Depressed for No Good Reason
So yeah... as the title suggest, I am depressed. I'm not really sure why. I mean my day went fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. No one called me a loser or called and said I was dead or nothing. But I feel depressed. Two things tend to happen when I'm depressed. One I can't really do much, or I should say I don't want to do anything. I just want to feel like crap and regard anyone that tries to cheer me up as an enemy. I generally go on a walk and contemplate things like the existance of God. Pretty neat stuff goes on in my head when I do that, which usually makes me feel better. Number 2 thing that happens is I play really loud music. What was really fun was when I had a cd player on my walks. That was always productive. Needless to say, now there isn't anyone to walk with. So I guess I'll do what the Green Day song says and "Walk Along (Alone)". I used to run really far when I was depressed. I'm not talking 2 miles... but more like 15 or 17. I would run until the sun would go down, and well if you start at 3 or 4 pm well you get the idea. I can't do that anymore b/c my ankel is all messed up. Who would have thought :P. But I used to run in the woods and "talk" to God. Generally it involved me complaining that my life sucked. I suppose I do tend to dwell on things. Anyways, this one time I was running when I heard a voice in my head that said Go to the top of that hill, and so I did. When I got to the top I about cried. Which if you now anything about running you realize that emotions and a fast heart beat don't go well. Anyways, at the top of the hill was a rainbow. Now if you know some things about scripture you know that a rainbow appears as a sort of covenant. "God ain't gonna destroy the earth" depending on what chapter you read it might be "God ain't gonna destroy the earth with water". Needless to say God spoke to me in a really profound way, it made me realize that God didn't bring me into the world to suffer but to thrive. Not to die but to live fully. So yeah I get depressed but that rainbow speaks volumes to me and helps me out :).