FIC: "a model's just an imitation of the real thing" Nathan and Peter, Gen
Title: “a model's just an imitation of the real thing”
Authors: Kelly_girl and Skripka
Fandom: Heroes
Ratings: PG-13
Characters: Peter, Nathan, Claire, Mohinder
Disclaimer: Not ours, or this would be a two part sweeps episode. No money being made.
Warnings: Crack, pure undiluted crack
Notes: It must be something about late night messaging that brings out the crack ideas. It helps when your evil twin goes right along with it. Title from Mae West
Sequel to: ”I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.”
Summary: I think I just got to second base with myself.
Nathan cautiously opened Peter’s front door. He’d gotten a call this morning from Peter, but he’d had three meetings he couldn’t cancel. Now it was two in the afternoon and he had no clue what to expect. He didn’t see feathers and breathed a sigh of relief when no animal greeted him at the door. Nathan took a deep breath, smelled vanilla and frowned slightly. Had Peter been baking? When had Peter learned to bake?
The bedroom door was partially closed and when Nathan pushed it open he saw a young woman in light pink underwear, standing in front of Peter’s open closet. She looked up at him and Nathan turned away quickly. “Excuse me. Is Peter here?” It was awkward enough that Nathan knew Peter had sex -- in his mind, sometimes, Nathan couldn't get past the image of his six-year-old brother climbing the trees in the back yard-- but it was worse when he ran into Peter's half-naked dates.
There was a snicker from the woman, and Nathan realized that the door to Peter's bathroom was wide open--and the bathroom was empty. Nathan frowned and looked at the woman again. She had a vaguely unruly mop of dark hair and nearly golden eyes. Her eyebrows were thick but graceful and her lips were slightly crooked, especially in the smirk she was now sporting. Nathan's stomach sank. “Oh shit. Peter?”
The girl--woman--smiled and turned around in a circle. “Wild, hunh?”
Nathan closed his mouth and then opened it. He felt like a fish. “Peter, what the hell happened? Why are you a woman? How are you a woman? Why does this stuff happen to you? Do the people with freaky powers know where you live?” Nathan shut his mouth again, not sure he really wanted to know the answers to all his questions.
Peter (she--Peter--she reminded Nathan of someone he’d seen on television, but couldn't place) put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. It was such a Peter look. “I didn’t do this on purpose! Why do you always think that? I already called Mohinder--I think he’s starting to dread my calls--anyway, I called him and he said I should do what I did with the feathers.”
Peter turned back around, rifling through his--her closet and Nathan sat down on the bed. “What did you do? And why do you look familiar? Kind of like that woman who likes to play a lesbian.”
Peter laughed and it was light and almost musical. Nathan felt a headache starting to form. “Gina Gershon! You know, that woman that was kissing Jennifer Tilly in that movie!” He patted his hair. “I was thinking that too, but you confirmed it.”
Nathan waited for Peter to continue, but his brother seemed hypnotized by his appearance in the mirror. Nathan sighed. “What did Doctor Suresh say, Peter?”
Peter turned around and smiled. “Oh, he said that I used the wings and that helped them go away, so maybe if I tried and got used to being a woman, I’d go back to being a guy. I don’t think he really believed me, you know.” He turned back around and stared at himself some more. Jesus, how had Nathan not noticed how narcissistic his brother was? “He also said I could experience some mood changes since I have a lot of new hormones flooding my body and I’m experiencing things most women have years to get used to.”
Nathan made agreeing noises, while inwardly groaning. “Is that why you’re wearing matching underwear? And if you had that before you woke up a woman, don't tell me. I don’t want to know.”
Peter giggled and Nathan winced at the sound. “No, I did not have a matching pink bra and panties tucked away in one of my dresser drawers. I went to the Victoria's Secret around the corner this morning after I got off the phone with Mohinder. I bought a few things.”
