Why Can't Everything Turn Out Like We Want It To?
Everything just goes wrong for me around christmas. Atleast it feels like it.
I can't keep this in anymore. My feelings are just so many that it feels like I'm gonna throw up.
It feels like I'm going back to "depressed-time" again. Ooh.. I don't want too! But, it's just.. AAH,. I don't want to be depressed. But, it feels like I'm slowing, slowing falling from an edge, and nobody is there to pick me up and rescue me. And that's what I need. Someone to rescue me from this. I need someone that I can talk to, that'll be there for me, that'll make me feel better.
Why can't my friends be like that? Or does that only accure in movies and television shows? It just feels like... Like, Everybody has got someone, but I've got no one. And, YES, I know that's not true, I have friends. But.. Nobody that I can talk to about THINGS. My life, my emotions. I need to be a little selfish. I'm always thinking about everybodys elses feelings, so I never think of mine.. Maybe I need to think about my BEST, my EMOTIONS. My feelings. My needs. Maybe I need to do that..
Christmas is the worst time of the year for me. I hate christmas.
I need to force myself in to some weird kind of "christmas-mood". I hate that. everybody is so "jolly & happy" and here i am, all sad and broken.
i don't want to feel this anymore, so.. I'll probably post all my feelings here, 'cause I'm a person that releases my feelings by writing. Cause then, the message can't come out wrong. Only in MY words, and of course the RIGHT words.
If ANY of my friends are reading this, PLEASE.. I'm asking you, ask me alot more how I'm feeling. It feels like.. Crap. Totally big horse crap.
Luzz.