[Monday]
One of my friends recently complained that I quote back passages in emails rather than just paraphrasing. It's not even always in the context of arguing -- it's often just in the context of clarifying, of "you said (that someone else said) such-and-such ... which doesn't seem to match what you're telling me now."
My instinct is that it's far more precise to quote than to paraphrase (I am forever pulling up emails, etc. when on the phone to Ari telling stories to her). My friend said it feels like having a conversation with themselves rather than with me, which I can see -- though I have a strong desire to be understood as well as to understand, so I would want to have the opportunity to clarify someone's understanding of what I said, and knowing exactly what it is that I said that they're reacting to seems the most efficient way to do that.
I'm open to disagreement, though. Does verbatim quoting-back imply SRS BSNS disagreement and thus come across as really off-putting in casual emailing? Given my particular history with this particular person, I can point to a number of negative associations that my quoting-back-at-you could trigger, but I just assume that most of the folks I interact with intuitively understand this default mode.
***
Being at church (incl. post-service fellowship) was really good for me yesterday. Being at work this morning, though, I was back to being tired and cranky. Partly I think because one of my first things was going over to the Security Center per an email over the weekend saying, "Your wallet was found and turned over to the Security Center," and having the guy there go, "The police have it… you can call 5-1215, that's the non-emergency number … they're at 1080 Mass. Ave."
Though then at like 10:30 a woman from the Harvard police called to tell me they'd recovered my wallet (she didn't know if anyone had notified me) and she was actually gonna be driving over to talk to me and find out what actually got recovered in terms of the contents of the wallet.
I've replaced a lot of the cards, but hey, I have a whole bunch of gift cards back. (I forgot how many pockets that wallet had and how much stuff I had shoved into it -- on the theory of, "But what if I'm out somewhere and need it.")
***
At lunch, MikeS had a banana, and Laura said something about how she just has to choke those down, doesn't really like them.
Yes of course my mind went THERE, but I wasn't gonna say anything, but Mike started laughing (apparently Paul -- sitting across from him and not in my immediate line of vision -- had been smirking), at which point I started laughing.
Then she said went on to say that it's a texture thing, y'know, like yogurt or pudding, and Mike busted out laughing again and (to my credit?) I hadn't thought that until he started laughing. I enjoy when other people leap right into the gutter right with me.
And apparently lunch was good for me, too (even though at one point I was curbing a violent impulse) 'cause I felt in significantly better spirits when I got back after lunch and that stayed through the rest of the day. (I feel like I'm turning into an extrovert or something -- recharging from being around people -- which is just weird, and not true.)
***
The afternoon mail included a package for me, and at first I assumed it was my book from Lorraine, so I was confused that the address had been corrected by the mailroom ('cause Lorraine has my correct office address) -- and then I registered the return address (our SF hotel), and was confused anew. 'Twas a nice little notebook as a thank you. Heh.
***
B commented on my vase of dead roses, said they looked like something Edward in Twilight would have. I laughed, and he asked if I was familiar with the Twilight books. I said, "I have heard of them, but I've also heard they're not very good, so I haven't actually read them" (only I said something about literary quality or something because my brain did not provide a normal person phrase like "I've heard they're not very good," and I was totally wincing internally when I was saying it 'cause I didn't actually want to be all pretentious "I read only high-quality literature" -- I do usually defend the quality of whatever texts I'm consuming, but I don't actually think it's a poor reflection on someone to enjoy the junk food equivalent of texts).
He sort of made a face and said we wouldn't get into that discussion. I said something like, "Oh, does your wife read them? Am I insulting your wife?"
He said, "My wife wrote those books."
I said, "Your wife's a former Mormon named Stephenie Meyer?"
He was like, "Oh..."
Yes, I do try to be at least a minimum of informed about everything.
[Except it occurred to me later that duh, Stephenie Meyer is still a Mormon. Oops.]
***
Speaking of knowing everything, a prospective student called this afternoon wanting information about a class in our department ("a required class for the second year" -- haha, it can be "required" or it can be a second-year course, but at this school the two are mutually exclusive) at 8:40 in the morning this Wednesday. I have no idea how Admissions assigned her to sit in on a class without providing her with, for example, the name of the class. As far as I could tell, no one in our department was teaching in the slot, so ultimately I sent her back to Admissions.
After I told Sara the story (she and I also talked another time today about how I tend to know everything -- because people expect me to and so then I make an effort to, and so it's a cycle), she said: "I'll remember that -- I'll be sure to hit you up if there are any questions that no one else in my life can answer."
***
"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [ more info]
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine
-"You Are Mine" (David Haas)
Five good things about today:
1. getting my wallet back (with gift cards I'd forgotten even having)
2. catching up on LJ, I learned that Ari writes really good prayers
3. I got an opportunity to explain myself about something (possibly the person I was explaining it to thinks I am defensive and long-winded and need to get over my self-justifying tendencies, but I'm glad to have had [and taken] the opportunity)
4. muskratjamboree continues to entertain
5. being in good spirits for most of the day
Three things I did well today:
1. [gym] 45min treadmill (I tried the Forest Track with max speed 5.0mph and max incline 3.0)
2. the concept of poly came up over lunch, and I did what I could to explain that yes it can be done in a healthy way with mutual agreement and understanding and negotiation (athene, I use you and lordaerith as an example of a married+poly couple who have been together for quite some time, and where the woman is as into it -- if not more so -- than the man)
3. the abovementioned explanatory email -- I was really calm and didn't feel defensive (jury's still out on how I came across)
Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. I get to go straight home after work, for the second day in a row.
2. Housemate says she is going to do dishes tomorrow night. Having a sink not full of dishes please me on multiple levels!