He pointed to a bag on his bed but Nathan only eyed it and moved away from the pink paper. Peter gave him a half laugh and frown. “Am I not supposed to have matching underwear? Girls do that, right?”
Nathan rubbed his forehead. “Only in lingerie catalogs.” He hoped that didn’t send Peter off somewhere looking for one, or to the internet. “Or on first dates, or weddings.”
Now, Peter was staring at him in fascination. “How do you know that? Why do you know that?”
Nathan smirked and rolled his eyes. “Married, remember? Also, Heidi was hardly my first long term girlfriend.”
Peter sent him a devilish look that had Nathan thankful he didn’t grow up with a younger sister. “Do you think she’d help me with my hair?”
“Why do you need help? You look fine. Somehow, I don’t think hair tips will help you become a guy again.” Nathan had a sudden, horrifying thought. “You do want to be a guy again, right?” He had no clue what he’d do if Peter said no.
“Yes, Nathan, I want to be a man again. But what if I’m stuck like this for days? Or even weeks? I’m not going to go around with weird hair.” He poked at his hair. “And it looks weird. Shouldn’t it be shinier? And bouncier? Those hair commercials for women always have lots of bouncy hair.”
Nathan pinched his nose and muttered, “I’m getting a headache.” He sighed and spoke up. “Heidi’s busy with the boys. Why don’t you call Claire instead?”
Peter pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and stared at his feet. If he said something about nail polish, Nathan was leaving. Peter buttoned his pants, and Nathan breathed a quiet prayer of thanks. “Yeah, yeah, I can call Claire. We can go shopping for shoes.”
“Ha, yeah, and then you two can have a spa day or whatever they call it. Do you have any scotch?” Nathan watched in dawning horror as Peter turned around so he could see his butt in the mirror.
“Do these jeans make my ass look fat?”
Nathan decided that a strategic retreat was the best thing. In the kitchen he grabbed ice and the bottle of liquor from above the fridge while Peter laughed in his room. His brother, who was now his sister, probably asked him that on purpose. Peter had always enjoyed making Nathan uncomfortable. It wasn’t like Peter was going to stop now that he had this huge arsenal of things he could now ask and say. Nathan took a large swallow, grimacing at the burn, and went back to the bedroom doorway to glare at Peter. He pointed a finger at him.
“You’re enjoying this too much. Oh, and I’m not taking you anywhere. The last thing I need is to have my co-workers or some reporter see us together and take a picture.”
There was an actual twinkle in Peter’s eyes as he rolled them again at Nathan. “Oh, chill out. Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like?” He turned to face Nathan and grabbed his breasts and squeezed. “Look! I have my own set to play with. Isn’t that neat?”
“I’m married, Peter. I can touch breasts pretty much whenever I want to.” Nathan fervently ignored Peter and his breasts that probably needed more coverage than the pink bra was currently providing.
Peter snorted. “Yeah, right. And if Heidi has a headache or something?” He looked at his breasts and squeezed again, then snorted. “I think I just got to second base with myself.”
Nathan took another large gulp of his drink. Peter was too busy feeling himself up to comment. This had to be some bizarre episode of ‘The Twilight Zone.’ “Oh my fucking god, what are you doing?”
Peter smiled dreamily and said. “No wonder women don’t need men. This feels pretty good.”
Nathan shut his eyes and wished for a blindfold. “I’m not watching this.” The only response he got was silence, but he was not going to be fooled and open his eyes.
A few seconds later Peter said, “Oh, calm down. I’m not going to get naked in front of you or anything.”
Nathan spoke through his clenched jaw. “You’re masturbating.”
Peter’s high pitched, “What?!” had Nathan opening his eyes, despite a voice in his head begging him not to do it. Peter’s hands were no longer caressing his breasts. “That wasn’t masturbating! That was... um, experimenting. You have a dirty mind, Nathan.”
Nathan gestured at Peter’s body with his glass. “You were groping yourself!”
