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Feb 26, 2011 13:32



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Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 4a of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 03:26:04 UTC
Original request and parts 1-3: http://hetalia-kink.livejournal.com/9482.html?thread=11864074#t11864074
Canada and US are actually twin SISTERS. France and UK just assumed they were boys; the two never bothered to correct them. USA because she's something of a tomboy and goes to great lengths to hide it, and Canada... Canada doesn't try to hide it, but no one's ever looked close enough to tell under all those baggy clothes.

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After what seemed like an eternity (in reality only ten minutes) of staring at her ceiling broodily, there was a knock at her bedroom door. Al faked deafness and ignored it. She was not in the mood to talk to her father again.

To Al’s surprise, the golden haired, Francis, glide into the room instead. He softly brushed Allie’s legs, indicating that Alfred should make room on the bed for him to sit. Al scooted her legs over towards the wall, though not without a sigh.

She studied her Papa’s expression and knew (due to the smile and mischievous glimmer in his blue eyes) that she was not going to like what Papa had to say. Francis took a deep breath and began, “Alfred, your father and I have talked about it and we both agree that it is time I discuss sex with you.”

“Not again!” Alfred moaned. “Why can’t you two ever come up with normal punishments?!?!?”

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Sitting in the Gilbert’s new jeep, listening to him talk about how hot Ms. Héderváry was, had not been her idea. But Feliciano had drug Ludwig away (something about needing to getting a new strainer for their home economics class). Mattie still needed to get home. And for some reason Gilbert offered a ride. It was better than walking, though not by much given Gilbert’s incessant babble.

“And were you there that day she was wearing that see through shirt? That was totally awesome! She didn’t even notice until I complemented her on her blue bra. Chicks like it when you complement them on their shit,” Gilbert boasted. Mattie struggled to suppress her urge to roll her eyes. “Dude!” Gilbert continued, slapping his hand against Matthew’s shoulder. “You should be taking notes on my awesomeness! I’m taking you under my wing!”

“Huh?” This was the first thing Matthew had said since she had gotten into the car. She glanced over at Gilbert to see the wide grin returned to his lips and the mad glint returned to his eye. Her stomach sunk. There was no way she was going to like this idea. Whatever it was.

Gilbert looked away from the road to give Matthew his full attention; an act that was underappreciated by his passenger who had little desire of dying young in a car crash. “I’m making you my new protégé! I mean, you don’t have an older brother to look out for you. So you need someone to teach you how to be awesome! Clearly Alfred’s not helping you out in the department.”

Mattie wasn’t sure what to make of this bluntness. She was saved from responding to Gilbert’s (kind?) offer by the singing of the Bare Naked Ladies coming from her cell phone. She smiled apologetically at Gilbert and reached into her pocket.

It was a text from Alfred: I hate u. UR paying 4 my therapy!!!

Gilbert leaned over to read the message too. His breath hit Mattie’s cheek. He was just too close. A blush crept up her cheek. A horn blared as the jeep swerved into oncoming traffic. Gilbert flipped the other driver off as he returned the jeep to his lane. “Damn female drivers. Think they own the whole road.”

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Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 03:29:01 UTC
Mattie shot Gilbert a glare. He quickly held up his hands in a don’t-shoot gesture (causing Matthew to frown at the lack of hands on the wheel). “Sorry, man! I didn’t know you’d care so much about me reading your message. I was just curious.”

“T-th-that’s not what-” Mattie sputtered before cutting herself off. There’s no way that getting into this with Gilbert would end well. “I-I’m sorry. I’m just worried about what Al meant.” She let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure I really want to go home.”

“Of course you don’t! You’re with Gilbert the Awesome! You totally wanna bask in my glory more, am I right? Or am I right? ”

Gilbert studied Mattie as she pressed her lips together. Mein Gott, he seriously looked like a girl when he did that! We were going to have to do something to fix that. Maybe a hair cut or wicked, manly scar. Yeah! We could do some fight clubbing… go at it all manly with some broken bottles… though it might be not awesome to mess up such a pretty face. Dammit! What the hell I am thinking! The vehicle swerved slightly as Gilbert quickly turned back to the road. This kid is totally getting scarred up wicked before I am done with him!

Mattie sighed. “T-thanks for the offer, but I really should head home. My dads are expecting me.”

Gilbert waved her off. “Don’t worry about it kid. We’ll just start the awesome lessons tomorrow. Do I turn here?”

Matthew nodded, but realized Gilbert wasn’t watching her any more. “Uh, yeah. And then my house is the -“

“Blue one with the white shutters and red roof?” Gilbert asked already seeing it.

“H-how did you know?”

