Entry 1.0
.... Am I de only vun disturbed by de smiley for "bored"?
Vell, I haff had this journal for awhile now and I finally had a spare moment to use it. Ve haff been very busy since Megatron vas restored by de child's AllSpark key . Ve haff been setting up our new base of operations for about a month now. Megatron does not appreciate idleness so I haff been keeping myself occupied until effrything settled down.
Ah, before I forget, I'll note dot I'll refer to time in human units instead of Cybertronian. I do not expect many to know vot a "breem" or "vorn" is.
Although Megatron keeps us hard at work, I am grateful for two things: I no longer have to listen to Starscream, and Lugnut is now always busy vit' following Megatron around.
I haff noticed dot a common phenomenon in journals is to answer pointless lists of questions for de amusement of readers. I haff found such a list and I haff some time before my next reconnaissance assignment.
1. Are you some kind of robot?
Howeffer did you guess?
2. Point at something random. What is it?
-- HEY, dot's me!!!!! =D
3. Describe your hair.
Does not apply.
4. On a scale from 1 to awesome, how sexy are you?
Quite awesome. Heh.
5. Who would you like to hug the most right now?
I don't hug. Sorry gurls. ---Unless of course you vant a hug from de CRAZY VUN!!!! =D
6. What is your quest?
To DESTROY all de PATHETIC AUTOBOTS INTO PILES OF SCRAP METAL!!!!!!!
7. You encounter a forest troll. What do you do?
Encase it in ice und drop it in a children's playground.
8. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?
Any of my split mentality's names, I suppose.
9. Did you ever start eating even though you weren't really hungry, just so you could chew on something?
Random is known for chewing on furniture, but it's not really for satisfying hunger.
10. A super-fundamentalist Christian challenges your point of view. What do you do?
Step on it.
11. Fill in the blanks: I would love to _______ with _______ because ________.
Ooo! Oooo! I know! I vould luff to play kickball vit Bumblebee because he is zo small!!!!!! x3
12. Make your own question, then answer it!
Ah..... How many fans does Megatron have?
--- Only as many as Lugnut holds for him!!!! xD AHAHAHAHA
13. Repeat question 12.
How many---- vaaaaaaaaait.
14. Ferrets, ducks, or geckos?
Ooooo, I much like de talking gecko on TV! xD He talks funny!!!
15. Use the word "awesome" in a complete sentence.
Awesome backvards is "emosewa".
16. Scream something at the top of your lungs. Write what you said, and any reactions of your former friends who all think that you're creepy now.
"HAY ANYBODY LOSE A PELVIS??"
..... Yah. See, I actually do dot all de time.
17. Did you know that you can buy Staples brand staples? Do you think they're of decent quality?
I do not vorry about such things.
18. Fill in more blanks: _______ is my worst nightmare. I would rather _______.
Silence is my vorst nightmare. I vould rather listen to de chatter in mine head.
19. There is a bagel on the floor. Are you gonna eat it? Wanna split it?
Seeing as it is too small to supply me with any tangible amount of energy, you may haff it.
20. What color is Jim's red gun? Bonus points for a correct answer.
It is logical to conclude dot de gun is red, but do you know if it's red for SURE, or are you imagining it?
21. Did you ever seriously ask in your life, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
... Ah, no....
22. If you answered yes, did you ever get an honest answer?
Question does not apply.
23. If you answered yes... yeah, right.
If you say zo.
24. If you had super powers but were weak to one thing, what would be your "kryptonite?" Would you actively seek it out in a desperate bid to be normal?
Seeing as "normal" is not a vord usually associated vit' me, I vould instead choose to retain my so-called "super powers" and live as I vas intended to.
25. What kind of animal is Goofy? You can't seriously tell me that he's a dog. That's just... stupid.
I am not familiar vit' an animal called goofy. I imagine it is small and squishy.
26. Fill in the blanks: Canada is to America as ______ is to _______.
ah.... North is to south.
