What the hell is wrong with me?
This weekend was a strange one indeed. As many of you know, I have taken on a weekend job as a wedding DJ for a local mobile DJ company. The servive I work for is unike most in its ilk in that we provide a floor show as we play such hits as "The Electric Slide" and other wedding faire. It is extrmemely cheesey, but it can also be a lot of fun. I am still in training so I mostly tag along, work some of the routines, and help set up/tear down the equipment. It's extra cash, and I am planning on keeping it as weekend work as I teach.
This weekend's gig was quite strange. The wedding party were all people from my old, old neighborhood. My tenure as their neighbor ended when I was four. This was almost twenty years ago to the day. I didn't keep in touch with them after the move almost an entire mile away. Kids don't do that. More than ten suburban blocks might as well be another state. I went to high school with them. We may or may not have caught up during those years. I honestly do not remember. High school was, as they say, high school.
When I realized who they were, I immediately wanted to fade into the wall, which is impossible in that line of work. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I was considering feigning illness.
Don't get me wrong, these were/are very nice people. In other circumstances, if I would have bumped into one, maybe two of them, I would have been completely open to catching up. This situation was just so fucking surreal. People I knew two decades ago and remember vaguely were getting married and I was one of thre DJs. Maybe my reaction was due to overexposure to postmodern writing. Maybe I just have issues with my past.
I tend to avoid people I knew way back when. There is no particular reason for this. It may stem from the fact that the Incompetant from six+ years ago is a completely different person from the Incompetant of late. I realize that we all for the most part completely different from who we were in high school, but when I find myself in one of these "suburban situations" as I like to call them, I feel the need to sever new self from old. It isn't that high school was all that horrible for me. Well, it was for the most part. It's more than that, though. And I just can't figure it out.
I was spotted by one wedding guest, and I waved at her. At this point, I realized that she would probably tell the other people who I was (I look completely different from way back when) and I am now obligated to say "Hi" on my way out. I honestly could not figure out an appropriate way to do this. Although we are "interactive entertainment", we really are not supposed to fraternize with guests. So this bullshit excuse fueled my bullshit reason NOT to make my presence known.
I'm not sure if I look like an asshole in all of this. I didn't purposely avoid anyone, I just didn't put myself out.
It's funny how I normally embrace the idea looking like an asshole in social situations. My apprehension with this situation must be that I may have looked like an asshole, when I was merely being a pussy. The worst kind. An emotional pussy. Not in the Bright-Eyes sense in that I am emotion AND a pussy, but that I am a pussy with dealing with my emotions.
This weekend's gig was quite strange. The wedding party were all people from my old, old neighborhood. My tenure as their neighbor ended when I was four. This was almost twenty years ago to the day. I didn't keep in touch with them after the move almost an entire mile away. Kids don't do that. More than ten suburban blocks might as well be another state. I went to high school with them. We may or may not have caught up during those years. I honestly do not remember. High school was, as they say, high school.
When I realized who they were, I immediately wanted to fade into the wall, which is impossible in that line of work. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I was considering feigning illness.
Don't get me wrong, these were/are very nice people. In other circumstances, if I would have bumped into one, maybe two of them, I would have been completely open to catching up. This situation was just so fucking surreal. People I knew two decades ago and remember vaguely were getting married and I was one of thre DJs. Maybe my reaction was due to overexposure to postmodern writing. Maybe I just have issues with my past.
I tend to avoid people I knew way back when. There is no particular reason for this. It may stem from the fact that the Incompetant from six+ years ago is a completely different person from the Incompetant of late. I realize that we all for the most part completely different from who we were in high school, but when I find myself in one of these "suburban situations" as I like to call them, I feel the need to sever new self from old. It isn't that high school was all that horrible for me. Well, it was for the most part. It's more than that, though. And I just can't figure it out.
I was spotted by one wedding guest, and I waved at her. At this point, I realized that she would probably tell the other people who I was (I look completely different from way back when) and I am now obligated to say "Hi" on my way out. I honestly could not figure out an appropriate way to do this. Although we are "interactive entertainment", we really are not supposed to fraternize with guests. So this bullshit excuse fueled my bullshit reason NOT to make my presence known.
I'm not sure if I look like an asshole in all of this. I didn't purposely avoid anyone, I just didn't put myself out.
It's funny how I normally embrace the idea looking like an asshole in social situations. My apprehension with this situation must be that I may have looked like an asshole, when I was merely being a pussy. The worst kind. An emotional pussy. Not in the Bright-Eyes sense in that I am emotion AND a pussy, but that I am a pussy with dealing with my emotions.