Peter made vague motions at his body, but didn’t touch himself. “Well, it’s still new! I mean, come on! They’re right there. How can I not touch them?” He looked down at his chest and poked at some of the flesh peeking from behind the lace. “How do women even get out of the house with these things to play with? Seriously, I may need help.”
Nathan managed to turn his laugh into a cough. “Why aren’t you more freaked out?”
Peter plucked through t-shirts, holding one after another up before pushing them back into the drawer. “I had my freak out this morning.I mean, I wake up and go to reach for my dick and guess what? It’s gone.How am I supposed to get up and go about my day without some nice morning time with my…” He looked at Nathan and coughed. “Anyway, I panicked and got angry and maybe I even cried. It wasn’t pretty, so I won’t give you a replay.”
Nathan nodded in silent sympathy. Just like he couldn’t imagine waking up with wings, he really couldn’t imagine waking up without his penis. He’d have to give Peter some credit--Nathan would probably still be crying. “Are you really going shoe shopping?”
Peter put on a black t-shirt and Nathan had to admit he didn't look half bad. Kind of hot in a so-very-not-right-to-be-thinking-about way. Not that he’d ever share that thought with Peter. This whole deal was strange enough.
Peter sat on the bed. “Yes. I mean, I just want to go shopping. I’m not going to buy shoes.” He looked at his feet. “No more than two pairs.” He perked up and flashed Nathan a smile. “Are you going to give me a lecture?” At Nathan’s confused look, Peter continued. “You’re my big brother. Shouldn’t you be giving me a lecture about men and what dogs they are?”
Nathan sat on the bed and put his glass on the floor. “Peter? I hate to break it to you, but you are a guy. You know exactly what type of dogs we are.”
“I can tell right now who gets to have the ‘talk’ with Claire.”
Nathan groaned. “I hope to God it’s Bennet.”
Peter stood up, his face red and furious. “I called you for support! Why can’t you do that?” He wiped at his face and his eyes frantically met Nathan’s. “Oh, God. Am I crying?” Nathan blinked, stunned, and wondered if he could make it out the door while Peter rubbed his eyes and muttered, “What the hell?”
Nathan was proud of his skill at saying the right thing at the right time, but sometimes that ability failed him big time. “Do I need to buy you chocolate and Midol?” He thought about it and declared, “You can buy your own tampons!”
Peter backed away, eyes wide, and shook his head. He ignored the hair that fell in his face. “Call Mohinder back right now. I am not going through this!” He rubbed his hands on his jeans and took a deep breath. “I’m going out to buy stuff and I am taking my niece with me. Then we will eat and flirt with guys.” He paused and Nathan bit his lip trying not to laugh. Peter flushed and started over. “I’ll watch her flirt with guys and I’ll flirt with girls.”
Suddenly, Peter brightened up and a look of wonder came over his face. “I can flirt with women! Lesbians! Hot lesbians! Wow, I have breasts and they’ll have breasts.”
Nathan had pulled out his cell phone but paused and let out a groan. “Try not to traumatize my daughter by making out with a woman in front of her.”
Peter waved an airy hand at him. He was once again looking at himself in the mirror. “Oh, she’ll be fine. Claire's more resilient than you know. Hmm, that’s a lot of breasts. I wonder if it’ll be like that porn movie you used to have?”
Nathan put his cell phone back in his pocket without calling Doctor Suresh. He looked at Peter. “Wait, you knew about my porn stash?”
Peter laughed and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to flop around his face attractively. “Please. I found it the two times you moved it, too. You have considerably conservative porn. It’s kind of scary.”
“Porn is porn," Nathan shrugged and considered another drink. "What's in your porn stash?”
Peter giggled and Nathan shuddered. He was never ever going to get used that sound. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I wonder if any women I meet will let me make out with them? Am I supposed to wait and let them make the first move?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “Do I look like someone who knows about the dating habits of women who date women? Besides, I don’t think Claire knows where any hot lesbian bars are.”