My instinct is that it's far more precise to quote than to paraphrase (I am forever pulling up emails, etc. when on the phone to Ari telling stories to her). My friend said it feels like having a conversation with themselves rather than with me, which I can see -- though I have a strong desire to be understood as well as to understand, so I would want to have the opportunity to clarify someone's understanding of what I said, and knowing exactly what it is that I said that they're reacting to seems the most efficient way to do that.
I'm open to disagreement, though. Does verbatim quoting-back imply SRS BSNS disagreement and thus come across as really off-putting in casual emailing? Given my particular history with this particular person, I can point to a number of negative associations that my quoting-back-at-you could trigger, but I just assume that most of the folks I interact with intuitively understand this default mode.
***
Being at church (incl. post-service fellowship) was really good for me yesterday. Being at work this morning, though, I was back to being tired and cranky. Partly I think because one of my first things was going over to the Security Center per an email over the weekend saying, "Your wallet was found and turned over to the Security Center," and having the guy there go, "The police have it… you can call 5-1215, that's the non-emergency number … they're at 1080 Mass. Ave."
Though then at like 10:30 a woman from the Harvard police called to tell me they'd recovered my wallet (she didn't know if anyone had notified me) and she was actually gonna be driving over to talk to me and find out what actually got recovered in terms of the contents of the wallet.
I've replaced a lot of the cards, but hey, I have a whole bunch of gift cards back. (I forgot how many pockets that wallet had and how much stuff I had shoved into it -- on the theory of, "But what if I'm out somewhere and need it.")
***
At lunch, MikeS had a banana, and Laura said something about how she just has to choke those down, doesn't really like them.
Yes of course my mind went THERE, but I wasn't gonna say anything, but Mike started laughing (apparently Paul -- sitting across from him and not in my immediate line of vision -- had been smirking), at which point I started laughing.
Then she said went on to say that it's a texture thing, y'know, like yogurt or pudding, and Mike busted out laughing again and (to my credit?) I hadn't thought that until he started laughing. I enjoy when other people leap right into the gutter right with me.
And apparently lunch was good for me, too (even though at one point I was curbing a violent impulse) 'cause I felt in significantly better spirits when I got back after lunch and that stayed through the rest of the day. (I feel like I'm turning into an extrovert or something -- recharging from being around people -- which is just weird, and not true.)
***
The afternoon mail included a package for me, and at first I assumed it was my book from Lorraine, so I was confused that the address had been corrected by the mailroom ('cause Lorraine has my correct office address) -- and then I registered the return address (our SF hotel), and was confused anew. 'Twas a nice little notebook as a thank you. Heh.
***
B commented on my vase of dead roses, said they looked like something Edward in Twilight would have. I laughed, and he asked if I was familiar with the Twilight books. I said, "I have heard of them, but I've also heard they're not very good, so I haven't actually read them" (only I said something about literary quality or something because my brain did not provide a normal person phrase like "I've heard they're not very good," and I was totally wincing internally when I was saying it 'cause I didn't actually want to be all pretentious "I read only high-quality literature" -- I do usually defend the quality of whatever texts I'm consuming, but I don't actually think it's a poor reflection on someone to enjoy the junk food equivalent of texts).
He sort of made a face and said we wouldn't get into that discussion. I said something like, "Oh, does your wife read them? Am I insulting your wife?"
He said, "My wife wrote those books."
I said, "Your wife's a former Mormon named Stephenie Meyer?"
He was like, "Oh..."
Yes, I do try to be at least a minimum of informed about everything.
[Except it occurred to me later that duh, Stephenie Meyer is still a Mormon. Oops.]
***
Speaking of knowing everything, a prospective student called this afternoon wanting information about a class in our department ("a required class for the second year" -- haha, it can be "required" or it can be a second-year course, but at this school the two are mutually exclusive) at 8:40 in the morning this Wednesday. I have no idea how Admissions assigned her to sit in on a class without providing her with, for example, the name of the class. As far as I could tell, no one in our department was teaching in the slot, so ultimately I sent her back to Admissions.
After I told Sara the story (she and I also talked another time today about how I tend to know everything -- because people expect me to and so then I make an effort to, and so it's a cycle), she said: "I'll remember that -- I'll be sure to hit you up if there are any questions that no one else in my life can answer."
***
"Joy Sadhana is a daily practice in the observation of joy."
-mylittleredgirl [ more info]
Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow Me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine
-"You Are Mine" (David Haas)
Five good things about today:
1. getting my wallet back (with gift cards I'd forgotten even having)
2. catching up on LJ, I learned that Ari writes really good prayers
3. I got an opportunity to explain myself about something (possibly the person I was explaining it to thinks I am defensive and long-winded and need to get over my self-justifying tendencies, but I'm glad to have had [and taken] the opportunity)
4. muskratjamboree continues to entertain
5. being in good spirits for most of the day
Three things I did well today:
1. [gym] 45min treadmill (I tried the Forest Track with max speed 5.0mph and max incline 3.0)
2. the concept of poly came up over lunch, and I did what I could to explain that yes it can be done in a healthy way with mutual agreement and understanding and negotiation (athene, I use you and lordaerith as an example of a married+poly couple who have been together for quite some time, and where the woman is as into it -- if not more so -- than the man)
3. the abovementioned explanatory email -- I was really calm and didn't feel defensive (jury's still out on how I came across)
Two things I am looking forward to (doing [better]) tomorrow:
["anything that you're looking forward to, that means you're facing tomorrow with joy, not trepidation," as Ari says]
1. I get to go straight home after work, for the second day in a row.
2. Housemate says she is going to do dishes tomorrow night. Having a sink not full of dishes please me on multiple levels!