(no subject)
so i've come to the point in my life where i sit at home and wonder if my little sister is having fun while shes out with friends. its becoming seldom that i hear about a party friends are having before she does, and i certainly dont see friends as often as she does. when i say the word friends i really mean my friends. the people i've known essencially since elementary school.
when tracey came home today she informed me that somone is having a party this weekend and that i can go, if i want. gee. thanks.
when tracey writes in her livejournal she writes about all the fun things she does with jackie and stuart and daniel luna.
i hate to be dramatic about this, but doesnt it seem as though things are getting a little out of hand. i'm not even there when she hangs out with my friends any more. but i guess we should not say anything, because she doesnt have any friends, so lets just give her robynnes. good idea.
how about we set the situation up just a little better.
spencer walks into the room where you're sitting and says "hey stuart, i'm going to a party at jackie's house this weekend, do you want to go?"
nathan strolls in and informs you that breakfast will be at 6 45 tomorrow morning, and dont worry, he already told everyone. you dont even need to talk to them.
luna, what if your little sister walked in and said "hey, i'm gonna go out with the heymans girls while you're at work, we're gonna go get milkshakes or go to target"
chris comes home late one day, and tells you, cait, about how stuart chased an icecream truck down the street, oh, but the funny part is that it was coming from the other side. ha ha ha..
i guess i'm hanging out with tracey's friends too. sam and nick that is. uh oh, is robynne being hypocritical?! its different and you fucking know it.
hey tracey. jean's having a party this weekend. i guess you could go. hey tracey, donnie and i are going out while you do your homeowkr. we're gonna have lotsof fun.
i'm not mad at anyone. just sad that i havent been that good of a friend i guess, cause if i was, you'd be asking to play with me, and telling me things. i guess i'm also upset that i'm not having as much fun, and that i have noone to talk to about going to work for the first time. i think i just think tracey is more fun than me, which obviously she is.
im tired. i'm tired of crying and whining. i'm tired of being left behind. i'm tired of mistaking love for attention, and attention for love. i'm tired of being told what i'm going to do, i'm tired of spraying lysol cans and getting headaches, of being bored of being alive. i'm tired of being left behind. i'm tired of loosing people i care about, i'm really tired of caring about other people more than they do me, and not getting what i want and being quiet about it. i'm tired of watching somone take whats mine, and i'im really tired of watching someone being handed whats mine. its mine and its been taken, and not even just the surface of it, but all of it, deep into the close personal crevaces, the best parts, the secret parts, the hard to reach parts all taken away from me. no, being given away. fine if thats what you want take it, take it all and let me start over. but i cant start over, because i'm the only one that seems to care that everything is being taken from me. why do i have to work, wait, pay, care when they dont. they just play all day and noone cares, everyone encourages. i dont want you to tell me that you love me, because i know you do. i dont really even want you to tell me that you like me, even though sometimes i think you'd like to pick someone else. i just want everything back. they can come and visit, but they cant steal everything. even breakfast is gone. i'm tired, so, so tired of being left behind.
i just asked my mom if i could have movie night at my house tomorrow night. she asked wasnt i spending the night at jackies? why arent you having it there?
thank you guys. thank you for letting me find out things from my mother. am i really all that unaccessable? i'm not THAT hard to reach am i?
so heres a question for you. how would you feel if someone stole your life away? took your friends, your experiences, your words and started calling them their own.
i dont even fucking care if i'm being dramatic. or just plain silly because i'm really really hurt. really hurt and i'm pretty much done with it. so just shut the fuck up and pretend you give a damn.
and DONT tell me you love me.
p.s. it would be cool if stuart would put some pictures up.
when tracey came home today she informed me that somone is having a party this weekend and that i can go, if i want. gee. thanks.
when tracey writes in her livejournal she writes about all the fun things she does with jackie and stuart and daniel luna.
i hate to be dramatic about this, but doesnt it seem as though things are getting a little out of hand. i'm not even there when she hangs out with my friends any more. but i guess we should not say anything, because she doesnt have any friends, so lets just give her robynnes. good idea.
how about we set the situation up just a little better.
spencer walks into the room where you're sitting and says "hey stuart, i'm going to a party at jackie's house this weekend, do you want to go?"
nathan strolls in and informs you that breakfast will be at 6 45 tomorrow morning, and dont worry, he already told everyone. you dont even need to talk to them.
luna, what if your little sister walked in and said "hey, i'm gonna go out with the heymans girls while you're at work, we're gonna go get milkshakes or go to target"
chris comes home late one day, and tells you, cait, about how stuart chased an icecream truck down the street, oh, but the funny part is that it was coming from the other side. ha ha ha..
i guess i'm hanging out with tracey's friends too. sam and nick that is. uh oh, is robynne being hypocritical?! its different and you fucking know it.
hey tracey. jean's having a party this weekend. i guess you could go. hey tracey, donnie and i are going out while you do your homeowkr. we're gonna have lotsof fun.
i'm not mad at anyone. just sad that i havent been that good of a friend i guess, cause if i was, you'd be asking to play with me, and telling me things. i guess i'm also upset that i'm not having as much fun, and that i have noone to talk to about going to work for the first time. i think i just think tracey is more fun than me, which obviously she is.
im tired. i'm tired of crying and whining. i'm tired of being left behind. i'm tired of mistaking love for attention, and attention for love. i'm tired of being told what i'm going to do, i'm tired of spraying lysol cans and getting headaches, of being bored of being alive. i'm tired of being left behind. i'm tired of loosing people i care about, i'm really tired of caring about other people more than they do me, and not getting what i want and being quiet about it. i'm tired of watching somone take whats mine, and i'im really tired of watching someone being handed whats mine. its mine and its been taken, and not even just the surface of it, but all of it, deep into the close personal crevaces, the best parts, the secret parts, the hard to reach parts all taken away from me. no, being given away. fine if thats what you want take it, take it all and let me start over. but i cant start over, because i'm the only one that seems to care that everything is being taken from me. why do i have to work, wait, pay, care when they dont. they just play all day and noone cares, everyone encourages. i dont want you to tell me that you love me, because i know you do. i dont really even want you to tell me that you like me, even though sometimes i think you'd like to pick someone else. i just want everything back. they can come and visit, but they cant steal everything. even breakfast is gone. i'm tired, so, so tired of being left behind.
i just asked my mom if i could have movie night at my house tomorrow night. she asked wasnt i spending the night at jackies? why arent you having it there?
thank you guys. thank you for letting me find out things from my mother. am i really all that unaccessable? i'm not THAT hard to reach am i?
so heres a question for you. how would you feel if someone stole your life away? took your friends, your experiences, your words and started calling them their own.
i dont even fucking care if i'm being dramatic. or just plain silly because i'm really really hurt. really hurt and i'm pretty much done with it. so just shut the fuck up and pretend you give a damn.
and DONT tell me you love me.
p.s. it would be cool if stuart would put some pictures up.