“This is New York, they’re probably all over the place.” Peter stopped smiling and squinted at him. “Are you sulking? What happened to ‘I’m married, I can touch breasts whenever I want?’”
Peter's mood changed again as he moved to his bathroom, slightly frowning in concentration. “I wonder what’s a good pick-up line to use on women if you’re a woman? It’s not like I can tell them, ‘I’m only going to be a woman for a short while. I’m usually a guy, but let’s make out like crazed weasels.’”
Nathan scratched his head. Peter was looking at himself in the mirror again. “I’m going to call Doctor Suresh. Maybe he has more sedatives.”
Peter’s eyes met his in the mirror. “Are you saying you’d rather I have wings than breasts?”
Nathan sighed. He was tired and he hadn’t even been here half an hour. “Can we stop talking about your breasts? And that is something I never thought I would have to say to my brother.”
He ignored Peter’s laugh and called Mohinder. He ended up leaving a message-- and hoped he didn't sound too desperate. Maybe Doctor Suresh was screening calls from the Petrellis. Nathan wouldn't blame him. He silently watched as Peter found a pair of shoes that fit and called Claire. He grimaced at their conversation and agreement to meet in a few minutes.
“Why is she taking this whole thing in stride?” Nathan felt insane, like everyone else understood something he didn’t. Perhaps everyone else had gone insane and he had been too busy to notice.
Peter puckered his lips and made kissing noises at the mirror. “Oh, I called her earlier. Do you have any idea how hard it is to put on a bra? Harder than taking one off, I tell you. I almost strangled myself. Also, being able to stick your ribs back in your body gives you a pretty open outlook on life. Did you want to go with us?”
Nathan looked up, hoping God would, at that moment, help him out. “No, I don’t want to go with you. You shouldn’t be going out at all. What if someone tries to grab you? Do you even know what to do?”
Peter slipped money and keys into his jeans. “I’m a woman, Nathan, not an idiot.”
Nathan gave up trying to convince Peter to stay at home until this new power wore off. He went downstairs with Peter and watched him hail a cab.
Nathan paced up and down the sidewalk for all of thirty seconds before catching another cab and telling it to follow the one his brother was in. Nathan winced at the bad spy movie dialogue, but just shoved a twenty at his driver to shut him up.
For the next two hours, he followed Peter and Claire as they went from store to store, laughing and chatting. It seemed like they were having a really good time. Far too many men were checking them out, and Nathan decided that having to worry about his daughter and his brother should count as hazard pay.
Of course, the problem was that Claire was from Texas, and Peter was so used to being a guy, that they didn't notice when the muggers grabbed their arms and pushed them into an alley. Nathan was on the other side of the street, too conscious of the crowds around him to just take off, so he ended up running into the street, dodging cars, cabs and delivery trucks which blocked his view.
Nathan groaned in frustration when he reached the other side, hoping that he wasn't too late, then heard an answering shout from the alley. He ran through the crowd, earning himself plenty of cursing and a couple of bruised shins. He made it into the alley just as the blonde mugger grabbed Peter’s arms.
Nathan slid to a stop as Peter kneed the guy in the balls and knocked the other one against the brick wall with his telekinesis. The men backed away and stumbled out of the alley and into the crowd. Peter picked up his bags and stood back up. "Wow, Nathan. You really are over-protective." He smirked and continued, “I told you I could handle myself. Did you see that knee move? Pretty cool.”
Claire and Nathan looked at each other before turning back to Peter. Nathan pointed towards Peter’s chest wordlessly. Claire bit her lip.
Peter looked down and said, “They’re gone! Aw man! Crap! What am I going to do with all the Victoria’s Secret stuff?” He shook the shoe bag. “And these shoes?”
Claire sniggered and Nathan slung an arm around Peter’s shoulders, thankfully male and familiar again, and begged, “Whatever you decide, Peter, please--never tell me.”
