too much all at once
i dunno, way too much has been happening lately to handle. lets see, there is that huge thing with me being stuck in the middle of everything, anyway you place it i am suck between a rock and a heartplace which makes everything very confusing and it is not fair that i have to explain my choices and actions to everyone, newsflash! it is MY life to live, so let me live it without questioning my every move PLEASE!!! yes, i hear what everyone is telling me and i understand that so many ppl think i am making a mistake. . . but i don't and you kno what if you do turn out to be right and i wrong then i will never do what i think is right again. . . so moving on, my mom has gone outta whack, constantly yelling and such, especially after the 16th, which was the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death from cancer, this was my moms mother so i can understand somewhat, so i try and stay out of her way when possible then my dad comes up to my room to "talk" to me and ask why i am always sectioning myself off from everyone and why i am always in my room, is it such a crime to want to be left alone?!?!?! i like my room, i like being in it, enough said and if he hasn't realized i am trying to avoid being verbally attacked by everyone else in the house b/c i seem to be such an easy target for everyone to lash out on. . . .so anyway he thinks there is something wrong with me and won't let me be!!!! seriously every 5 seconds comes in to try and communicate with me, it is seriously driving me up a tree!!! This weekend hasn't been too great either, friday spent babysitting that my sister dragged me into doing, i ended up going home an hour and a half later then i planned, then yesterday i was dragged everywhere first my sister wakes me up and says i HAVE to go with her to the florist to get a flower thingy for her junior prom that night and i had 30 minutes to get ready, of course she can't go anywhere alone, urg! after that my mother dragged me to my grandfather's apartment to attempt to organize it, a way beyound lost cause b/c even if an atom bomb went off in there it would make it look better, anyway i wanted to go home and be outside b/c it was beautiful then my mother proceeds to scream at me and says if i want to go home so bad that i should go walk home, so i did b/c i couldn't stand staying there with her. i get home and my dad trys to get me to tell him everything once again, then my sister starts freaking out and saying that i had to paint her nails for her, i do, so then go to pick up the flower thingy that she had ordered that morning, i get bac and my dad drags me to the market. then when i get bac my mother came home and yelled at me to walk the dogs, clean my room, do the dishes and my laundry, of course i wasn't able to finish. last night i didn't come outta my room, and for good reason and my dad starts trying to "talk" to me AGAIN!!! at this point i was about to pull out my hair!! then today i was dragged out to go on a bike ride with my dad and bro, i came bac hot, sweaty and gross which was lovely and i went to the shower as fast as possible, so yea that leads me to now. . . . fainally getting to sit alone, in my room and not have to do five million things for everyone else. . . . oh and goodie!!! i still have homework to do and then bac to that hell of a school tomorrow for another joyfull week!!!! i can hardly wait. . . . . . .