27. In three words, summarize "To Kill A Mockingbird." If you've never read it, give it a shot anyways.
Use a hammer!!!!!! =D
28. Can you whistle?
Only ven de vind blows through my armour de wrong vay. It is embarrassing.
29. What's your favorite Disney princess? Why?
I am inclined to dead vuns.
30. Whether you want to or not, you're starting a heavy metal band. What do you name it? (Bonus points for # of pretentious misspellings.)
De Stage Devastators.
31. What is the Internet made of?
Data terminals and primitive copper wire.
32. What is jazz like?
He is a challenge to face in battle but easy to bring down. He is not, howeffer, as pathetic as Sentinel Prime. Dot Autobot is a joke.
33. Make up an animal and describe it briefly.
Uuuuummmmmmm.... de TurboFrog. xD It's small und green und it goes fast.
34. Count the number of times that the letter "t" appears in this line.
Ten.
35. Would you tap a mountain to shock someone?
No, I vould THROW IT AT THEM. HAHAHA.
36. Have you ever been hypnotized? Describe the feeling briefly.
I cannot say I haff, although I vould luff to see anybody try.
37. What's the silliest thing you can think of right now? I'll probably make fun of it and come up with something better, FYI.
Lugnut in an apron. ...... I vant to remove my mind's optic now......
38. Fill in the blanks: _____ is good, but ______ is better!
One dead Autobot is goot, but ALL de Autobots dead is BETTER!
39. Would you like to repeat the last 38 questions? If yes, copy and paste them after this question.
.... I just spent a goot amount of time deleting those questions now after catching Random. Thanks a lot.
40. Do animals tend to like you or avoid you?
Those who do not avoid me get stepped on.
41. You're on a date. Your girlfriend/boyfriend is slightly emotionally unbalanced and paranoid, insisting that "the waiters are all staring at me." How do you respond?
”Dot's because you're not vearing your vine glass properly! Here, let me show y-- hay, vere are you going????"
42. What do you want for your birthday?
My two front tee--- HAY, I already haff mine! xD
43. What's your personal opinion on nurses? I just have to ask.
They can be pleasant, I suppose, ven you are not trying to mangle them.
44. Do you freak out when there's a bee nearby?
Only if it vas bigger than a convertible.
45. What's your favorite song?
Oh, you just HAD to start dis debate... okay okay. I haff three, and I vill pick from human music.
Icy-- "It's Not my Time" by 3 Doors Down
Hothead-- "Hell Yeah" by Rev Theory
Random- "Caramelldansen"
De three of us appreciate Disturbed's "Divide" und "In Amber Clad" from Halo. But all these things could change tomorrow....
46. HAVE YOU EVAR KISSED IN THE RAIN:
Negative.
47. You seriously didn't answer that, did you?
Isn’t that de point of this thing?
48. What is candy made out of?
Ground up fluffy bunnies and food coloring. But it all tastes zo goot!!! =D
49. You like jump rope, don'tcha?
Rope does not jump.
50. What TV show would you most like to be on? You should answer "The Price is Right", so you could play plinko. Duh.
"Whose Line is it, Anyway?" vould be fitting because half de time I don't know either.
51. LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANS!
Only if I can EAT THEM!!!! x3
52. You went to prison. Why?
Apparently haffing a mental breakdown and murdering best friends is against de law effen if they did set you up.
53. Magikarp looks FIERCE. T/F?
Ah.... yes?
54. Fill in the blanks: _________.
Dot is vun blank. You should learn how to count.
55. So, did you count 10 "t"s in question 34? If you didn't, you fail.
Of course I did.
56. What's your opinion on Hooters? (The restaurant.)
I cannot say.
57. Is Orlando Bloom a very pathetic guy or a really ugly girl? I can't tell.
Who?
