application.
Character: Chris D'Amico / Red Mist
Series: Kick-Ass (movie)
Age: ~18
Canon: Why hasn't anyone ever actually tried to be a superhero? That's the question that Dave Lizewski finds himself asking in the movie Kick-Ass, and the answer he comes to is - well, why the hell not? And so, after donning a wetsuit (and a false start that resulted in an epic ass-kicking, which then "gifted" Dave with dulled nerves that enabled him to withstand pain), Dave takes up the name "Kick-Ass" and fights crime on the streets, making it his duty to help people. As he becomes an internet sensation and grows in popularity, he befriends two fellow superheroes: Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, who have been slowly picking off crime boss Frank D'Amico's blooming drug enterprise. Needless to say? Frank D'Amico isn't too pleased with the sudden superhero boom.
Fortunately, he has his son - Chris D'Amico. "Spoiled" is one word that could be used to describe him; "nerd" would be a tad more apt. Chris initially comes off as your average teenage boy would: somewhat foul-mouthed (albeit not nearly as much as Hit-Girl), snarky, pop culture and comic savvy, and all-in-all? Kind of obnoxious. As the son of a crime lord, he's had everything handed to him, but what he wants most from his father and from others is genuine respect. So when the opportunity presents itself, Chris gladly offers to assume the role of a fellow superhero, "Red Mist," and draw Kick-Ass into a trap. Through this ploy, Chris reveals that he isn't just Daddy's spoiled little child. While he may not be physically gifted, he's ridiculously clever and excels at putting his comic book knowledge to good use. But at the same time, he also shows another side to himself - a lonely, awkward kid who genuinely enjoys hanging out with another guy dressed up in a ridiculous costume. When he’s away from his father (as well as his influence), Chris is just a nerdy kid who wants to geek out and, well, be awesome with his fellow nerds.
Note: Chris is being pulled from before the final showdown in the movie.
Sample Post:
. . . jesus christ, did you guys do any research? I get that the whole "dressing up like a superhero" thing has become a fad that's spreading like wildfire and crossing over into other genres everywhere, but seriously, what the hell! If you’re going to try to act like zombies? Actually act like zombies. I'm not talking about the bullshit that Hollywood is spitting out these days, either, with Zombieland or whatever Resident Evil bastardization they’re shoving out. Pick up some Kirkman - The Walking Dead? - and actually read it. You could learn a thing or two about actually appearing to be threatening. The shambling about and begging for brains are hardly convincing, although I'll give you this: the prop hands are a decent touch. Heh, touch, did you- nevermind.
Look, whatever. If you really want some more tips or something, we can look them up on the internet. The reputable websites - none of that Wikipedia bullshit. But what I actually need right now is for you to break character for five seconds and tell me more about where the hell I am. I’ve been getting mixed messages all day, so I'd like some clarity. When my dad suggested summer camp, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I mean, it has internet, so - cool, it's not going to totally suck. Come on, though. Camp Fuck You Die? Ignoring the obvious nitpick there, where the hell is comma? Are they just telling me to fuck off and die, or if I actually fuck, am I going to die? - hey! That’s an actual scenario, all right? Shut up and stop rolling those goddamn fake prop eyes out of your plastic head, I’m being serious here!
Shit, wait . . . don’t tell me. I heard something earlier about the director of this place, but I didn't actually think it held any water. You know, the stories about her keeping people here? The dead fiance that's actually still alive? And the crazy shit about all the people she keeps here and what goes on? It seemed too out there for me, and I read Marvel. But now that I look at you guys - you're her minions, aren’t you? I keep asking you questions, and all you do is play dumb with your pseudo-zombie act that allows you to evade questions easily while trying to unnerve me with your constant pawing in the general direction of my head. That’s what’s going on, isn't it?
It's too bad that you guys completely fail at it. Look at you! It's like everything I said earlier and then some. How does this woman actually expect herself to be taken seriously as a supervillain when she can't even maintain a reasonable level of credibility with her minions? This is totally lame. Listen, if your boss ever wants to pass beyond the bottom rung of supervillains and get even remotely close to the top of that ladder, she needs to start by not being a cheap asshole and shell out for better henchmen. Who the hell would actually buy you guys as zombies? The only thing you guys really have going for you, aside from a prop or two, is the simulated rotting flesh smell, but let me tell you: missing a week's worth of showers doesn’t exactly make you zombie-esque. It just makes you pretty goddamn gross.
God. Fucking wannabes.
[Voting went here.]
