HEPHAITION'S BRIDE, PART 3
Author:heroineanilem
Summary: It's about Hephaistion's wedding to Drypetis. It is not know much about it, even less about Drypetis, so everything I wrote is pure work of my imagination mixed with some facts about life in ancient Persian Empire.
Rating: R-ish?
Disclaimer: Characters mentioned here are either work of fiction or fictionaly used. I don't make money out of this.
Feedback: Yes, please!
Waking up felt even worse to Drypetis, than falling asleep drowned in her own tears. Summer sun has already crept into to the chamber, heating it unpleasantly and making the air clammy, almost sticky. Drypetis pushed fallen strands of loosen hair out of sleepy eyes; her head eached and she was sure that a drummer was beating the polls into her head, or was it someone knocking on the door.
At another knock, Drypetis jumped from her bed fully awake, dread on her face equaled to last night's. Memories raced back, and she could perfectly understand gravity of her situation, and his, when it comes to that. She glanced outside. According to the sun rays it was around noon; she slept for too long. Now she didn't know what to do, what say, some lie, definitely, but what. What will be that convincing; she might have not liked her husband, but she didn't want to see him ashamed.
The second knock was heard and she turned around panicky, when her look fell upon the white bundle.
-Wait!-she ordered.
Swift fingers untangled it, spreading it. A breath of relief escaped her throat and she promptly stripped the bed of its sheet, throwing it into the clothes chest. The knew one was put up in haste, ruffled on the edges, testifying of a passionate night.
When the inspection, led by her own grandmother was over, she slumped
into a chair, facing open windows and rested chin on drown up knees. She watched thin, white clouds flowing on the wind, their slow motion calming down her nerves.
Unfortunately, peace was short-lived, for a sharp knock was heard, again, and before Drypetis could answer, a well-known, tall figure slipped through barely opened doors and carefully closed them behind.
-Oh, it's you.-Drypetis muttered, only turning her head to see her sister.
Stateira stood silent behind her, her face serious, but her features carried indisputable gleam of happiness. Drypetis smiled and extended arm to pull Stateira next to her. She knew it was enough for Stateira to start talking, and it was better Stateira to talk than herself.
-So, you came to me , Stateira,....there must be a reason.-she teased.
Stateira shyly dropped her head, but wicked smile played on her lips.
-So...you want to tell me something?
-Yes, but I don't know where to start.
-With yourself....or with Iskender.-Suddenly she felt overwhelming curiosity to know everything about the King. She imagined he must've been extremely attentive, when Stateira was so happy. -How was it? Was he gentle?
Stateira blushed and nodded frenticly.
-Come on.Tell me!-Drypetis ordered playfully, pulling her sister down on the cushions. She thanked gods it was her facing such miserable fate; she didn't know how would Stateira act, she would simply break.She was a typical woman: shy and soft and good natured, but stubborn as an ox when it comes to defending her own.
-He was gentle and passionate and...simply beautiful.
-I thought that much.-Drypetis murmered softly.
-When he came to my room, I expected him to...to...to just get with the thing done, but he talked to me for a while and it calmed me down. Then, he let my hair loose and played with it for some time. Then he kissed me and before I was aware of the whole world spinning around me, he took me in his arms and disposed me on the bed...and...-Stateira took a deep breath, trying to defeat uneasiness-Well, it did hurt and I wanted to cry, but then I saw a long, deep scar on his chest and thought how much it must have hurt him, so I just bit my lip. At the end he took me in his arms and that's how I woke up in the morning.
Drypetis was only half listening her sister's story. Her head and was bowed and her hair fell down her face, but behind the jet curtain her mouth were opened, grasping for air, while she tried not to let tears fall. She didn't want to ask Stateira more, there was no need. She could imagine Iskender's gentleness, she could feel every touch he traced over her sister's skin, every kiss, every curve of his body and above all cloudy eyes that bore deep into her soul. Now she felt jealous of her sister, for the first time in her life. Not that she wanted her doom, far from that: Drypetis was simply angry that Stateira has never seen the life, the fire, the inner strength-perfection in him. For her, she knew, he was only Hshajathija Vazarka, a gentle and honorable man, powerful leader, but what she didn't see was where it all came from. They both listened the rumors that swept through palace before he came and after he left, but Stateira took everything for granted, she never tried to imagine him in reality, in battles, making decisions, she never tried to understand his character. She was always content to be seen as his Queen, a woman if she was to become his wife. But, Drypetis would try to become a consort.
-Are you fine?- Stateira's voice broke into her mind. Drypetis shook her head in confirmation, but didn't say anything. Stateira pulled her close, hugging her firmly. -What about you?
