(no subject)
I've been thinking abut my life path lately, and have come to a peculiar realization. As a C'han Buddhist, with seriously Taoistic tendencies (which is, I suppose, a redundancy of terms), I believe that we must follow our inner nature to attain enlightenemnt and a release from the wheel of samsara. At the same time, I respect the traditions of India, China, and Japan that brought this wisdom to me. However, I am in no way attracted to the lifestyle of a devout C'han Buddhist (odd to use the term "devout" for a non-Christian religion, but I suspect that that is cultural bias) except in the sense of Taoist eccentircs reading and reciting poetry to the moon, as opposed to sitting in meditation for hours on end and doing other such things. So I am presented with the realization that, to be most in tune with the Tao, I should stop trying to force myself into uncomfortable patterns of behavior and stick to my good-natured Nero Wolfishness and general Victorian academic tendencies. It's a very tricky thing to get at, though: I tend to mistake cosmetic appearance for real meaning, at least when it comes to religions and philosophies I believe in. Sigh. The spiritual and intellectual life can be rigorous, but thank the good goddess it's fun.