TM 326: "Mourning is just extended self-pity"
Mourning is selfish. Clark knows this. He’s been through it enough times to know that when something is lost it doesn’t care. Sometimes, they never did to begin with, as abstract as those things can be. And if they’re people, well, then they’re usually dead and the dead don’t mourn. The dead don’t grieve. A relationship doesn’t know it’s broken beyond repair, that a love that once was can never be again.
But is it pity? Clark doesn’t think so. For the people left behind mourning may be selfish, but it’s necessary. It’s part of the healing process, he’s come to accept, and in those cases, well, you have to be a little selfish. Because if you’re not, you’ll go crazy. You’ll end up losing yourself and more often than not, that’s worse than losing whatever it was you lost to begin with.
So Clark allows himself to mourn the things and people he’s had to let go of over the years, to grieve for anything and everything that was important to him that he no longer has, or never had to begin with. It helps. Eventually.
But in doing so, you also have to take stock of what you still have, appreciate what’s still around you. Especially the people who are there to help with your grief. Dwelling isn’t good for anyone, no matter what it is that was lost. Another lesson he’s had to learn the hard way. At least he’s learned it.
Mourn. Grieve. Accept. Move on. But never forget.
But is it pity? Clark doesn’t think so. For the people left behind mourning may be selfish, but it’s necessary. It’s part of the healing process, he’s come to accept, and in those cases, well, you have to be a little selfish. Because if you’re not, you’ll go crazy. You’ll end up losing yourself and more often than not, that’s worse than losing whatever it was you lost to begin with.
So Clark allows himself to mourn the things and people he’s had to let go of over the years, to grieve for anything and everything that was important to him that he no longer has, or never had to begin with. It helps. Eventually.
But in doing so, you also have to take stock of what you still have, appreciate what’s still around you. Especially the people who are there to help with your grief. Dwelling isn’t good for anyone, no matter what it is that was lost. Another lesson he’s had to learn the hard way. At least he’s learned it.
Mourn. Grieve. Accept. Move on. But never forget.