Aeryn didn't even realise he was there until he was there. There was no need to be alert here. The sims had been exhausting and she was ready to go back to her room, but she never expected to see him. How long had it been?
Since before she left...almost seven monens. She wasn't ready for this. She couldn't do this.
But she would and she had to. She took a breath and opened her mouth to speak, raising her head to look at him. But she just kept breathing, trying to find the words.
He fumbled with his lighter, finally getting it to turn on, but managing to drop the cigarette. He grabs it off the floor and tilts his head at her. "Uh...how, how are you?"
He looks like someone's hit him, she noted softly, eyes following the cigarette up and down. Perhaps he was hoping she would never return.
Breathe damn it. The shock that wouldn't fade. The fear that you'll never fall again. Just a few microts more and she could gather her courage, her composure. Just a few microts more.
Smoke. Pretend. Be awkward around me, but then...this is what we are. A shadow of a memory; something that never was.
She bit the inside of her mouth. It tasted like blood, but she hadn't done it that hard. Copper. Blood. Metal.
Boots on metal. "It's never going to work." Aeryn leaned her elbows against the wall. Next to him, close enough to be real for once. Near enough to be more than a phantom who could break him with a single word.
Aeryn scraped at the faded wallpaper underneath her fingernails, turning her head at an uncomfortable angle to look at him.
She inhaled a shallow, shaky breath through her nose. Too quiet to hear, the sound of failing hope. Ebony eyelashes rested on suddenly pale cheeks as she smothered everything she was feeling. Her jaw clenched but the words came out clear.
These are the words he hates. He hates them no matter who says them.
Jack, we need to talk. I've been having an affair/Jack, we need to talk. You have to go find your father
It always ends up in pain, pain he doesn't know how to heal. Pain he doesn't know how to fix, and it tears at him till he can't take it anymore. And people wonder why he wants to save everyone?
It's because he can't save himself.
But he nods, resolute and stony. "Yeah. I guess we do."
She had to stop wanting them to save each other. She could claim she never knew it would hurt this much...but no, she knew. Her resolve was ice, but he could melt it in an instant. If only he wanted to.
Aeryn knew she was safe from that at least.
"I can't --" There was a pregnant pause, in which it became clear she was nowhere near as together as she seemed. But she kept stumbling on, learning how be numb again.
The soldier continued.
"I won't be able to see you for a while." Dull the pain, deaden the words with hollow tones.
Since before she left...almost seven monens. She wasn't ready for this. She couldn't do this.
But she would and she had to. She took a breath and opened her mouth to speak, raising her head to look at him. But she just kept breathing, trying to find the words.
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He fumbled with his lighter, finally getting it to turn on, but managing to drop the cigarette. He grabs it off the floor and tilts his head at her. "Uh...how, how are you?"
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Breathe damn it. The shock that wouldn't fade. The fear that you'll never fall again. Just a few microts more and she could gather her courage, her composure. Just a few microts more.
"Hey."
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He slides the cigarette back into the box, fumbling slightly again. "How are you?" he asks again, looking up at her quickly.
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Smoke. Pretend. Be awkward around me, but then...this is what we are. A shadow of a memory; something that never was.
She bit the inside of her mouth. It tasted like blood, but she hadn't done it that hard. Copper. Blood. Metal.
Boots on metal. "It's never going to work." Aeryn leaned her elbows against the wall. Next to him, close enough to be real for once. Near enough to be more than a phantom who could break him with a single word.
"It's been a while."
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He tosses the cigarette pack back and forth in his hands for a moment. "A few weeks...for me, at least. Islanding."
That's a verb. Yes.
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Aeryn scraped at the faded wallpaper underneath her fingernails, turning her head at an uncomfortable angle to look at him.
She inhaled a shallow, shaky breath through her nose. Too quiet to hear, the sound of failing hope. Ebony eyelashes rested on suddenly pale cheeks as she smothered everything she was feeling. Her jaw clenched but the words came out clear.
"We should talk."
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Jack, we need to talk. I've been having an affair/Jack, we need to talk. You have to go find your father
It always ends up in pain, pain he doesn't know how to heal. Pain he doesn't know how to fix, and it tears at him till he can't take it anymore. And people wonder why he wants to save everyone?
It's because he can't save himself.
But he nods, resolute and stony. "Yeah. I guess we do."
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She had to stop wanting them to save each other. She could claim she never knew it would hurt this much...but no, she knew. Her resolve was ice, but he could melt it in an instant. If only he wanted to.
Aeryn knew she was safe from that at least.
"I can't --" There was a pregnant pause, in which it became clear she was nowhere near as together as she seemed. But she kept stumbling on, learning how be numb again.
The soldier continued.
"I won't be able to see you for a while." Dull the pain, deaden the words with hollow tones.
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He can't keep being so emotionally unstable. "Oh. Okay."
It'd be nicer if she shot him right now.
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Her lower lips moved. Not even enough movement to be called a shake, tense with the effort of not making any noise beyond even breathing.
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She looked away at that, folding her arms over her chest.
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Angry was better than nothing at all.
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