wondering thoughts
Do you ever sit back and look at the night sky and just wonder? Wonder why life seems so fucked up at time and then yet other times it's great. Or think how life throws these fucked up things in your direction. The fucked up relationships, not just dating relationships but friendships. How can something, this life, be so predetermined? Like things are that way just because. Is it destiny that makes things this way, a god, many gods, or just the way life is? Or do we, the human life form, just fuck up b/c we are built that way? Or could it just possibly be that we make it seem that way? Maybe it is just that we can't live any other way. I mean you wake up in the morning and know if it is going to be a good day or a bad day? Is destiny to blame or ourselves? Could it be that deep on our souls we just sometimes wake up and want to have a bad day or a good day? I know what your thinking "Why would I want to have a bad day? Why would I do that on my own will?". Well what if I am not so wrong and we do decide what we wil go through that day. Yes we do have a choice, and everyone would probably say "I hate bad days I would never choose that." But let just say you have a friend, and you and that person have been going through a rough time and haven't talked in awhile. Well you know when you call or see that person your not going to start out having a good convorsation. But yet you give in and talk to them, and you guys argue and hurt feelings happen. It is our choice to go through that. So is it really hard to think that maybe, just maybe we do choose to have a good day or a bad day? But not just days, a whole life time. Could it really be that we don't have to go through all the fucked up times if we don't want to, that it isn't fate/destiny that choose those hardships for us? This wise person and i were talking once about the fucked up and hard times in life. And how it always seems that there are more bad then good at times. Well he told me that granted yes there are many bad, good, hard, and easy times in life, but all the bad and fucked up sitiuations we go through we do to ourselves. It is you, the human that you are that puts yourself in the position, that there is no excuse to why things happen to us, we make them happen. Now think about that, think about all the fucked up things that have happened to you, or better yet not only you but people you know. And just think they happened really just because we in a sense wanted them to happen. Now you must be thinking damn i am fucked up to do that shit to myself. But really are you fucked up or is that just all of our major human flaw. It sucks to think that shit doesn't just happen it all just a choice, and we never think about how those choices can effect everyone we know, but then again do they effect other people. Say you go out and do drugs and die. All the people who loved you and cared are now hurt. But in all reality the people that are upset are that way only because they choose to be. Why let someone elses choices effect the way you feel, it was there choice not yours don't be sorry for them they did it to themselves. But yet if we did that and lived that way what would the world be like? Would it be better or worse? I guess we shall never know, but even though i know you won't I hope you think about the things I said. Good night all.