Past-Part Fills Post 1 -- CLOSED
Thanks to anon's suggestions we are now enforcing a past-part fills post
Fresh past-part fills post HERE
Comments and Suggestions go here
Don't forget to link your new fill at the fill index over here.
Remember though that you need not post your updates unless you posted in a new part
Keep yourself up to date -- check out the NEWS HERE
“You’ve been asking me and I’ve been tellin’ you that I don’t know!” Gilbert grumbled, throwing back another pint down the back of his throat.
Francis wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Mon Dieu! He said, ‘Well, good sir, if your affections are true I suggest you put your metal where your mouth is.’,” he replied, putting on the best English accent he could imitate.
Gilbert drew circles on the table with a finger. Some people were unbearable drunks, and unfortunately Francis was one of them. Experience had long taught him to simply humour the man and endure. “He wants you to go on a quest, huh?”
“It’s all the rage. Slaying dragons, defeating demons. I could write about it,” Francis slung his lute onto his lap, making Gilbert grimace. Drunk bards were out of tune bards. “I’ll give you a fair ditty about a knight and a dragon, mon ami,” Francis offered.
“No thanks.”
“Ah, it makes my heart weep to think that the language of love is lost on my little Angleterre!” he began strumming regardless. “He ruled in beauty o'er this heart of mine,
A noble lord in a humble home,
And now his time for heavenly bliss has come,
'Tis I am mortal proved, and he divine!”
Before Francis could begin the second verse, Gilbert grabbed the lute by its neck, wrenching it out of his hands. “Well, if he wants you to go on a quest of courtly love why don’t you…disappear for a month or two and come back claiming you’ve slain a dragon or something?” he suggested. Anything to stop the horrid singing.
“You mean lie?” Francis looked disapprovingly at his friend.
Gilbert shrugged. “You’re a poet, you must do it all the time.”
“He’ll want proof,” Francis shook his head. Had he remembered just who he was dealing with, Gilbert would have been a little less surprised that his friends was seriously considering tricking Arthur into bed. God knew what he saw in that foul-tempered Englishman anyway; he was always frowning and had quite a violent temper to boot.
Nevertheless, he could not consider himself a friend unless he did something to help Francis’ horrible, miscalculated love-life.
“I’m sure you can talk your way out of that. Here,” he said, rummaging in his bag for the prize of his latest hunt.
“What’s this?” Francis leered at the small animal carcass dragged out of the sack.
“Proof of your successful quest of courtly love!” Gilbert replied proudly.
Francis found the thing draped into his arms. “Mon ami, this is a rabbit.”
“A blood sucking, eeevil rabbit!” Gilbert cried, waving his arms about the air as if to illustrate the beast‘s ferociousness. “Incisors ten feet long and ten feet wide! Eats the brains of living men! Already have the skulls of the Earl of Sussex and the Baron of…err, Banmarkten…fallen to its deadly wiles!”
Francis stared at his friend, wondering if the poor man had finally lost his senses. “Mon ami…I am speechless.”
“Brilliant, isn’t it?” Gilbert grinned.
“I doubt that this will work,” he frowned at the scraggy, pathetic carcass, “…but it is better than nothing.”
XX
Francis threw the doors open as he marched into the hall. When he spotted his target sitting in the corner of the hall, he made a bee-line straight for him, happily slinging the bag with his prize off of his shoulders.
“Ah, Angleterre, how good it is to see you again!” Francis immediately began to strum his lute, singing in a grand, affected manner; “Ah, your eyes are purest emerald whose fame
Without compare could hold no blame
To be likened to that of a verdant fire
Which my love inflames and my songs inspire!”
Reply
Any annoyance Francis felt was artfully suppressed by a smile. Why did the tetchy Englishman have to be as deaf to the sounds of the finer things in life as he was tasteless? Waving around a pointy stick for the sake of love was so last century.
“Oh course, Angleterre, and I have braved dangers most foul, mon cher, in order to bring you the tales of my most trying quests for your love,” he cried with a strained smile.
“And your proof?”
This was the moment Francis had been waiting for. With a flourish, he withdrew the rabbit from the sack. “Viola!”
Arthur stared at the bunny hanging by its ears. “…This is a rabbit.”
“Non, non, non, mon cher! This is not an ordinary rabbit! Truly it is more fearsome than any dragon!”
“It looks like a rabbit to me.”
Francis feigned a look of hurt disbelief. “Ah, you wound me, mon cher!” he cried. “Come, let me tell you about how I met this rabbit - it was gnawing of the bones of many fallen knights!”
“Oh wait, wait, I think I’ve heard about that before!” Arthur called for a servant to bring hi a book from the library. The servant hastened away and returned quickly with a thick, leather-bound tome covered in dust.
“If I recall correctly, it was in one of the legends of King Arthur, but I thought that the killer rabbit had been vanquished,” he said, flipping through the yellowed parchment.
“Ah, that is where they are wrong, mon cher.” Francis had no idea what Arthur was talking about but, in his opinion, if Arthur believed him then why shatter that precious illusion. This was all for the worthy cause of getting laid after all. “For rabbits breed like…well, rabbits, Angleterre.”
“Ah, here it is!” Arthur ignored Francis’ suggestive wink and grabbed the book. “Killed one hundred men! Francis, you really killed this thing?!” he turned back with a look of disbelief and admirably veiled approval.
Francis could sense victory close by. If he actually succeeded he swore to buy Gilbert a few drinks. “It was love, mon cher. The power of my love gave me strength.”
“More like the power of your atrocious voice!” Arthur scoffed, although Francis caught the thin blush on his cheeks. He was crumbling! By God, he was crumbling! No one could withstand the great Francis for long!
He gallantly bowed before Arthur, taking his hand to plant a small, chaste kiss upon it. “Come now, Angleterre, will you be so discourteous as to deny me my reward?”
“Well, I suppose you do deserve some congratulations,” Arthur mumbled, withdrawing his hand with a slight blush.
“Some congratulations?!” Francis feigned a look of outrage. “Do you know how many endless days I spent trying to slay this foul beast, and all for your precious approval, mon cher?”
“Well what do you want?” Arthur huffed.
It took the best of Francis‘ efforts to suppress a triumphant smile. “Ah, mon cher, just a kiss from those divine lips would be worth all the gold in the kingdom!” he strummed his lute.
At first it seemed as if he would be denied. However, good manners and honour decreed that a reward should be conferred and therefore, Arthur relinquished. “Very well,” he bid Francis rise and placed a tentative kiss on the man’s forehead.
“And perhaps a night in your chamber!”
“What?!” Arthur jumped, glaring at the man for his audaciousness. However, France dangled the rabbit in front of his face, reminding him just what a ferocious beast it had been. Arthur sighed, turning away from Francis. “Oh, very well.”
And behind Arthur’s back Francis was punching the air in victory. Blood-sucking, evil rabbit? Who ever thought anyone would be stupid enough to fall for that?
XX
In Scotland, near the cave of Caerbannog, gnawing on the bones of fallen knights, its fur stained red with their blood, a small, white rabbit lifted its curious head and sniffed the air. Something in the wind was changing. Perhaps it was time to move south, to England.
Reply
This was great. Oh France, you will be in SO MUCH SHIT when that thing arrives in England.
Great fill, anon, I loved it. :D
Reply
I get the distinct feeling that somewhere Gilbert is laughing hystericly.
Reply
Reply
Ah, Francis doing anything for Arthur's love, including lying about killing a rabbit, how romantic...
Reply
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Don't worry Arthur, Francis will take care of it (and dragging Gilbert along too). ^_~
This was awesome!
Reply
Leave a comment