"You Don't Know Me!" - Total Crack

[lastwordslinger]

Title: You Don’t Know Me!
Author: Jade Blood
Rating: R (language and subject matter)
Disclaimer: Heroes belongs to NBC and Kring. I'm just cracking it up.
Characters/Pairings: Peter, Caitlin, Elle, Noah, Matt, The Haitian, Ted, Niki, Nathan, Angela, Peter/Every Girl
Warnings: Spoilers for the new season, language, subject matter, and high doses of CRACK!
Summary: Today's topic on The Noah Bennet Show is cheating men...
Author's Note: This is crack, pure and simple. If you can't take a joke, don't read this.

In five, four, three...