Drypetis waited until she could trust her voice and said:
-My husband didn't wait the dawn with me.-she said sarcasticly.
-I'm sorry.
-You shouldn't be. I'm perfectly fine with that.-Drypetis jumped on her feet, anger rising in her heart.
-Oh, no, you're not.-Stateira raised her voice-And stop pretending, at least in front of me. What happened to you? You have never been like this!
-Everything happened as I wished!
-No, you are trying to persuade yourself, but it's not true. Was he rude?
-I don't understand what is it you want to hear from me! Everything is fine. I'm happy for you and you should be. Iskender was gentle towards you and you enjoyed the night...his touches and kisses...his lovemaking...and anyone would. I'm glad for that. I just didn't fall in love with my husband as you did!
-No, you didn't.-Stateira whispered, fixing Drypetis with her glance, ironical smile adorning her mouth-But you did with mine.
Drypetis jerked, her mouth fell open, her eyes dilated with fear. She blinked several times, bringing herself together.
-What did you say?
-There's no need to pretend.
-Stateira, you asked me once and I told you I didn't like him more than before!
Stateira smiled compassionately.
-I'm not angry, Drypetis. Had it been now, I might have been, but it all happened so long ago...Do you think I forgot with how much passion you always talked about him? At first I thought it to be just a girl's infatuation, but through the years I've understood it will stay. I'm sorry for being his wife. It should be you. You are much more of a queen than I am, but it's not my fault to be the first-borne.
Drypetis couldn't see the sun shining into her face: the whole world turned into darkness. She could feel its weight upon her shoulder and she knew she would break under it, but needed to suffer firstly. Demons in her turned against her and strangely she was content it was like that; she would never hurt her Stateira. She cursed herself for blindness and selfishness.
Drypetis shook her head left and right, but there was no need to deny.
-Was it that obvious?- she barely moved her lips
-No, it wasn't, not at all, in fact. But I'm your sister and older one.- Stateira still smiled and got up to take her into her embrace.
-Did grandmother know?
-I don't think so. Now, calm down, I'm at your side, whatever you do. I'll stay by you. Even if you want to get Iskender drunk and make him sleep with you I won't be jealous, it's always better you, if you want that, than...-she didn't finish the sentence; there was no place for her own fury towards the Bactrian.
-Oh, no! Don't say such things!
-Shhh! Calm down.
They sat in silence for some time, neither wanting to disturb it. At the end Stateira spoke.
-Now tell me what is wrong with your husband. I've thought him to be gentleman. He is hold in high esteem.
-I don't know.-Drypetis' voice was small and husky-He was rude....he almost ...tried to rape me!
-Come on! I can't believe that. He might've been only a bit more passionate.
-Call it as you wish, but I won't let him treat me as a whore he could find anywhere!
-Well, I've heard that men are different even with the boys...you know...more demanding. And, well, you know what people say, so if it's true, two men might not be the gentlest when together.
-I don't care what he did with Iskender while being in that barbaric country, but he's here now, civilized and I'm a princess, so I expect some respect!
-I think you exaggerate.
-Oh, you know!
Stateira sighed not knowing how to help her younger sister.
-Now, listen to me and then make your own judgment! I don't know what you've heard of him, but let me tell what I have.
Drypetis only nodded quietly.
-I've heard people say different things about him even among his own countryments. Some love him, some hate him, but none is indifferent. Some say he's high skilled, and some say he can't even ride into battle without Iskender. What we know is that Iskender loves him dearly, more than his own head, and that trusts him immensely. We know some things he did for the King. I don't know how's he in the battle, but he must be good enough, otherwise he wouldn't survive. Second, we know that Iskender sent him to choose the King of Sidon and it seems he did it wisely. What do you think would happen if the Sidonians rebelled, wanting to get freedom, for example, when the power was still unstable in Iskender's hands and we know that he had problem with some of his own trusted generals left behind that he had to execute...
-Yes, I know what would have happened. I thanked Ahura Mazda hundreds times that it didn't. They might simply unite with the rebellion general and divide the power or at the end start they own war.-Drypetis cut her.
-Exactly. But nothing happened for he chose the right person. You know that he led a part of the army on the way back from India, and who knows how many other things he did in the battles or on his own missions. And there is always that special place he holds in Iskender's heart whether you or me like it or not. I don't think it would change. Now, do you think that Iskender, of whom you've always had such aloof opinion, would love so much and for so long a person who is so different from him: rude, without manners, incompetent, uneducated and low in his basic needs?
-I've never thought you think that much about him. I always though it was only me thinking in that way. I didn't know you ever analyze someone's character...and...-Drypetis was speechless, understanding for how long she has been blind, how selfish she's been when it came to her sister.
