Oh how i loath this...
hey you. Im in english writing my paper on Flowers For Algernon, it's almost done. But Im sick of freudian psychology and big words right now. I'm really tired. I feel right asleep after I talked to you last night. But then I woke up an hour later and was up until 3. Then My mom called me at 4:54 and was all lame and said "Come unlock the front door so I can come inside." So i've been up ever since.
I bet your "finished" tattoo is very hot. *Wink wink. Don't lie, im sure it hurt. And im sure it hurt worse than when I bit your lip tuesday night....next time, and believe me, hopefully you earn a next time, it will be nicer.
Speaking of tuesday night, I thought about it a lot. I know i already apologized, but it was half-assed so here it goes once again. I was upset for a few reasons, not all of them pertaining to you. One being that I was just in a pissy mood with my mother. Two being that I was somewhat, ok, well severely annoyed with Erin. Two being that when I saw you at josh's house, you seemed wierd towards me, thats why I said, "you made me feel bad last night." I thought you weren't going to show later that night, and when you did I was happy to see you, but I felt wierd because I thought I made you feel akward on monday night in your car. Reason four being that I just thought you wanted to be lame and not want to have anything to do with me because there are so many other much prettier and sexier girls in your life. However, I know I should't be so paranoid or put myself down. I may not be thin, but im absolutely goregous, when i want to be. i try not to be. After all, it's not like your my boyfriend and im your girlfriend or anything. which brings me to my next point. I felt a vibe, or at least thought I felt a vibe, that all you wanted out of me was somneone to fool around with, which is not what i am going to be, not at all. When you pulled me beind the alcove in the hallway, I wanted you to hold me, not try to shove your tounge down my throat. So then we get in the car and I hear you say "fool around" and I got upset. I liked when you held my hand the whole way home, even thought I was upset and didn't show it. Then we got to erins and starting moving things in and I started to warm up to you. I was thinking, "Oh wow ashley, you really like him, and it's quite possible he feels the same. All the secret hugs and forehead kisses made me feel like you actually were genuine in your intentions. It wasnt the attention that I wanted, it was you. So thats why I decided to finally go in for the kill, club you, and drag you back to my lair, haha. just kidding,. but that is when I decided to kiss you, and actually kiss you. And it was nice. Im glad you didn't get upset that Im not a great kisser or that I bit your lip.
Wow, long paragraph, but theres still more. After all, Im still in here for 50 minutes. About Joshua. Im sure that he senses something going on. It's not like we were "secretive" or anything. So what did you tell him? I don't want him to know anything, nothing against Josh, but im afraid he'll tell Erin. And you know what how she'll react to that. After all, shes the one who said you were after her, that you thought I was a lesbian, that you were after a bunbch of girls, etc. That bums me. I dont exaclty trust her.
Im not a bad influence. I mean, I wouldn't even drink the other night. I did a lot of bad things to MYSELF, and I regret that badly. I hurt myself and I allowed others to hurt me. But thats no more.
I'm not a lesbian. I just don't have a sexual preference. Im just attracted to people. especially you. And right now, only you. I know that in 4 days you turn twenty(i'd like to spend some time with you on that day too, but anyways) but dont let my age hold you back. You eithier want me of you dont. I know almost 4 years is a big difference now, but If I was twenty and you were twenty-four, it would be different. But Im not young and most likely not immature.
Oh man, i wish i knew what was going on in your head.
Oh man, I wish things would work out.
Well, you always say, we'll see where it goes.Im just waiting to see.. And you say you want to get to know me better, but what more do you want to know? just ask?
Like i said, I like the way my hand feels in yours, the way my arms feel around you, and your's around mine, and the way my lips feel against the stubble on your cheek. If that wsn't corny, I dont know what is...Not to sound clingy or anything. You're just the first person in a while who has made me feel comfortable.
20 more minutes....This is taking forever...
I really wanted to see you last night, I made you a "present."