58. What's your favorite kind of cheese?
Ooo! Oooo! De kind dot komms in a can vit' de little nozzle and you poke it and it squirts out efferyvhere und Megatron gets mad at me ven I play vit' it by his throne room. o.O
59. Name one inedible object you would not eat. Why wouldn't you eat it?
Technically I could eat anything, but very few items are an adequate source of energy. Organic things can substitute fuel if energon or oil is not available.
60. How do you spell "indubitably?"
With a Q! Duh. xD
61. What number question is this? Oh, I'm so clever for asking this.
Indeed you are.
62. Did you put 61 for the last question? If you didn't, you're borderline retarded.
No, I did not.
63. What's your favorite emoticon?
I am afraid I do not know any Emoticons, unless it is a new combiner team I haff not heard about.
64. Which describes you better: a dangerous alcoholic or a magic picture that changes colors when you stare at it long enough?
The latter. I change from blue to red to black, just like magic! =D
65. If you could visit any place in the world, what would your excuse be for not going there?
Unfortunately your bars do not suit vun my size.
66. Name your pirate ship. Yes, you have a pirate ship now.
Tidalwave.
67. Which is the OS: Unix or Linux?
Ah.... Unix?
68. Do you like brunch?
NO! I like CRUNCH! Like ven Autobots get SMASHED!
69. Aww, why not?
I told you already.
70. How about Lupper?
… Huh?
71. Still no?
You aggravate me, Question Asker.
72. Screw you and your organized meals.
YOU AGGRAVATE ME!!!! *flames and sounds of excessive destruction*
73. Can you blow bubbles with your spit?
... Ahem. I cannot say I haff tried.
74. Fill in the blanks: Cars are useful vehicles for transportation.
Are you functioning properly?
75. Screw subtlety. Name everyone you're obsessing about.
You must haff mistaken me for Lugnut.
76. If Indiana Jones and Lara Croft had a kid, wouldn't he or she be freaking invincible?
.....
77. Black Spidey or red Spidey?
Red-- no Black--Red--Black--Red--Black---RED, YOU CRAZ--purple vit' green spots!! xD AHAHAHAHAHA!
78. Do you like Wii Sports? Do you like to accidentally hit people with the Wiimotes?
... No. Ven are ve going to be finished?
79. How's that rash doing?
Just fine. How’s your BROKEN FACE DOINK????!
80. Name your favorite person ever.
I suppose Rusty or Breakaway.
81. Say a swear word.
POOT! xD AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
82. I'm telling your mom. Don't you feel bad now?
Not really.
83. Hot potatoes, cold spaghetti, or smashed banana?
None of de above.
84. Name a fat person.
Transformers are generally not considered "fat"....
85. You should be ashamed of yourself for answering that question.
HAY, you vant to SAY DOT to my FISTS, PUNK?!
86. Do any songs give you headaches?
Despite Random's love for de song, I despise whoeffer invented "Caramelldansen." I VILL find you.
87. What's your IP address?
I do not haff vun recognizable to your numbering system.
88. If you were a superhero's sidekick, who would you sidekick for?
I vouldn't. These questions are nonsense.
89. If you were vice-president, who would you vice-president for?
Megatron, of course.
90. Who do you play as in Super Smash Bros. Melee?
No.
91. Why don't you play as Princess Peach? She rocks.
I said NO. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND DE VORDS I AM SAYINK????!
92. Alien or predator?
TOUCAN. xD
93. Have you seen 300? Have you seen the PG version?
I haff seen three hundred dead, yes.
94. What is the value of Planck's constant? (I told you that this would be on the quiz.)
In your terms, Planck's constant is a unit used in quantum mechanics dot equals de ratio of de energy of a quantum of radiation to de frequency of de radiation, approximately 6.626 x 10 -34 / joule second.
95-99. List five historically significant people that need to take this quiz.
Lugnut (to vatch him think)
Rusty (He'd know de culture references)
Max (same reason)
..... dot's it. I am finished now.
100. Gimme a dollar!
YOU BURN IN DE PIT! I AM FINISHED NOW! HITTING DE 'SEND' KEY! OR VOTEFFER!