The End.
Authors: Kelly_girl and Skripka
Fandom: Heroes
Ratings: PG-13
Characters: Peter, Nathan, Claire, Mohinder
Disclaimer: Not ours, or this would be a two part sweeps episode. No money being made.
Warnings: Crack, pure undiluted crack
Notes: It must be something about late night messaging that brings out the crack ideas. It helps when your evil twin goes right along with it. Title from Mae West
Sequel to: ”I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.”
Summary: I think I just got to second base with myself.
Nathan cautiously opened Peter’s front door. He’d gotten a call this morning from Peter, but he’d had three meetings he couldn’t cancel. Now it was two in the afternoon and he had no clue what to expect. He didn’t see feathers and breathed a sigh of relief when no animal greeted him at the door. Nathan took a deep breath, smelled vanilla and frowned slightly. Had Peter been baking? When had Peter learned to bake?
The bedroom door was partially closed and when Nathan pushed it open he saw a young woman in light pink underwear, standing in front of Peter’s open closet. She looked up at him and Nathan turned away quickly. “Excuse me. Is Peter here?” It was awkward enough that Nathan knew Peter had sex -- in his mind, sometimes, Nathan couldn't get past the image of his six-year-old brother climbing the trees in the back yard-- but it was worse when he ran into Peter's half-naked dates.
There was a snicker from the woman, and Nathan realized that the door to Peter's bathroom was wide open--and the bathroom was empty. Nathan frowned and looked at the woman again. She had a vaguely unruly mop of dark hair and nearly golden eyes. Her eyebrows were thick but graceful and her lips were slightly crooked, especially in the smirk she was now sporting. Nathan's stomach sank. “Oh shit. Peter?”
The girl--woman--smiled and turned around in a circle. “Wild, hunh?”
Nathan closed his mouth and then opened it. He felt like a fish. “Peter, what the hell happened? Why are you a woman? How are you a woman? Why does this stuff happen to you? Do the people with freaky powers know where you live?” Nathan shut his mouth again, not sure he really wanted to know the answers to all his questions.
Peter (she--Peter--she reminded Nathan of someone he’d seen on television, but couldn't place) put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. It was such a Peter look. “I didn’t do this on purpose! Why do you always think that? I already called Mohinder--I think he’s starting to dread my calls--anyway, I called him and he said I should do what I did with the feathers.”
Peter turned back around, rifling through his--her closet and Nathan sat down on the bed. “What did you do? And why do you look familiar? Kind of like that woman who likes to play a lesbian.”
Peter laughed and it was light and almost musical. Nathan felt a headache starting to form. “Gina Gershon! You know, that woman that was kissing Jennifer Tilly in that movie!” He patted his hair. “I was thinking that too, but you confirmed it.”
Nathan waited for Peter to continue, but his brother seemed hypnotized by his appearance in the mirror. Nathan sighed. “What did Doctor Suresh say, Peter?”
Peter turned around and smiled. “Oh, he said that I used the wings and that helped them go away, so maybe if I tried and got used to being a woman, I’d go back to being a guy. I don’t think he really believed me, you know.” He turned back around and stared at himself some more. Jesus, how had Nathan not noticed how narcissistic his brother was? “He also said I could experience some mood changes since I have a lot of new hormones flooding my body and I’m experiencing things most women have years to get used to.”
Nathan made agreeing noises, while inwardly groaning. “Is that why you’re wearing matching underwear? And if you had that before you woke up a woman, don't tell me. I don’t want to know.”
Peter giggled and Nathan winced at the sound. “No, I did not have a matching pink bra and panties tucked away in one of my dresser drawers. I went to the Victoria's Secret around the corner this morning after I got off the phone with Mohinder. I bought a few things.”
He pointed to a bag on his bed but Nathan only eyed it and moved away from the pink paper. Peter gave him a half laugh and frown. “Am I not supposed to have matching underwear? Girls do that, right?”
