And sometimes you just ask yourself "what?"
I hate my job. and no its not for any reason that would be sensible like: my boss is a dick and likes to call me in at 8 in the morning sometimes to work for him because he has a hangover, or slipping on the wet tile floors causes some grievous physical injuries, or even that i have to deal with the grouchy public when they need to complain about something. No, my reason for hating my job is much simpler and in a way much more petty. i hate my job, because i'm still there. really that's it i hate my job because i can count the people who have more seniority then me there, on two hands. i see people who started after me move on to grown up jobs and out doing what they want to do and i just wanna cry, because i know that even when i get away from this job i still won't be doing what i want to be doing and that just eats at me. i don't want to be a teacher, i'm not even sure i ever really did, but i know that teaching for the institute really killed that dream in me and i no longer want to be a teacher. I just want to write now a days and i'm kicking myself for not going with that for my degree when i had the choice way back six years ago when i started, because i've changed my major once and i just don't have the patience or monetary abilities to do anything about it now. so i'm gonna be stuck with a useless degree that i want nothing to do with cutting meat at a dead end job dreaming about finally finishing one of my books and never getting around to it for the rest of my misspent life. yay, go me!