Series: Kick-Ass (movie)
Age: ~18
Canon: Why hasn't anyone ever actually tried to be a superhero? That's the question that Dave Lizewski finds himself asking in the movie Kick-Ass, and the answer he comes to is - well, why the hell not? And so, after donning a wetsuit (and a false start that resulted in an epic ass-kicking, which then "gifted" Dave with dulled nerves that enabled him to withstand pain), Dave takes up the name "Kick-Ass" and fights crime on the streets, making it his duty to help people. As he becomes an internet sensation and grows in popularity, he befriends two fellow superheroes: Hit-Girl and Big Daddy, who have been slowly picking off crime boss Frank D'Amico's blooming drug enterprise. Needless to say? Frank D'Amico isn't too pleased with the sudden superhero boom.
Fortunately, he has his son - Chris D'Amico. "Spoiled" is one word that could be used to describe him; "nerd" would be a tad more apt. Chris initially comes off as your average teenage boy would: somewhat foul-mouthed (albeit not nearly as much as Hit-Girl), snarky, pop culture and comic savvy, and all-in-all? Kind of obnoxious. As the son of a crime lord, he's had everything handed to him, but what he wants most from his father and from others is genuine respect. So when the opportunity presents itself, Chris gladly offers to assume the role of a fellow superhero, "Red Mist," and draw Kick-Ass into a trap. Through this ploy, Chris reveals that he isn't just Daddy's spoiled little child. While he may not be physically gifted, he's ridiculously clever and excels at putting his comic book knowledge to good use. But at the same time, he also shows another side to himself - a lonely, awkward kid who genuinely enjoys hanging out with another guy dressed up in a ridiculous costume. When he’s away from his father (as well as his influence), Chris is just a nerdy kid who wants to geek out and, well, be awesome with his fellow nerds.
Note: Chris is being pulled from before the final showdown in the movie.
Sample Post:
. . . jesus christ, did you guys do any research? I get that the whole "dressing up like a superhero" thing has become a fad that's spreading like wildfire and crossing over into other genres everywhere, but seriously, what the hell! If you’re going to try to act like zombies? Actually act like zombies. I'm not talking about the bullshit that Hollywood is spitting out these days, either, with Zombieland or whatever Resident Evil bastardization they’re shoving out. Pick up some Kirkman - The Walking Dead? - and actually read it. You could learn a thing or two about actually appearing to be threatening. The shambling about and begging for brains are hardly convincing, although I'll give you this: the prop hands are a decent touch. Heh, touch, did you- nevermind.
Look, whatever. If you really want some more tips or something, we can look them up on the internet. The reputable websites - none of that Wikipedia bullshit. But what I actually need right now is for you to break character for five seconds and tell me more about where the hell I am. I’ve been getting mixed messages all day, so I'd like some clarity. When my dad suggested summer camp, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. I mean, it has internet, so - cool, it's not going to totally suck. Come on, though. Camp Fuck You Die? Ignoring the obvious nitpick there, where the hell is comma? Are they just telling me to fuck off and die, or if I actually fuck, am I going to die? - hey! That’s an actual scenario, all right? Shut up and stop rolling those goddamn fake prop eyes out of your plastic head, I’m being serious here!
Shit, wait . . . don’t tell me. I heard something earlier about the director of this place, but I didn't actually think it held any water. You know, the stories about her keeping people here? The dead fiance that's actually still alive? And the crazy shit about all the people she keeps here and what goes on? It seemed too out there for me, and I read Marvel. But now that I look at you guys - you're her minions, aren’t you? I keep asking you questions, and all you do is play dumb with your pseudo-zombie act that allows you to evade questions easily while trying to unnerve me with your constant pawing in the general direction of my head. That’s what’s going on, isn't it?
It's too bad that you guys completely fail at it. Look at you! It's like everything I said earlier and then some. How does this woman actually expect herself to be taken seriously as a supervillain when she can't even maintain a reasonable level of credibility with her minions? This is totally lame. Listen, if your boss ever wants to pass beyond the bottom rung of supervillains and get even remotely close to the top of that ladder, she needs to start by not being a cheap asshole and shell out for better henchmen. Who the hell would actually buy you guys as zombies? The only thing you guys really have going for you, aside from a prop or two, is the simulated rotting flesh smell, but let me tell you: missing a week's worth of showers doesn’t exactly make you zombie-esque. It just makes you pretty goddamn gross.
God. Fucking wannabes.
[Voting went here.]