Nathan rubbed his forehead. “Only in lingerie catalogs.” He hoped that didn’t send Peter off somewhere looking for one, or to the internet. “Or on first dates, or weddings.”
Now, Peter was staring at him in fascination. “How do you know that? Why do you know that?”
Nathan smirked and rolled his eyes. “Married, remember? Also, Heidi was hardly my first long term girlfriend.”
Peter sent him a devilish look that had Nathan thankful he didn’t grow up with a younger sister. “Do you think she’d help me with my hair?”
“Why do you need help? You look fine. Somehow, I don’t think hair tips will help you become a guy again.” Nathan had a sudden, horrifying thought. “You do want to be a guy again, right?” He had no clue what he’d do if Peter said no.
“Yes, Nathan, I want to be a man again. But what if I’m stuck like this for days? Or even weeks? I’m not going to go around with weird hair.” He poked at his hair. “And it looks weird. Shouldn’t it be shinier? And bouncier? Those hair commercials for women always have lots of bouncy hair.”
Nathan pinched his nose and muttered, “I’m getting a headache.” He sighed and spoke up. “Heidi’s busy with the boys. Why don’t you call Claire instead?”
Peter pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and stared at his feet. If he said something about nail polish, Nathan was leaving. Peter buttoned his pants, and Nathan breathed a quiet prayer of thanks. “Yeah, yeah, I can call Claire. We can go shopping for shoes.”
“Ha, yeah, and then you two can have a spa day or whatever they call it. Do you have any scotch?” Nathan watched in dawning horror as Peter turned around so he could see his butt in the mirror.
“Do these jeans make my ass look fat?”
Nathan decided that a strategic retreat was the best thing. In the kitchen he grabbed ice and the bottle of liquor from above the fridge while Peter laughed in his room. His brother, who was now his sister, probably asked him that on purpose. Peter had always enjoyed making Nathan uncomfortable. It wasn’t like Peter was going to stop now that he had this huge arsenal of things he could now ask and say. Nathan took a large swallow, grimacing at the burn, and went back to the bedroom doorway to glare at Peter. He pointed a finger at him.
“You’re enjoying this too much. Oh, and I’m not taking you anywhere. The last thing I need is to have my co-workers or some reporter see us together and take a picture.”
There was an actual twinkle in Peter’s eyes as he rolled them again at Nathan. “Oh, chill out. Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like?” He turned to face Nathan and grabbed his breasts and squeezed. “Look! I have my own set to play with. Isn’t that neat?”
“I’m married, Peter. I can touch breasts pretty much whenever I want to.” Nathan fervently ignored Peter and his breasts that probably needed more coverage than the pink bra was currently providing.
Peter snorted. “Yeah, right. And if Heidi has a headache or something?” He looked at his breasts and squeezed again, then snorted. “I think I just got to second base with myself.”
Nathan took another large gulp of his drink. Peter was too busy feeling himself up to comment. This had to be some bizarre episode of ‘The Twilight Zone.’ “Oh my fucking god, what are you doing?”
Peter smiled dreamily and said. “No wonder women don’t need men. This feels pretty good.”
Nathan shut his eyes and wished for a blindfold. “I’m not watching this.” The only response he got was silence, but he was not going to be fooled and open his eyes.
A few seconds later Peter said, “Oh, calm down. I’m not going to get naked in front of you or anything.”
Nathan spoke through his clenched jaw. “You’re masturbating.”
Peter’s high pitched, “What?!” had Nathan opening his eyes, despite a voice in his head begging him not to do it. Peter’s hands were no longer caressing his breasts. “That wasn’t masturbating! That was... um, experimenting. You have a dirty mind, Nathan.”
Nathan gestured at Peter’s body with his glass. “You were groping yourself!”