-That's because you always thought too much about Iskender and never wanted to see the one closest to him, from simple jealousy or loving blindness that I do not know.
-So, are you jealous of my husband?-Drypetis asked
-No. He had been in Iskender's heart long before I came and I'm satisfied to be his Queen and give him heirs that will stop the bloodshed in Persia.
-But I can't. What should I do?- Drypetis felt desperate for the first time. Everything was done and she didn't know how to act, she was simply confused.
-I know you want everything from your position that you can get and I'm sure you'll make your husband find place for you in his heart. You know so much. I remember that you were the only one on the lessons really listening to them; I was always lost and not interested, but you drank every word from that old Greek's lips.
Drypetis laughed. It was true. She always wanted to know everything about her Iskender and his way of life.
-Do you think he could love me...not as a woman, but as a...more than that.
-I don't know-Stateira shrugged-But, if it's true that he's so lonely, one more friend might mean a lot.
They smiled at each other, concern for their fate lurking beneath thin layer of calmness. Their lives changed forever and the only thing they could do was to pray; and Drypetis will try more than that.
How wishes and dreams play with us? Drypetis thought. She couldn't suppose that lieing down on the same bed would feel so different just in couple of hours. She stared at night and faint, burning dots.
The battle of emotions was taking place in her heart, threatening to take over her mind. Every detail of yesterday's encounter flashed through her remembrance, piercing thin line of her sanity, driving her mad. She didn't want to reduce herself to this-to mass of nerves that pulsed in love.
Drypetis recalled destiny of a poor noblewoman who lost her mind when her husband took another wife. Harem ladies retold this story again and again, at first being struck with such explosive outcome, but in the ended mocking the poor woman.
Still, she couldn't do anything but feel grateful for the act that saved her suspicious looks and pointing fingers; it would be a disaster for the Royal house, or for what remained of it. He thought of everything, she understood that; he saved them both. She only wondered what will he say to Alexandros, will he lie his beloved or say the simple truth.
Whatever her reason said, her heart defied. She couldn't not to peek in fractions of memory. Emotions were too hard; she had to close her eyes:
He is there, standing in front of her; she should just extend her arm and touch him, but she doesn't do anything. He looks handsome in his Persian outfit, whatever those barbarians say, and now she can remember how he looked like ten years ago. Her fingers brush over his oval face, lightly burnt in the sun, feeling long eyelashes, curves of coral red lips, the texture of firm, rounded chin. She drowns in azure depths again and again, the only support being curls of light brown main that dance around his face, falling on the wide forehead, its grown strands cascading on wide, muscular shoulders. And she clutches to them, with desperate urge for life, bringing his face closer to hers....
Soon, memories turned into dreams with skillful fingers of the Night.
* * *
He was seated in a carved, wooden chair at his desk, playing with a stylus, its pointing end digging into Hephaistion's index finger painfully, but he was deep in somber thoughts, beyond feeling. Parchments of papyrus were laying scattered on the desk, but the only one that kept his attention now was the one from his wife.
For almost two weeks he had absolutely no news of her. He could inquire, but he didn't care.
When he read that the letter was from his wife he thought she might have changed her mind, that it was a letter of a silent plea to come to her. His hopes were false, more than he could ever guessed, shamefully so. He felt like an adolescent awaiting the call of his first woman to visit her.
There were no humble words of a woman in it, no secret signs and double meanings of love a courtesan might write; it was an ordinary business letter he could get as likely from any steward of some land about the income and taxes. She wrote him about her estates she had right on, which was ratified by the king, about the income she gets from them, that they were in the Queen Mother's, Sysigambis' possession until her marriage, upon which they were passed on her. Until now he didn't even think his wife had any insight in economy at all! Now, she wanted to go to visit those estates and was asking permission from her husband, indicating that many royal women before her did that, like Artystone, wife of Dareios I and Parysatys wife of Dareios II.
Hephaistion read the message for tenth time, but it was only then that his mind registered fully her subtle call to inform her personally about his decision.
A barely visible, shy smile graced his lips for a moment. A narrow sun ray vibrated over his features and he could feel sudden rush of blood under sensitive skin and its deafening roar in cobalt blue of the veins.
In the morning that followed the wretched night, the white of Hephaistion's eyes turned into grey, marred by thin, red lines. The only desire he had was to see Alexandros, nothing more; and when their eyes met Alexandros understood everything, Hephaistion was sure of that, he just didn't say anything, only smiled and drew him into a soothing embrace. Hephaistion wanted to speak, to say his shame, to voice how useless and disappointing he is in one thing that only he could do, but his lover silenced him with his glance and a soft, light press of lips to his.
