to day was a funny day.
its funny how much time i was convinced i would have, and yet, its 10 30 on a sunday night and its the first time i've been close to making an entry. school has not been as stimulating as i had hoped, and my movie maker isnt cooperating with me. i'm finding out that i'm not as independant as my fifth grade teacher would like to argue. its not that i cant take care of myself, more that i yearn for a companionship, mostly a romantic involvement, so much that when i dont have one i feel as though noone would ever want me. this is ridiculous to think i know, (Right?) but it just happends to be the way i feel. i guess i just really enjoy haveing someone to lean on when i feel unhappy. the funny thing about this is, the people i date are usually the ones making me feel unhappy and are not the best to run to for comfort. i've never dated someone i could talk to about anything and everything to the point where they really gave a damn about what i'm saying. i think i just really want someone to care about, and that will appriciate that i care about them. i'm pretty much describing another one of me. haha. anyway, so theres that.
in other news i start work tomorrow and i have a feeling my days are going to get really long because i will also be working very diligently on my acc home work which requires a supposed 10-15 hours of reading, notetaking and video watching. but the class (Environmental science) seems really interesting.
basically what that paragraph said was... i've sold my soul to the man, and the pay sux:).
today i went to see garden state and an exhibit. i'm not really in the mood to write about them. well, i am, but i'm not going to. basically both were amazing and zak brath is a brilliant writer. the movie was so well done and i bawled at the end it was so moving. except he would have had withdrawals... maybe that was the headaches. anyway. the exhibit was free and very nice. they even have a picasso and a very old and rare bible... one of the first off the printing press. there was some work by a poet called frank o'hara. here is a web site with links to his poems. they're lovely. i esp. like "in memory of my feelings" look at it if you dig poetry, this stuffs good. http://www.frankohara.com/Pages/PoetryOnline.html
also, this is what a lithograph is http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oi=defmore&q=define:Lithograph
for jackie and stuart :)
today there were some ripples in the pond of the heymans family. haha. tha twas such a great metaphor. anyway. and basically my mother is lonely and doesnt like how i'm out all the time. see tracey's livejournal for the emotional part of the story. anyway, something else happened tonight involving mothers, and really, i think they just feel like they're not giving us enough. which si why they bring up that the relationship is based on them giving us rides and money and permission. wel, this other mother deal kinda made me and my mother talk and it ended up being better because i think we worked some stuff out and i hope the other stuff works out too. its no good what happend, but i think there just needs to be more compromise and communication. i hope the situation isnt worse than what i saw tonight, taht would make me really sad.
anyway. thank you for reading this far if you have. i promise one day i'll get a cell phone and car and stop feeling bad for always using yours. and you can use my shit all the time and i'll drive you around. thats all for tonight, sorry it was suchapainintheasslong. you liked it.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxooxdefwlkdmxocvmswoxoxoxo
in other news i start work tomorrow and i have a feeling my days are going to get really long because i will also be working very diligently on my acc home work which requires a supposed 10-15 hours of reading, notetaking and video watching. but the class (Environmental science) seems really interesting.
basically what that paragraph said was... i've sold my soul to the man, and the pay sux:).
today i went to see garden state and an exhibit. i'm not really in the mood to write about them. well, i am, but i'm not going to. basically both were amazing and zak brath is a brilliant writer. the movie was so well done and i bawled at the end it was so moving. except he would have had withdrawals... maybe that was the headaches. anyway. the exhibit was free and very nice. they even have a picasso and a very old and rare bible... one of the first off the printing press. there was some work by a poet called frank o'hara. here is a web site with links to his poems. they're lovely. i esp. like "in memory of my feelings" look at it if you dig poetry, this stuffs good. http://www.frankohara.com/Pages/PoetryOnline.html
also, this is what a lithograph is http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oi=defmore&q=define:Lithograph
for jackie and stuart :)
today there were some ripples in the pond of the heymans family. haha. tha twas such a great metaphor. anyway. and basically my mother is lonely and doesnt like how i'm out all the time. see tracey's livejournal for the emotional part of the story. anyway, something else happened tonight involving mothers, and really, i think they just feel like they're not giving us enough. which si why they bring up that the relationship is based on them giving us rides and money and permission. wel, this other mother deal kinda made me and my mother talk and it ended up being better because i think we worked some stuff out and i hope the other stuff works out too. its no good what happend, but i think there just needs to be more compromise and communication. i hope the situation isnt worse than what i saw tonight, taht would make me really sad.
anyway. thank you for reading this far if you have. i promise one day i'll get a cell phone and car and stop feeling bad for always using yours. and you can use my shit all the time and i'll drive you around. thats all for tonight, sorry it was suchapainintheasslong. you liked it.
xoxoxoxoxoxooxooxdefwlkdmxocvmswoxoxoxo