Okay, okay...
I realize my lj has been pretty emo recently, this'll be the last post I'll post in a while.
I've sort of realized, I don't really miss it, persay. I miss knowing that I'm important to at least one person. While it lasted, we couldn't even really talk more than once or twice a week, and that's counting online. It was really passive, but it was the idea of knowing that I was at least thought of by someone. The reassurance that if I died, there'd be at least one person that would have a crappy day. Or hell, the idea that I will most likely never see her again, that is plainly fucking scary. I don't want to ever not see her again, or anyone that I've met at CTY. I won't accept that I'll never see Jay's fro. Or Gus' flowing mane. Or Julia's glasses.
Though I'll never see them in the same context, I will see them again. I will see her again. That is probably the saddest thing I've come to realize recently, that I may just lose contact with people. I... I dunno. I don't know, if the relationship won't exist, I'd at least like to have the assurance that in the future, she'll have a bad day when I die. I'd like to stay at least that close.
God damn, I'm one emo-sonuvabitch. I hope no one reads this.
I've sort of realized, I don't really miss it, persay. I miss knowing that I'm important to at least one person. While it lasted, we couldn't even really talk more than once or twice a week, and that's counting online. It was really passive, but it was the idea of knowing that I was at least thought of by someone. The reassurance that if I died, there'd be at least one person that would have a crappy day. Or hell, the idea that I will most likely never see her again, that is plainly fucking scary. I don't want to ever not see her again, or anyone that I've met at CTY. I won't accept that I'll never see Jay's fro. Or Gus' flowing mane. Or Julia's glasses.
Though I'll never see them in the same context, I will see them again. I will see her again. That is probably the saddest thing I've come to realize recently, that I may just lose contact with people. I... I dunno. I don't know, if the relationship won't exist, I'd at least like to have the assurance that in the future, she'll have a bad day when I die. I'd like to stay at least that close.
God damn, I'm one emo-sonuvabitch. I hope no one reads this.