He could feel Stateira's taste on them and the world shattered in thousands of pieces, each holding the shame, tainting his soul. A familiar sting drew his eyes closed, but no tears escaped blue depths.
Again, he felt the same pain and let a hissing sigh through teeth clenched in determination. There was no turning back. Everything his lover needs he has to get.
Dusk hasn't set yet, when Hephaistion reached his wife's chambers and was surprised to see her sitting in a wide chair with knees pulled up, reading some scroll of papyrus absently. It took her some moments to see her husband standing in front of her.
-My lord, I didn't expect you that early.- Hephaistion read amazement in her shifting glance. Her voice trembled at the end, betraying her uneasiness. He didn't want to startle her.
-You begged me to come and tell you when I decide...-he tried to look controlled and calm, and he sensed her doing the the same.
-So, have you decided?- her voice was stable now; Hephaistion was grateful for that. He didn't really think of her request, but knew what will be his answer, anyway.
-You may visit your estates. You will have your army escort to keep you safe....I wish you safe journey...my lady.
His whole life was shaken and he didn't care where she would go. Were they in Makedonia, he would feel more protective of her, more stern and decisive. Then, she would be his wife, a sister of a friend of his, obedient and frail like a dove, her yes expressionless but for melancholy adorning them. And he wouldn't care about her, not more than any man of honor would. This girl he didn't even feel his, not even made his, but still wanted not to think of her at all when he couldn't help but do.
Hephaistion didn't see when she approached him, didn't feel her loosen hair caressing his arms.
-I hope I didn't ask too much.-her voice was humble and soft and Hephaistion found it didn't suit her, it was fony.
-No, you didn't.
Awkward silence stretched. He could see her hand squeezing something.
-This is yours.-she said finally, handing him back his clasp. The light played on it and for an instant he managed to see her bowed face reflected on the polished gold. She looked vulnerable.
-I wish you to keep it.-He despised himself, again. In two weeks he didn't sand her a gift, didn't even show a concern for her existence. For him she didn't exist. How long will he be able to deny it, to pretend and live in the past.
She looked at him, smiling. It was the first time he saw his bride smiling. He couldn't help, but smile back. Life seemed simple at that moment.
Before he could act, soft lips found its way to his, shyly, asking for permission to stay there. Hephaistion couldn't begrudge them such a sincere wish. He let them linger on his, not wanting to scare them. Elegant fingers trailed down his face and he enfolded her in his arms.
Not far away, Hephaistion was certain, his lover was with Stateira. Alexandros wished so much for their children to be cousins, but Hephaistion could still remember when they were youths...
...and that freezing night when their very breath died on the lips before released itself, when breathing tore into their lungs, more painfully than the stabs of barbarians swords, the night of an early spring. And more than deadly frost he could sense warmth of linen sheets under their aflame bodies. Two figures quivered in the dark mask of the night, dancing slowly to Aphrodite's blessing sound, lost in haze of devouring ardour. Trembling fingers praised firmness of rounding curves, which only Zeus could sculpt so sinful and faultless, drawing the maps of unknown world on white skin, leaving red marks like strokes of blood and watered wine on an offering to goddess of love. Eager mouth ran over thin, blue lines that wanted to burst with speed with which the fire was pumped into the heart, leaving the reason fight for its survival, condemned to crushing waves of joy. Kisses trailed slowly, but the fire lept high, taking them up to ride in its chariots like Phaeton in Helios' and like him be burnt into ashes. And then, suddenly, a gasp was heard, stiffening of a cry, mixture of pain and pleasure dying on the lips, a leap of heart felt under ardent skin, bringing them back to reality...
Was it then, or was it now?
Hephaistion couldn't tell. He only breathed deeply, closing his eyes tightly, not moving for what it seemed eternity and then succumbed to need older than human kind, than world itself, as old as the sun and stars.
He was lost in chasm of pleasure, not acknowledging its need to end, simply moving with desire to possess and give. He didn't see the eyes dark with bliss, like abyss of Hades, didn't feel form beneath his contracting for third time; he just kept diving and emerging from the waves of lust until he finally sank into them, letting the tide wash over him in its rhythmic moves.
He was so lost that he didn't hear both of them crying out the same name.
When only echo was what left of the song, Hephaistion folded the form next to him, for the first time that evening realizing the soft curves of breasts and long black hair, indistinguishable from the blakness of night, fanned over his face.
Alexandros was smiling on the edge of his consciousness and he smiled back.
THE END
NB:
Darajavahaush-Darius' (or of Darius)
Hshajathija Vazarka-the Great King
Hsjajathija Hshajathijanam- King of Kings
Hazarapatish-Vizier (chiliarch in Greek)
Hahamanishja- of Achamenide
Names are written as they are supposed to be in ancient Persian