(no subject)
They always tell you, if you smoke you are going to die. The one thing they tend to leave out is that even if you don't smoke...you're going to die. Its just a matter of when and how.
I'm one of those people who are brillant in my mind, and terrified in my heart.
I know everything, I'm just not aware of everything I know yet.
I grew up before my time. Leaving my childhood in ashes. Sadly enough I can't even remember my childhood. It's a mixture of horrible memory(I'm lucky to remember what I wore the day before, not to mention some odd years ago), and not wanting to remember I suppose. I hear people constantly talk about everything bad in their lives, and so rarely about the precious memories. Everyone has pain in their pasts, no ones life was perfect, regardless of outside appearences. Dwelling on everything that went wrong allows it to control you, allows it to have a power that it should not be granted. You look back and think "I should have done this" or "I should have done that" but it's over with now, and you can't do what you believe you could have. Hindsight is a bitch.
I don't believe in fate. I don't feel as if my life is mapped out for me, and everything that happens was meant to happen. I believe we make our own choices, of our own accord, without anyone, or anything knowing we would make that choice. Life is a game guess and check. You do one thing, and you figure out you should have done it another way, or maybe on the optimistic side, you did it just right.
But the thing is, is that of course there is going to be a lot of horrid things in your life, past present and future. It's the small things, those little experiences that you look back on and smile or laugh to yourself about that are what makes life that more worth living. When you get to the point that you can't laugh at yourself, and everything that happens is a constant embarassment, or your too scared to follow your instincts, how can you say your living? When you live your life in a box, making sure nothing is there to touch you or hurt you, and you terrified to die so bad you do nothing exciting, or anything at all for that matter, your already half dead.
We live in a society where everyone second guesses using someone elses hairbrush in case of getting lice. Its just lice, you go to the supermarket and buy a lice be gone kit. Or your afraid to share a drink because they might have cooties, but with a more medical term I'm sure. We have this ironic detachment from everyone and everything, we try to live our lives making sure no one means enough to us, or is close enough to us to hurt us. But its part of life, its a learning experience. Life is just one big lesson, there is nothing more productive you gain from life then knowledge and wisdom. Yes they are two different things.
I've rambled enough for one entry, and I'm sure it made little sense to anyone but me, but eh, thats the way it goes.
Toodles.
I'm one of those people who are brillant in my mind, and terrified in my heart.
I know everything, I'm just not aware of everything I know yet.
I grew up before my time. Leaving my childhood in ashes. Sadly enough I can't even remember my childhood. It's a mixture of horrible memory(I'm lucky to remember what I wore the day before, not to mention some odd years ago), and not wanting to remember I suppose. I hear people constantly talk about everything bad in their lives, and so rarely about the precious memories. Everyone has pain in their pasts, no ones life was perfect, regardless of outside appearences. Dwelling on everything that went wrong allows it to control you, allows it to have a power that it should not be granted. You look back and think "I should have done this" or "I should have done that" but it's over with now, and you can't do what you believe you could have. Hindsight is a bitch.
I don't believe in fate. I don't feel as if my life is mapped out for me, and everything that happens was meant to happen. I believe we make our own choices, of our own accord, without anyone, or anything knowing we would make that choice. Life is a game guess and check. You do one thing, and you figure out you should have done it another way, or maybe on the optimistic side, you did it just right.
But the thing is, is that of course there is going to be a lot of horrid things in your life, past present and future. It's the small things, those little experiences that you look back on and smile or laugh to yourself about that are what makes life that more worth living. When you get to the point that you can't laugh at yourself, and everything that happens is a constant embarassment, or your too scared to follow your instincts, how can you say your living? When you live your life in a box, making sure nothing is there to touch you or hurt you, and you terrified to die so bad you do nothing exciting, or anything at all for that matter, your already half dead.
We live in a society where everyone second guesses using someone elses hairbrush in case of getting lice. Its just lice, you go to the supermarket and buy a lice be gone kit. Or your afraid to share a drink because they might have cooties, but with a more medical term I'm sure. We have this ironic detachment from everyone and everything, we try to live our lives making sure no one means enough to us, or is close enough to us to hurt us. But its part of life, its a learning experience. Life is just one big lesson, there is nothing more productive you gain from life then knowledge and wisdom. Yes they are two different things.
I've rambled enough for one entry, and I'm sure it made little sense to anyone but me, but eh, thats the way it goes.
Toodles.