“It’s the only one on the block flying the French and British flags.” He explained while pulling into the driveway. He quickly threw the car into park and turned to his blonde passenger. “Alright. See you 7:00 am sharp!”

“Wh-what?” she asked as she pulled her backpack into her lap.

“The Awesome Lessons!” Gilbert exclaimed with an eye-roll. “Keep up, kid! I’ll pick you up at 7 so we can get the first lesson in before school starts. Al can come too if he can get his ass out of bed in time.”

Slightly bewildered Mattie nodded her head. “Oh. O-okay.”

“And wear something awesome! First lesson is on appearance,” Gilbert explained. He gave an appraising look of Mattie, from head to toe. It made her fidget and reach for the car door. “Uh, you might want to borrow something from, Al.”

Matt’s eyes went wide with anger. But no matter how annoying or insulting Gilbert was being he had just given her a ride home. She couldn’t be completely rude… even if he was. “Y-yeah… what… whatever,” she grumbled, scrambling out of the car, slamming the door shut. There! That’ll show him. I didn’t say thank you…. Well… Maybe that was a little too mean…

She turned around to apologize, but Gilbert was already yelling out his car window as he was rolling down the drive. “7 am, Kirkland! Be ready to get Awesomized!”

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Writer!anon apologizes for long delay. There was much illness. :(

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 03:47:44 UTC
*hugs* Hopefully you're better soon...

Can't wait for the next part! Oh gawd, Awesomized Lessons? XDDDDDDDDDDDD

Anon has to agree, sex talks are definitely one of the worst punishment, ever. =_=;; Especially coming from someone like Francis. *cough*

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 04:57:20 UTC
Oh! Thank you! I get to go to the doc next week! :)
Sex talks are horrible... and they only get worse and worse the older you get. My mom still feels the need to give them to me... and umm... I'm kinda old. Maybe she just enjoys giving them cause she's part French! -_-*

~ writer!anon

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 05:08:04 UTC
*squish* Feel better soon!

Sex talks from Francis? Worst. Punishment. Ever. Mentally scarring.
Awesome lessons from Gilbert? ♥

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 08:13:32 UTC
No need for apologies. We're so glad to see you're doing well author!anon because it means more of epic fics! Can't wait for Mattie's reaction!

Is Gilbert/Matt on purpose? Because it's a secret OTP though Ludwig/Matt is too *shot*

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's My Sister! [part 4b of ?] anonymous August 4 2009, 18:05:42 UTC
Gilbert/Matt? Writer!anon has no idea what anon is talking about... yeah... no idea... ;)
Um.... American-writer!anon must plead the fifth...

Actually... I have not decided yet who Mattie and Allie will date... but for now it is *very* confusing for their hormonal adolescent male friends to be around them... cause you know they'd make really hot girls! XD
Though Gilbert/Matt does have a certain awesome appeal

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Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5a of ?] anonymous August 6 2009, 04:53:33 UTC
Mattie was a little shocked to say the least. One minute she was walking up the house steps. The next, she was yanked into the house and forced into a hard, wooden chair at the head of the table. Seeing her own bra sitting on the kitchen table was the last thing on earth that should have happened. Ever.

A blush seeped onto her cheeks. She knew it was hers. Allie never wore regular bras; it was always two sports bras with sports tape for extra, extra compression. But Mattie never saw the point. For one, they were already B-cups even though they were only 14. Eventually it was going to be very obvious that they were somewhat un-male. For another, she didn’t find sports bras in the least bit comfortable. It made a lot more sense to her to wear a soft, silky bra (it was her one chance to actually feel like a real girl) and just cover it up with a baggy hoodie.

She glanced up at her parents who were sitting to her right and left. Arthur’s arms were laying crossed over his chest. Francis’s folded hands perched gently on top of the table. Papa’s face was calm, but hardly tranquil. He smiled softly, but it did not meet his eyes. Mattie immediately recognized the typical symptoms of post argument fallout. What had happened before she got home? It undoubtedly had something to do with the new, lacy, white centerpiece.

Mattie dared a glance up at Al, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, sulking. She was not pleased with Mattie. Her clear blue eyes were sending death beams.

Matthew glanced down at the bra again, not able to maintain eye contact with anyone at the table. She had to think of something to say. They must have already talked to Al about it. How could I have been so incredibly stupid? Only have two regular bras! How could I lose track of them! I am wearing half of my collection! Tears started to fill her eyes as realized just how mad her parents must be, what this must look like!

“Well, who does it belong to?” Arthur grumbled out of the silence. The roughness of his voice was enough to send scared little trembles throughout Mattie’s body. He was sensing the opportunity to crack at least one of his boys into talking. He did feel slightly guilty that it did always turn out to be Matthew.