Vell, I haff had this journal for awhile now and I finally had a spare moment to use it. Ve haff been very busy since Megatron vas restored by de child's AllSpark key . Ve haff been setting up our new base of operations for about a month now. Megatron does not appreciate idleness so I haff been keeping myself occupied until effrything settled down.
Ah, before I forget, I'll note dot I'll refer to time in human units instead of Cybertronian. I do not expect many to know vot a "breem" or "vorn" is.
Although Megatron keeps us hard at work, I am grateful for two things: I no longer have to listen to Starscream, and Lugnut is now always busy vit' following Megatron around.
I haff noticed dot a common phenomenon in journals is to answer pointless lists of questions for de amusement of readers. I haff found such a list and I haff some time before my next reconnaissance assignment.
1. Are you some kind of robot?
Howeffer did you guess?
2. Point at something random. What is it?
-- HEY, dot's me!!!!! =D
3. Describe your hair.
Does not apply.
4. On a scale from 1 to awesome, how sexy are you?
Quite awesome. Heh.
5. Who would you like to hug the most right now?
I don't hug. Sorry gurls. ---Unless of course you vant a hug from de CRAZY VUN!!!! =D
6. What is your quest?
To DESTROY all de PATHETIC AUTOBOTS INTO PILES OF SCRAP METAL!!!!!!!
7. You encounter a forest troll. What do you do?
Encase it in ice und drop it in a children's playground.
8. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?
Any of my split mentality's names, I suppose.
9. Did you ever start eating even though you weren't really hungry, just so you could chew on something?
Random is known for chewing on furniture, but it's not really for satisfying hunger.
10. A super-fundamentalist Christian challenges your point of view. What do you do?
Step on it.
11. Fill in the blanks: I would love to _______ with _______ because ________.
Ooo! Oooo! I know! I vould luff to play kickball vit Bumblebee because he is zo small!!!!!! x3
12. Make your own question, then answer it!
Ah..... How many fans does Megatron have?
--- Only as many as Lugnut holds for him!!!! xD AHAHAHAHA
13. Repeat question 12.
How many---- vaaaaaaaaait.
14. Ferrets, ducks, or geckos?
Ooooo, I much like de talking gecko on TV! xD He talks funny!!!
15. Use the word "awesome" in a complete sentence.
Awesome backvards is "emosewa".
16. Scream something at the top of your lungs. Write what you said, and any reactions of your former friends who all think that you're creepy now.
"HAY ANYBODY LOSE A PELVIS??"
..... Yah. See, I actually do dot all de time.
17. Did you know that you can buy Staples brand staples? Do you think they're of decent quality?
I do not vorry about such things.
18. Fill in more blanks: _______ is my worst nightmare. I would rather _______.
Silence is my vorst nightmare. I vould rather listen to de chatter in mine head.
19. There is a bagel on the floor. Are you gonna eat it? Wanna split it?
Seeing as it is too small to supply me with any tangible amount of energy, you may haff it.
20. What color is Jim's red gun? Bonus points for a correct answer.
It is logical to conclude dot de gun is red, but do you know if it's red for SURE, or are you imagining it?
21. Did you ever seriously ask in your life, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
... Ah, no....
22. If you answered yes, did you ever get an honest answer?
Question does not apply.
23. If you answered yes... yeah, right.
If you say zo.
24. If you had super powers but were weak to one thing, what would be your "kryptonite?" Would you actively seek it out in a desperate bid to be normal?
Seeing as "normal" is not a vord usually associated vit' me, I vould instead choose to retain my so-called "super powers" and live as I vas intended to.
25. What kind of animal is Goofy? You can't seriously tell me that he's a dog. That's just... stupid.
I am not familiar vit' an animal called goofy. I imagine it is small and squishy.
26. Fill in the blanks: Canada is to America as ______ is to _______.
ah.... North is to south.
