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So Taylor was over all weekend and today we went downtown...It was okay...there was a bit picking but not a whole lot. I want it to last forever...
Rich, in case you don't remember who he is, is my ex-stepdad. He has 6 months to live. He has lung cancer. He doesn't want Kurdt to know. He is the one who made me like this. He is the one who was my father for 12 years. He is the one who broke my trust. The thing is, is mom knew he was sick for years. He hates doctors though and never went to one in the time span of me living with him. She never told me...Why are things always a secret? Maybe it's for my "well-being" that I supposedly have. I think I'm starting to get the depressed piece of Dex and need to talk to someone for a bit...I just want to lock this away with everything else.
Me and my mom talked about him in the car on the way home tonight. I asked her lots of questions like why doesnt he want Kurdt to know and why can't he get chemo and such. I asked her how she felt about it and she said,"I still care about him and I still love him but I'm not going to take care of him again. Its still goin gto hurt just as much as it happening to anyone else I know would." Then she asked me how I felt about it. That was the first time in my life she's ever asked me how I felt. I held my tears back and told her I wouldn't know until it happened.
Maybe him passing is a good thing. No bad influences on Kurdt, no running Kurdt to him all the time, knowing that he can't ever hurt me again, and knowing that he is not suffering from the mental problems he has anymore. I want to call Taylor right now but would feel bad cuz scott's over and I've been with Taylor all weekend. I need some "chicken" right now...it would make me feel so much better I think...Or maybe I just need a cigarette and some sleep. Oh well I'll stop whining here.
Rich, in case you don't remember who he is, is my ex-stepdad. He has 6 months to live. He has lung cancer. He doesn't want Kurdt to know. He is the one who made me like this. He is the one who was my father for 12 years. He is the one who broke my trust. The thing is, is mom knew he was sick for years. He hates doctors though and never went to one in the time span of me living with him. She never told me...Why are things always a secret? Maybe it's for my "well-being" that I supposedly have. I think I'm starting to get the depressed piece of Dex and need to talk to someone for a bit...I just want to lock this away with everything else.
Me and my mom talked about him in the car on the way home tonight. I asked her lots of questions like why doesnt he want Kurdt to know and why can't he get chemo and such. I asked her how she felt about it and she said,"I still care about him and I still love him but I'm not going to take care of him again. Its still goin gto hurt just as much as it happening to anyone else I know would." Then she asked me how I felt about it. That was the first time in my life she's ever asked me how I felt. I held my tears back and told her I wouldn't know until it happened.
Maybe him passing is a good thing. No bad influences on Kurdt, no running Kurdt to him all the time, knowing that he can't ever hurt me again, and knowing that he is not suffering from the mental problems he has anymore. I want to call Taylor right now but would feel bad cuz scott's over and I've been with Taylor all weekend. I need some "chicken" right now...it would make me feel so much better I think...Or maybe I just need a cigarette and some sleep. Oh well I'll stop whining here.