“I…. i-i-its… th-that is… I mean to s-say… it’s m-mine,” Mattie mumbled, barely above a whisper.

Arthur stared at Matthew. His brain quickly tried to process what his son had mumbled. Then it clicked. It all made sense!

His eyes narrowed as his head snapped into the direction of his spouse. Arthur jumped to his feet so quickly his chair fell to the ground behind him. “This is entirely your fault!” he yelled while waving an accusatory finger in Francis’s face.

Francis, being the calmer man in the relationship, merely sat there, folded hands still placed on the table in front of him. The only response he gave was a slight upward quirk of a blond, pencil thin eyebrow.

“I told you,” Arthur continued, “we shouldn’t let them spend so much time with that little Polish ditz! That we should at least talk to them about how not-normal cross-dressing is if we were going to continue to allow them to be friends! Good God, Francis! Like they don’t get enough crap at school for having you as a mother.” His volume rose with each word. Matthew and Alfred sighed in unison. This was looking like it would be a long and very loud argument. “Don’t you start in you two!”

“Don’t you dare yell at them, Arthur! You’re the one who is behaving like an idiot.” He paused to turn to Matthew, to give him his full attention. “I, for one, fully support any desires Matthew has to explore his feminine side!” He slowly returned his gaze to his husband before adding in a low voice, “This is what good fathers do!”

“Ha! Good father? Please. I am certain he gets it from your side of the family! No one on my side ever cross dresses,” Arthur drooled, as gave a steady glare across the table.

Francis gave a condescending smirk. “Are you forgetting your elder brother? The one who wore a skirt to his own wedding!”

“Belt up, Francis! It was a traditional Scottish kilt!”

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Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5b of ?] anonymous August 6 2009, 05:28:17 UTC
Francis’s cold smile grew wider, seeing his lover’s rage. “And let us not forget, mari, who gets off on it in our relationship!”

“TMI!” Al yelled covering her ears. “Oh! God! I think they’re bleeding!”

Mattie ignored this, as best she could. She was focused on not crying, though her eyes continued to fill with tears. She couldn’t stand to see her fathers fighting, especially not when it was all her fault. Shakily she stood from her seat, trying to attract her fathers’ attentions.

This did get Alfred’s attention. She could tell what Mattie was thinking. Removing her hands from her head, which appeared to be safe from any bleeding, she tried to signal for her to not do it! They had made each other a promise that they would never tell! Sure they had been five at the time. But a promise is a promise!

Tears began forming at roll down Mattie’s cheeks. Seeing her sweet sister upset always tugged at Al’s heartstrings. She softened. She began with a sigh. “It’s ok… Maddie. I’ll tell ‘em…” She forced a smile to her face, as both of their father’s turned their attention to her.

“Maddie?” Francis asked with on raised eyebrow.

Maddie sniffeled. “I-I don’t wanna be un-adopted!”

Francis turned his crying child. “Matthew, my sweetheart, why would you ever think that? No matter what trouble you get into, we still love you!”

“B-b-but… w-we lied!”

Alfred got up from her seat to be next to her sister. She leaned next to her, gently touched her forehead to that of her sister’s. “Shh…” She placed a proactive arm around the still weeping Mattie. “No, matter what happens. I’ll protect you. Remember?”

Mattie gave a slight nodded as tears continued in rivets down her face.

Arthur’s expression softened. He hadn’t meant for all of this to become so dramatic. He had just wanted to know where the bleeding bra came from. “Come now. I might be angry if one of you has been having girls in this house without our permission. But I - we - we would hardly disown you for that. We love you far too, much for that. You’re our sons. You will always be.”

The twins shook their heads in unison as Allie muttered the word, “Daughters…”

“WHAT?!?”

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5b of ?] anonymous August 6 2009, 05:51:10 UTC
Poor Al and Maddie. That is *not* something you want to find out about your parents. Ever.

And we're finally at the reveal...I can't wait to see how it goes from here :D

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5b of ?] anonymous August 6 2009, 06:16:08 UTC
Oh dear goodness anon just tears up at Maddie crying, with the parents again at each other's neck. Well mostly Arthur at Francis' neck. Oh why oh why do I find their banters hilarious? I blame the mention of the Scottish kilt. =_=;;

Allie, Maddie!!! ;A; Now to see how the parents will take it. I guess Francis will be thrilled...

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5b of ?] anonymous August 6 2009, 08:36:43 UTC
Oh poor Arthur. He's going to be ten times more insufferable when he finds out that his "sons" can get knocked up and that all those horny young men with their unworthy eyes are plotting to take his little girls' innocence. He won't stand for it! ~_^

I'm sure Francis will be lovely. Shocked to hell, but lovely.