27. In three words, summarize "To Kill A Mockingbird." If you've never read it, give it a shot anyways.
Use a hammer!!!!!! =D
28. Can you whistle?
Only ven de vind blows through my armour de wrong vay. It is embarrassing.
29. What's your favorite Disney princess? Why?
I am inclined to dead vuns.
30. Whether you want to or not, you're starting a heavy metal band. What do you name it? (Bonus points for # of pretentious misspellings.)
De Stage Devastators.
31. What is the Internet made of?
Data terminals and primitive copper wire.
32. What is jazz like?
He is a challenge to face in battle but easy to bring down. He is not, howeffer, as pathetic as Sentinel Prime. Dot Autobot is a joke.
33. Make up an animal and describe it briefly.
Uuuuummmmmmm.... de TurboFrog. xD It's small und green und it goes fast.
34. Count the number of times that the letter "t" appears in this line.
Ten.
35. Would you tap a mountain to shock someone?
No, I vould THROW IT AT THEM. HAHAHA.
36. Have you ever been hypnotized? Describe the feeling briefly.
I cannot say I haff, although I vould luff to see anybody try.
37. What's the silliest thing you can think of right now? I'll probably make fun of it and come up with something better, FYI.
Lugnut in an apron. ...... I vant to remove my mind's optic now......
38. Fill in the blanks: _____ is good, but ______ is better!
One dead Autobot is goot, but ALL de Autobots dead is BETTER!
39. Would you like to repeat the last 38 questions? If yes, copy and paste them after this question.
.... I just spent a goot amount of time deleting those questions now after catching Random. Thanks a lot.
40. Do animals tend to like you or avoid you?
Those who do not avoid me get stepped on.
41. You're on a date. Your girlfriend/boyfriend is slightly emotionally unbalanced and paranoid, insisting that "the waiters are all staring at me." How do you respond?
”Dot's because you're not vearing your vine glass properly! Here, let me show y-- hay, vere are you going????"
42. What do you want for your birthday?
My two front tee--- HAY, I already haff mine! xD
43. What's your personal opinion on nurses? I just have to ask.
They can be pleasant, I suppose, ven you are not trying to mangle them.
44. Do you freak out when there's a bee nearby?
Only if it vas bigger than a convertible.
45. What's your favorite song?
Oh, you just HAD to start dis debate... okay okay. I haff three, and I vill pick from human music.
Icy-- "It's Not my Time" by 3 Doors Down
Hothead-- "Hell Yeah" by Rev Theory
Random- "Caramelldansen"
De three of us appreciate Disturbed's "Divide" und "In Amber Clad" from Halo. But all these things could change tomorrow....
46. HAVE YOU EVAR KISSED IN THE RAIN:
Negative.
47. You seriously didn't answer that, did you?
Isn’t that de point of this thing?
48. What is candy made out of?
Ground up fluffy bunnies and food coloring. But it all tastes zo goot!!! =D
49. You like jump rope, don'tcha?
Rope does not jump.
50. What TV show would you most like to be on? You should answer "The Price is Right", so you could play plinko. Duh.
"Whose Line is it, Anyway?" vould be fitting because half de time I don't know either.
51. LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANS!
Only if I can EAT THEM!!!! x3
52. You went to prison. Why?
Apparently haffing a mental breakdown and murdering best friends is against de law effen if they did set you up.
53. Magikarp looks FIERCE. T/F?
Ah.... yes?
54. Fill in the blanks: _________.
Dot is vun blank. You should learn how to count.
55. So, did you count 10 "t"s in question 34? If you didn't, you fail.
Of course I did.
56. What's your opinion on Hooters? (The restaurant.)
I cannot say.
57. Is Orlando Bloom a very pathetic guy or a really ugly girl? I can't tell.
Who?
