one who deserved to be touched like this.
He groaned when a finger, lube-less, entered him partially from pain but--- he was going to finally become one with Ivan; he would be safe and loved.
He didn’t mind the pain so much, but another finger was added and another and Eduard bit his lip to the point of bleeding to keep from crying out. It was supposed to hurt a little in the beginning; he knew that, no problem, so he wouldn’t make a noise of complaint lest Ivan suddenly turn on him, because as much as Eduard liked to say he had everything figured out, the Russian was very unpredictable.
Ivan pulled his fingers out and smiled, pumping himself to full erectness.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he sighed happily and Eduard didn’t bother to think that the comment wasn’t meant for him. He felt too cherished, too happy.
“M-me too."
You may continue with part 3. "OTL
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Fantastic fill, anon. <3
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Thanks~
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