(no subject)
i didn't think things could work out this well. i can't can't believe it. since my last entry things have completely reversed. we talked. he called me at 6am and at first we were overwhelmed to hear each other's voices for the first time in over a month. well, at least there was no coldness that i had been worried about. it became clear that above anything else we still wanted to be friends. we made a promise a long time ago to be friends unconditionally and to stay in each other's lives. we both meant it and we both still intend to keep it. we figured it wouldn't be easy, that we'd have to hang out less at first of course but we could still call each other whenever we needed to. we got more and more honest with each other and he feels the same way i do about love but not in love. we talked and joked and it was just easy and natural and god, that's what i had wished for all along. we agreed to see each other in person and talk more. this morning we went out for bagels and i told him all about spain and my crazy host mom and the spaniards i befriended and he told me about his weird summer experiences and how he's going to new york with our friend eli and he was doing much better. all was forgiven on both ends. its all falling into place. i know it still won't be easy. i know dating someone else wont be easy on him but he's already begun to come to terms with that. we'll be patient with each other. he understands why it all happened and so do i... the month apart really did the both of us good. we departed on really good terms. lots of hugs and plans to see each other again soon, maybe not until the end of the summer but we'll be back to listening to records again soon enough. it wasn't weird at all, i can't believe it!! i'm really way too happy about this. my biggest worry for the past month has been settled. neither of us are sad anymore and i'm really proud of myself and of him. we really did this well although we still need time, i know. at the end of all this, i know i still have my best friend.