Saturday, christmas shopping, I hope you're would like to and can come,l or saturday or sunday night.
Well, im going to go, my friend barabara wants me to go read something.
Talk to you later Mr. Rocha.....
I bet your "finished" tattoo is very hot. *Wink wink. Don't lie, im sure it hurt. And im sure it hurt worse than when I bit your lip tuesday night....next time, and believe me, hopefully you earn a next time, it will be nicer.
Speaking of tuesday night, I thought about it a lot. I know i already apologized, but it was half-assed so here it goes once again. I was upset for a few reasons, not all of them pertaining to you. One being that I was just in a pissy mood with my mother. Two being that I was somewhat, ok, well severely annoyed with Erin. Two being that when I saw you at josh's house, you seemed wierd towards me, thats why I said, "you made me feel bad last night." I thought you weren't going to show later that night, and when you did I was happy to see you, but I felt wierd because I thought I made you feel akward on monday night in your car. Reason four being that I just thought you wanted to be lame and not want to have anything to do with me because there are so many other much prettier and sexier girls in your life. However, I know I should't be so paranoid or put myself down. I may not be thin, but im absolutely goregous, when i want to be. i try not to be. After all, it's not like your my boyfriend and im your girlfriend or anything. which brings me to my next point. I felt a vibe, or at least thought I felt a vibe, that all you wanted out of me was somneone to fool around with, which is not what i am going to be, not at all. When you pulled me beind the alcove in the hallway, I wanted you to hold me, not try to shove your tounge down my throat. So then we get in the car and I hear you say "fool around" and I got upset. I liked when you held my hand the whole way home, even thought I was upset and didn't show it. Then we got to erins and starting moving things in and I started to warm up to you. I was thinking, "Oh wow ashley, you really like him, and it's quite possible he feels the same. All the secret hugs and forehead kisses made me feel like you actually were genuine in your intentions. It wasnt the attention that I wanted, it was you. So thats why I decided to finally go in for the kill, club you, and drag you back to my lair, haha. just kidding,. but that is when I decided to kiss you, and actually kiss you. And it was nice. Im glad you didn't get upset that Im not a great kisser or that I bit your lip.
Wow, long paragraph, but theres still more. After all, Im still in here for 50 minutes. About Joshua. Im sure that he senses something going on. It's not like we were "secretive" or anything. So what did you tell him? I don't want him to know anything, nothing against Josh, but im afraid he'll tell Erin. And you know what how she'll react to that. After all, shes the one who said you were after her, that you thought I was a lesbian, that you were after a bunbch of girls, etc. That bums me. I dont exaclty trust her.
Im not a bad influence. I mean, I wouldn't even drink the other night. I did a lot of bad things to MYSELF, and I regret that badly. I hurt myself and I allowed others to hurt me. But thats no more.
I'm not a lesbian. I just don't have a sexual preference. Im just attracted to people. especially you. And right now, only you. I know that in 4 days you turn twenty(i'd like to spend some time with you on that day too, but anyways) but dont let my age hold you back. You eithier want me of you dont. I know almost 4 years is a big difference now, but If I was twenty and you were twenty-four, it would be different. But Im not young and most likely not immature.
Oh man, i wish i knew what was going on in your head.
Oh man, I wish things would work out.
Well, you always say, we'll see where it goes.Im just waiting to see.. And you say you want to get to know me better, but what more do you want to know? just ask?
Like i said, I like the way my hand feels in yours, the way my arms feel around you, and your's around mine, and the way my lips feel against the stubble on your cheek. If that wsn't corny, I dont know what is...Not to sound clingy or anything. You're just the first person in a while who has made me feel comfortable.
20 more minutes....This is taking forever...
I really wanted to see you last night, I made you a "present."
Saturday, christmas shopping, I hope you're would like to and can come,l or saturday or sunday night.
Well, im going to go, my friend barabara wants me to go read something.
Talk to you later Mr. Rocha.....