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 5b of ?] anonymous August 10 2009, 03:15:00 UTC
Aww! Don't cry, Maddie!

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Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 6a of ?] anonymous August 14 2009, 04:46:31 UTC
“We haven’t been having girls in your house,” Al started to explain while staring at the wooden table in front of her.

“Without your permission, she means,” Maddie added softly.

Al snorted softly. “Yeah. Except… for us.” Her gaze continued to be fixed on the table where she had enjoyed countless family means. She wondered how many more they would have here, before they were thrown out. Papa could at least be counted on for one meal for the road before they kick her and Mattie out of the house. Maybe they could have hamburgers.

Not being able to stand the few second of silence that followed, Maddie added, “We’re girls.”

“I do not understand,” Francis muttered starring at his two ‘sons’ trying to envision them having turned into girls without drawing his attention.

“ Nous sommes des filles.” Maddie repeated in French, trying to help.

This drew a chuckle from Francis. “Merci. But that does not make the situation any… clearer.”

“Agreed,” Arthur said with a nod. His voice was calm, not filled with the anger that Allie had expected. This almost made her more afraid. “How is that possible?” Arthur continued. “Surely we would have noticed… when we pot- No…” He was going to say ‘potty trained’. But that wasn’t right. They had adopted the boys when they were already 5. “When we gave you baths… No.” The boys had been painfully shy when they were first placed with Arthur and Francis. On the rare occasion when the twins had allowed their new parents to bathe them, Al had always insisted that they wear swim trunks. Matthew had always nodded in agreement, desperately clinging to his white stuffed bear. He had just assumed that this was normal behavior for boys their age when around new adults.

“Hmm… All this time. You have been girls all this time.” Francis made the words form statements, though they easily could have been questions, as his brain began to adjust to the new schema.

It seemed to be at this moment when thoughts began to click into place in Arthur’s head as well. His fuzzy eyebrows shot straight up to his forehead as his green eyes became as wide as grapefruit. “Oh my god! Have you started menstruating?” Even Al began to blush at this question. “Francis! We need to talk to them about sex before they start having babies before our very eyes!”

“NO! NO! Please! You’ve already punished me with that once today!” Al shrieked, in a very heroic manner.

“It’s not punishment…” Francis said, reassuringly as he placed hands on Alfred’s and Matthew’s shoulders. “Well perhaps it is when your father does it.”

“I think I know more about sex then I could ever want to know,” Matthew muttered softly.

“No! No! You need the talk again! You’re girls this time!”

An eyebrow raised on Alfred’s forehead. “Uh… we really were girls the first 1350 times… you just didn’t know.”

“Well now that we know that it changes things! You need to be educated about what disgusting vial little perverts teen-aged boys are! Oh! Oh for the love of the queen! One of them drove you home today, didn’t they Matthe- Mattie? Did he try to touch you? Are you pregnant?!?! Dear God, please don’t let my little girl be pregnant. Frog! Go get my shotgun!”

Francis stood and began rubbing his forehead. At least Arthur was taking it well, considering… “Arthur, please, remember your blood pressure. I am sure Mattie is fine. He - she’s been one of the best fighters on the hockey team for years now. I am sure she can fend off any unwanted advances.”

“T-thanks, Papa.”

“So, you’re not kicking us out?” Al asked. She wasn't sure if she should even be bringing up the possibility (it would be awful if they hadn't thought of the idea on their own, but loved it when she mentioned it), but it was eating her inside not knowing.

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Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 6b of ?] anonymous August 14 2009, 04:47:22 UTC

“No, of course not! Though we do need an explanation.”

“And I for one would like to know what your real names are. They can’t bloody well be Alfred and Matthew.”

“I’m Madison,” the meeker twin said while nervously playing with her fingers.

“And I’m Allison. Though, we always went by Maddie and Allie or Al… even back then…” Alfred, or rather Allison, began to explain to her parents how after their biological parents had died they were placed with a different couple. One of the men, who had been their foster fathers, was very nice, talkative and cheerful. The other scared the hell out them and was always staring, saying nothing. It made Maddie burst in to tears just remembering the incident.

I apologize for any and all errors and unclearness... (especially the minor dips into poorly translated French) I probably shouldn't be posting this yet since I wrote most of it while I was in the hospital, but I don't think I'm going to have the time over the next two weeks. 'Til next time! <3

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Re: Hey, Mister! That's my sister! [part 6b of ?] anonymous August 14 2009, 11:18:56 UTC
Oh this made me giggle!

LOL Arthur really WOULD freak out like that and automatically think about babies.

Why do I have a feeling that Francis will get a kick out of dressing his "new" daughters in "proper" female attire? And Arthur freaking out more and vetoing all of Francis' suggestions as "too skimpy, frog!"

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