Peter made vague motions at his body, but didn’t touch himself. “Well, it’s still new! I mean, come on! They’re right there. How can I not touch them?” He looked down at his chest and poked at some of the flesh peeking from behind the lace. “How do women even get out of the house with these things to play with? Seriously, I may need help.”
Nathan managed to turn his laugh into a cough. “Why aren’t you more freaked out?”
Peter plucked through t-shirts, holding one after another up before pushing them back into the drawer. “I had my freak out this morning.I mean, I wake up and go to reach for my dick and guess what? It’s gone.How am I supposed to get up and go about my day without some nice morning time with my…” He looked at Nathan and coughed. “Anyway, I panicked and got angry and maybe I even cried. It wasn’t pretty, so I won’t give you a replay.”
Nathan nodded in silent sympathy. Just like he couldn’t imagine waking up with wings, he really couldn’t imagine waking up without his penis. He’d have to give Peter some credit--Nathan would probably still be crying. “Are you really going shoe shopping?”
Peter put on a black t-shirt and Nathan had to admit he didn't look half bad. Kind of hot in a so-very-not-right-to-be-thinking-about way. Not that he’d ever share that thought with Peter. This whole deal was strange enough.
Peter sat on the bed. “Yes. I mean, I just want to go shopping. I’m not going to buy shoes.” He looked at his feet. “No more than two pairs.” He perked up and flashed Nathan a smile. “Are you going to give me a lecture?” At Nathan’s confused look, Peter continued. “You’re my big brother. Shouldn’t you be giving me a lecture about men and what dogs they are?”
Nathan sat on the bed and put his glass on the floor. “Peter? I hate to break it to you, but you are a guy. You know exactly what type of dogs we are.”
“I can tell right now who gets to have the ‘talk’ with Claire.”
Nathan groaned. “I hope to God it’s Bennet.”
Peter stood up, his face red and furious. “I called you for support! Why can’t you do that?” He wiped at his face and his eyes frantically met Nathan’s. “Oh, God. Am I crying?” Nathan blinked, stunned, and wondered if he could make it out the door while Peter rubbed his eyes and muttered, “What the hell?”
Nathan was proud of his skill at saying the right thing at the right time, but sometimes that ability failed him big time. “Do I need to buy you chocolate and Midol?” He thought about it and declared, “You can buy your own tampons!”
Peter backed away, eyes wide, and shook his head. He ignored the hair that fell in his face. “Call Mohinder back right now. I am not going through this!” He rubbed his hands on his jeans and took a deep breath. “I’m going out to buy stuff and I am taking my niece with me. Then we will eat and flirt with guys.” He paused and Nathan bit his lip trying not to laugh. Peter flushed and started over. “I’ll watch her flirt with guys and I’ll flirt with girls.”
Suddenly, Peter brightened up and a look of wonder came over his face. “I can flirt with women! Lesbians! Hot lesbians! Wow, I have breasts and they’ll have breasts.”
Nathan had pulled out his cell phone but paused and let out a groan. “Try not to traumatize my daughter by making out with a woman in front of her.”
Peter waved an airy hand at him. He was once again looking at himself in the mirror. “Oh, she’ll be fine. Claire's more resilient than you know. Hmm, that’s a lot of breasts. I wonder if it’ll be like that porn movie you used to have?”
Nathan put his cell phone back in his pocket without calling Doctor Suresh. He looked at Peter. “Wait, you knew about my porn stash?”
Peter laughed and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to flop around his face attractively. “Please. I found it the two times you moved it, too. You have considerably conservative porn. It’s kind of scary.”
“Porn is porn," Nathan shrugged and considered another drink. "What's in your porn stash?”
Peter giggled and Nathan shuddered. He was never ever going to get used that sound. “Wouldn’t you like to know? I wonder if any women I meet will let me make out with them? Am I supposed to wait and let them make the first move?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “Do I look like someone who knows about the dating habits of women who date women? Besides, I don’t think Claire knows where any hot lesbian bars are.”
