Today sucked bad...
I was SO excited, because I thought I'd be moving to a new house. Currently, I live in the projects, so I can't even paint my walls the color I want. Anyways, today was the home inspection for the house my mom was going to buy. I was so excited yet nervous about today. Anyways, I found out that it had WAY too many problems. It was so horrible. It would actually be a hazard to live in there or even go into the attic! I wanted the house so freakin' bad!!! I thought I was definitely going to be moving into it by October, but I'm not going to move at all! :'( I was even crying. Ugh. I am so fuckin' depressed. I even wanted to kill myself before, even though that sounds like a foolish thing to kill yourself over. My coffee that I'm drinking now helped me a bit, so I guess that's why I still don't feel like killing myself. Coffee always makes me happier.
I probably sound like a total moron right now. Ugh.
In the car, my mom asked me if I ever truly feel like killing myself, or if I just say I do. I lied, even when she asked me to promise. I just can't tell her. I'm worried that she'll think I'm nuts. Ugh. I'm also worried that she'll be worried or something. I just couldn't tell her the truth in the car. I've wanted to tell her the truth, but I'm so afraid. I was not comfortable enough to tell her in the car today. Maybe I'll tell her a while from now. I don't know. I'm so freakin' afraid.
I probably sound like a total moron right now. Ugh.
In the car, my mom asked me if I ever truly feel like killing myself, or if I just say I do. I lied, even when she asked me to promise. I just can't tell her. I'm worried that she'll think I'm nuts. Ugh. I'm also worried that she'll be worried or something. I just couldn't tell her the truth in the car. I've wanted to tell her the truth, but I'm so afraid. I was not comfortable enough to tell her in the car today. Maybe I'll tell her a while from now. I don't know. I'm so freakin' afraid.