{31} addressing things [voice post]

[hero_of_dark]

Oi, Shou.

I'd like to speak with you relatively soon. In person, if possible.

And I mean actually speak with you as in a real conversation, not just a passing few lines out of one or both of us

Comments

[eightgemmaster]

[Johan jerks awake, sitting up from where he was napping, looks around quickly, then relaxes, though is still shaky.]

Dream...dream...[mutter] Nightmare.

[hero_of_dark]

..........

Johan...

Nightmare like what, if you don't mind describing...?

[eightgemmaster]

[Johan straightens up some, takes in a few deep breaths.]

I...well... [It's still vivid in his mind, just the thought of actually saying it is just...argh...] It was...

[hero_of_dark]

...You don't have to if it was that bad.

[He goes up to Johan and embraces him in an attempt to be comforting.]

You've never had nightmares before as far as I know, but... hopefully it won't happen again.

[eightgemmaster]

[He leans against Juudai.

I...it wasn't too bad...in the sense of being ...um...well, actually it was kind of terrifying... [He has no words to describe this. Who could? But he tries. Maybe talking will get it out of his head.]

It...had him in it...

[hero_of_dark]

...........

That explains a lot...

[Juudai holds him a bit tighter, stroking his hair affectionately.]

...God, I just wish I could've prevented what happened... then you wouldn't have had to suffer like that, or continue to suffer now...

[eightgemmaster]

He's responsible for his own actions, Juudai. He doesn't have to be...like he is. [Johan takes a deep breath, trying to find the words.] He wasn't hurting me like he usually does... [Johan winces slightly, the fact he can even say "like he usually does" has its own brand of pain.] It wasn't scaring me because of that...

[hero_of_dark]

Yeah, but it's like the consequences of those actions simply aren't reaching him... or maybe they are, but they just aren't affecting him, he's just so detached from everything.

...I still regret not preventing it like I probably should've.

Well... what, then...?

[eightgemmaster]

[Johan is silent for a brief while, trying to put it all together properly in his head before he says anything.]

I dreamed...that something...I don't even know what it was...had more or less turned on all of his hormones at the same time...utterly unleashed his libido...

I told him once he should get a sex life...

Well...that's exactly what happened.

[hero_of_dark]

.............

Johan...

[Juudai hesitates, unsure what to say.]

...I wish I knew how to make all of this just stop, honestly...

[eightgemmaster]

[Johan leans in more closely and is quiet for a while, before letting out a small laugh. It's not quite like his usual cheerful laugh, but it's got a small touch of rueful humor in it.] If that dream was anything like what he'd really be like...not only do you not have the slightest bit of competition, but I kind of feel sorry for him if he ever actually does that with someone. He hardly knew anything.

[hero_of_dark]

...Hopefully if he does do that with someone, it won't be for a while yet anyway.

Well... you'd tell me if he was doing anything like that to you behind my back, right?

[eightgemmaster]

[Johan nods at once] I think he'd be disgusted at the very thought of doing that with me, though. [Minor shudder, considering in the dream, AU!Judai was not disgusted at all and was, in fact, quite eager.]

[hero_of_dark]

...God, I hope so. For any version of me to do something like that to any version of you... there's something very, very wrong with that.

[eightgemmaster]

Sex without love...no.

Making love to you ...or the Juudai in my world...yes.

[Johan's voice is full of all the love he does have for Juudai when he says that "yes"]

[hero_of_dark]

I know.

[Juudai smiles warmly at that last part, shifting to lie back comfortably with Johan still in his arms.]

Well... that dream won't ever become a reality. Not as long as I can help it.