Stay the Course
My favorite book is Moby Dick, favorite color is green, favorite song is "Wonderful" by Everclear and I hope to one day be a father. I've been thinking a lot lately about the little things that make up Me. It's weird how it could've been yesterday that I had made the decision to grow up. Yes in fact growing up is a decision, it doesn't just happen, you must actively pursue it. Everything I am and everything I will be give me hope that I can make a difference. I can make it better. I almost lost my faith in myself, in humanity, in everyone a long, long time ago. I'm here today because of the choices I made yesterday and the fortitude to move on.
Life can be boiled down to many things. My personal favorite is loss. Everyone in life regardless of age, race, sex, creed will experience loss in their lifetime. It is an insurmountable fact and when you realize it, then and only then can you be equipped to take it on. We will lose family members, football games, pets, money, love...anything that was worth it in the first place to gain can be lost. I may lose my life in 4 years or 4 minutes. Either way it will not hamper my ability to enjoy myself.
I'm sitting here typing this while I stare at the mound of paperwork from the Navy basically given to me so I can sign my life away, establish security clearance, set up life insurance in case I buy the farm next summer on a "Training Exercise". I want this to be my life, I want to go and fight for the country that has given me so much. I want to be there on the front lines keeping my men safe and giving my life if necessary to ensure the safety of others. There is a large part of my soul that yearns to protect others, to save any and all that I can. People ask: "Why YOU?". Why not me? Am I not qualified to do carry out the sacred and most ancient duty of being a SOLDIER? I believe I am, I believe I will become the best soldier I can be. I want to make a difference, not from behind a desk but from the middle of a dense rain forest or a war torn city. Those ugly places that we only see on CNN or NBC but love to bitch about and say how we shouldn't be there in the first place. Every night we turn on the TV to watch what we hate. WHY? You have no right to stand up and speak your mind if you haven't spilled blood to get there...actually the Constitution says otherwise but I'm sure Thomas Jefferson would've edited that part out if he heard the mindless psycho-babble being spewed by the media nowadays. Yet we ignore these patriots. These generals, presidents, people we freely elect to govern us. All we can see are the faults. Everyone has faults, imperfections. These little quirks are what make us significant.
I was supposed to leave yesterday for boot camp, today would've been my first day of Recruit Training at Paris Island. I am still here. Still here because the Marine Corps. saw fit to appoint me as a Midshipman so I can qualify for Officer Candidacy. I can't help but feel maybe I made the wrong decision. College is not this temple of safe discovery that can;t be found anywhere else. I want to get into the real world already, start the ball rolling. I don't want anymore paperwork. I'm tired of pens and paper. I just want a change. I want to be with fellow soldiers, fellow cogs in the clock that is Life. Machine parts. Engines.
So obviously I've got a lot on my mind if you've read this far I'm sorry if what I'm saying is incoherent and well not exactly organized. I'm just a tad bit distraught over recent events and thankfully there is a place like Live Journal where I can do this freely. Read it or not I feel better after typing this.
Go see WALL*E...it's great...seriously.
Life can be boiled down to many things. My personal favorite is loss. Everyone in life regardless of age, race, sex, creed will experience loss in their lifetime. It is an insurmountable fact and when you realize it, then and only then can you be equipped to take it on. We will lose family members, football games, pets, money, love...anything that was worth it in the first place to gain can be lost. I may lose my life in 4 years or 4 minutes. Either way it will not hamper my ability to enjoy myself.
I'm sitting here typing this while I stare at the mound of paperwork from the Navy basically given to me so I can sign my life away, establish security clearance, set up life insurance in case I buy the farm next summer on a "Training Exercise". I want this to be my life, I want to go and fight for the country that has given me so much. I want to be there on the front lines keeping my men safe and giving my life if necessary to ensure the safety of others. There is a large part of my soul that yearns to protect others, to save any and all that I can. People ask: "Why YOU?". Why not me? Am I not qualified to do carry out the sacred and most ancient duty of being a SOLDIER? I believe I am, I believe I will become the best soldier I can be. I want to make a difference, not from behind a desk but from the middle of a dense rain forest or a war torn city. Those ugly places that we only see on CNN or NBC but love to bitch about and say how we shouldn't be there in the first place. Every night we turn on the TV to watch what we hate. WHY? You have no right to stand up and speak your mind if you haven't spilled blood to get there...actually the Constitution says otherwise but I'm sure Thomas Jefferson would've edited that part out if he heard the mindless psycho-babble being spewed by the media nowadays. Yet we ignore these patriots. These generals, presidents, people we freely elect to govern us. All we can see are the faults. Everyone has faults, imperfections. These little quirks are what make us significant.
I was supposed to leave yesterday for boot camp, today would've been my first day of Recruit Training at Paris Island. I am still here. Still here because the Marine Corps. saw fit to appoint me as a Midshipman so I can qualify for Officer Candidacy. I can't help but feel maybe I made the wrong decision. College is not this temple of safe discovery that can;t be found anywhere else. I want to get into the real world already, start the ball rolling. I don't want anymore paperwork. I'm tired of pens and paper. I just want a change. I want to be with fellow soldiers, fellow cogs in the clock that is Life. Machine parts. Engines.
So obviously I've got a lot on my mind if you've read this far I'm sorry if what I'm saying is incoherent and well not exactly organized. I'm just a tad bit distraught over recent events and thankfully there is a place like Live Journal where I can do this freely. Read it or not I feel better after typing this.
Go see WALL*E...it's great...seriously.