“This is New York, they’re probably all over the place.” Peter stopped smiling and squinted at him. “Are you sulking? What happened to ‘I’m married, I can touch breasts whenever I want?’”
Peter's mood changed again as he moved to his bathroom, slightly frowning in concentration. “I wonder what’s a good pick-up line to use on women if you’re a woman? It’s not like I can tell them, ‘I’m only going to be a woman for a short while. I’m usually a guy, but let’s make out like crazed weasels.’”
Nathan scratched his head. Peter was looking at himself in the mirror again. “I’m going to call Doctor Suresh. Maybe he has more sedatives.”
Peter’s eyes met his in the mirror. “Are you saying you’d rather I have wings than breasts?”
Nathan sighed. He was tired and he hadn’t even been here half an hour. “Can we stop talking about your breasts? And that is something I never thought I would have to say to my brother.”
He ignored Peter’s laugh and called Mohinder. He ended up leaving a message-- and hoped he didn't sound too desperate. Maybe Doctor Suresh was screening calls from the Petrellis. Nathan wouldn't blame him. He silently watched as Peter found a pair of shoes that fit and called Claire. He grimaced at their conversation and agreement to meet in a few minutes.
“Why is she taking this whole thing in stride?” Nathan felt insane, like everyone else understood something he didn’t. Perhaps everyone else had gone insane and he had been too busy to notice.
Peter puckered his lips and made kissing noises at the mirror. “Oh, I called her earlier. Do you have any idea how hard it is to put on a bra? Harder than taking one off, I tell you. I almost strangled myself. Also, being able to stick your ribs back in your body gives you a pretty open outlook on life. Did you want to go with us?”
Nathan looked up, hoping God would, at that moment, help him out. “No, I don’t want to go with you. You shouldn’t be going out at all. What if someone tries to grab you? Do you even know what to do?”
Peter slipped money and keys into his jeans. “I’m a woman, Nathan, not an idiot.”
Nathan gave up trying to convince Peter to stay at home until this new power wore off. He went downstairs with Peter and watched him hail a cab.
Nathan paced up and down the sidewalk for all of thirty seconds before catching another cab and telling it to follow the one his brother was in. Nathan winced at the bad spy movie dialogue, but just shoved a twenty at his driver to shut him up.
For the next two hours, he followed Peter and Claire as they went from store to store, laughing and chatting. It seemed like they were having a really good time. Far too many men were checking them out, and Nathan decided that having to worry about his daughter and his brother should count as hazard pay.
Of course, the problem was that Claire was from Texas, and Peter was so used to being a guy, that they didn't notice when the muggers grabbed their arms and pushed them into an alley. Nathan was on the other side of the street, too conscious of the crowds around him to just take off, so he ended up running into the street, dodging cars, cabs and delivery trucks which blocked his view.
Nathan groaned in frustration when he reached the other side, hoping that he wasn't too late, then heard an answering shout from the alley. He ran through the crowd, earning himself plenty of cursing and a couple of bruised shins. He made it into the alley just as the blonde mugger grabbed Peter’s arms.
Nathan slid to a stop as Peter kneed the guy in the balls and knocked the other one against the brick wall with his telekinesis. The men backed away and stumbled out of the alley and into the crowd. Peter picked up his bags and stood back up. "Wow, Nathan. You really are over-protective." He smirked and continued, “I told you I could handle myself. Did you see that knee move? Pretty cool.”
Claire and Nathan looked at each other before turning back to Peter. Nathan pointed towards Peter’s chest wordlessly. Claire bit her lip.
Peter looked down and said, “They’re gone! Aw man! Crap! What am I going to do with all the Victoria’s Secret stuff?” He shook the shoe bag. “And these shoes?”
Claire sniggered and Nathan slung an arm around Peter’s shoulders, thankfully male and familiar again, and begged, “Whatever you decide, Peter, please--never tell me.”
The End.