58. What's your favorite kind of cheese?
Ooo! Oooo! De kind dot komms in a can vit' de little nozzle and you poke it and it squirts out efferyvhere und Megatron gets mad at me ven I play vit' it by his throne room. o.O
59. Name one inedible object you would not eat. Why wouldn't you eat it?
Technically I could eat anything, but very few items are an adequate source of energy. Organic things can substitute fuel if energon or oil is not available.
60. How do you spell "indubitably?"
With a Q! Duh. xD
61. What number question is this? Oh, I'm so clever for asking this.
Indeed you are.
62. Did you put 61 for the last question? If you didn't, you're borderline retarded.
No, I did not.
63. What's your favorite emoticon?
I am afraid I do not know any Emoticons, unless it is a new combiner team I haff not heard about.
64. Which describes you better: a dangerous alcoholic or a magic picture that changes colors when you stare at it long enough?
The latter. I change from blue to red to black, just like magic! =D
65. If you could visit any place in the world, what would your excuse be for not going there?
Unfortunately your bars do not suit vun my size.
66. Name your pirate ship. Yes, you have a pirate ship now.
Tidalwave.
67. Which is the OS: Unix or Linux?
Ah.... Unix?
68. Do you like brunch?
NO! I like CRUNCH! Like ven Autobots get SMASHED!
69. Aww, why not?
I told you already.
70. How about Lupper?
… Huh?
71. Still no?
You aggravate me, Question Asker.
72. Screw you and your organized meals.
YOU AGGRAVATE ME!!!! *flames and sounds of excessive destruction*
73. Can you blow bubbles with your spit?
... Ahem. I cannot say I haff tried.
74. Fill in the blanks: Cars are useful vehicles for transportation.
Are you functioning properly?
75. Screw subtlety. Name everyone you're obsessing about.
You must haff mistaken me for Lugnut.
76. If Indiana Jones and Lara Croft had a kid, wouldn't he or she be freaking invincible?
.....
77. Black Spidey or red Spidey?
Red-- no Black--Red--Black--Red--Black---RED, YOU CRAZ--purple vit' green spots!! xD AHAHAHAHAHA!
78. Do you like Wii Sports? Do you like to accidentally hit people with the Wiimotes?
... No. Ven are ve going to be finished?
79. How's that rash doing?
Just fine. How’s your BROKEN FACE DOINK????!
80. Name your favorite person ever.
I suppose Rusty or Breakaway.
81. Say a swear word.
POOT! xD AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
82. I'm telling your mom. Don't you feel bad now?
Not really.
83. Hot potatoes, cold spaghetti, or smashed banana?
None of de above.
84. Name a fat person.
Transformers are generally not considered "fat"....
85. You should be ashamed of yourself for answering that question.
HAY, you vant to SAY DOT to my FISTS, PUNK?!
86. Do any songs give you headaches?
Despite Random's love for de song, I despise whoeffer invented "Caramelldansen." I VILL find you.
87. What's your IP address?
I do not haff vun recognizable to your numbering system.
88. If you were a superhero's sidekick, who would you sidekick for?
I vouldn't. These questions are nonsense.
89. If you were vice-president, who would you vice-president for?
Megatron, of course.
90. Who do you play as in Super Smash Bros. Melee?
No.
91. Why don't you play as Princess Peach? She rocks.
I said NO. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND DE VORDS I AM SAYINK????!
92. Alien or predator?
TOUCAN. xD
93. Have you seen 300? Have you seen the PG version?
I haff seen three hundred dead, yes.
94. What is the value of Planck's constant? (I told you that this would be on the quiz.)
In your terms, Planck's constant is a unit used in quantum mechanics dot equals de ratio of de energy of a quantum of radiation to de frequency of de radiation, approximately 6.626 x 10 -34 / joule second.
95-99. List five historically significant people that need to take this quiz.
Lugnut (to vatch him think)
Rusty (He'd know de culture references)
Max (same reason)
..... dot's it. I am finished now.
100. Gimme a dollar!
YOU BURN IN DE PIT! I AM FINISHED NOW! HITTING DE 'SEND' KEY! OR VOTEFFER!