In Loving Memory
I heard shoes shuffle over the threshold of the door and tensed, anticipating some hostile movements. I couldn’t quite see properly, but could tell it was a man, and as I watched he snuck into the living room, obviously assuming I was still in there, since the television was blaring and the blankets hadn’t lost their shape yet. He looked around when got there, seeing that I wasn’t still on the couch and probably wary that I was hiding from him somewhere in the very same room, which was in essence what I was doing. I snuck closer behind him, deciding to see what he was planning on doing next before doing anything major, and as I did, I heard him say in a harsh whisper, “Tanny? Where’d you go?” I recognized the voice instantly: it was Uncle Charles! I felt incredibly stupid, and I slackened my grip, the bat falling loosely to my side. Apparently I had become a lot jumpier than I had thought. I took a step forward and the floorboards creaked loudly, causing my uncle to whip around quickly and let out a visible sigh of relief when he saw it was just me.
“Geez, you really scared me there for a second! I thought maybe you had been kidnapped or something, or ran away! It didn’t look like anyone was here, other than your car out front,” he said, walking over to give me a quick hug. My brain was still jammed, hung up on the fact that I had been so stupid, and it took me a few minutes to ask what had been on my mind for so long.
“You didn’t happen to see a car sitting across the road did you? With someone sitting the back seat?”
He looked back and me and frowned, trying to figure out whether I was trying to scare him more or was being serious. After a few seconds, he replied, “No, I don’t think there was any car outside on the road when I pulled in the driveway, let alone someone sitting in the backseat. Didn’t look like there had been a car there for a while. Why?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. There was one out there earlier and I couldn’t tell if they were having car trouble or not. I just wondered if it was still sitting out there, that’s all.”
“Nope, everything’s in order out there,” he said, looking concernedly at me. He knew that I had lots of nightmares, and probably was attributing my seeming paranoia to one, which I guess it technically was. Even if the car had been sitting out there and I hadn’t imagined that part, who’s to say I didn’t imagine the person sitting in the backseat. I wasn’t entirely sure I had seen something there myself, so it was probably just an overreaction, something that would wear away and fade from memory given enough time.
I leaned the bat carefully in the corner of the room and went to turn the sound on the TV down. I felt much better now that I wasn’t alone and the car wasn’t still maintaining vigil out on the street. Finally I felt calm enough to relax and put some of the day’s events out of my mind. It’s not always easy to do when you’re alone, but I found things are always better when there is someone else there with you that you trust, even if they don’t know what had happened to you over the course of the day. It made me feel more in control. The sound of the television now at a more acceptable lever, I wandered to the kitchen, which was the direction I had seen Uncle Charles heading after my questions. I found him mumbling quietly to himself, head in the refrigerator, looking through all the food and trying to decide what we could have for dinner that night. For some reason, there always seemed to be an intense stockpile of food in our house. I guess we’re set if we ever get snowed in or are unable to leave the house for some reason. We could probably successfully sustain ourselves for a year at any given point in time. He heard me coming and looked over, smiling at me, and then reached back in and grabbed a package of pork chops. “I thought I’d cook you your favorite meal today, seeing as you didn’t make yourself anything and given what day tomorrow is,” he frowned sympathetically, and then my mind caught up with the rest of my body and I jolted slightly. That’s right. The next day was the 15th anniversary of my parent’s deaths. I couldn’t believe I had gone all day and hadn’t thought about it once. I felt like a horrible child, and my stomach churned. No wonder I had been in such a mood all day, and no wonder the nightmare was more intense than usual. It all made sense now, and I massaged my temples once again. I suddenly felt as if I could sleep for years, if I could ever fall asleep without dreaming.
I looked up into my uncle’s face and saw him looking at me worriedly. I pulled a smile that felt more like a grimace, and nodded slightly, “That’d be great, thanks.” As he began preparing the food, I went back to sit on the couch and think for a little while. I had a lot of planning to do for the next day, and needed to get started on it as soon as possible.
“Geez, you really scared me there for a second! I thought maybe you had been kidnapped or something, or ran away! It didn’t look like anyone was here, other than your car out front,” he said, walking over to give me a quick hug. My brain was still jammed, hung up on the fact that I had been so stupid, and it took me a few minutes to ask what had been on my mind for so long.
“You didn’t happen to see a car sitting across the road did you? With someone sitting the back seat?”
He looked back and me and frowned, trying to figure out whether I was trying to scare him more or was being serious. After a few seconds, he replied, “No, I don’t think there was any car outside on the road when I pulled in the driveway, let alone someone sitting in the backseat. Didn’t look like there had been a car there for a while. Why?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. There was one out there earlier and I couldn’t tell if they were having car trouble or not. I just wondered if it was still sitting out there, that’s all.”
“Nope, everything’s in order out there,” he said, looking concernedly at me. He knew that I had lots of nightmares, and probably was attributing my seeming paranoia to one, which I guess it technically was. Even if the car had been sitting out there and I hadn’t imagined that part, who’s to say I didn’t imagine the person sitting in the backseat. I wasn’t entirely sure I had seen something there myself, so it was probably just an overreaction, something that would wear away and fade from memory given enough time.
I leaned the bat carefully in the corner of the room and went to turn the sound on the TV down. I felt much better now that I wasn’t alone and the car wasn’t still maintaining vigil out on the street. Finally I felt calm enough to relax and put some of the day’s events out of my mind. It’s not always easy to do when you’re alone, but I found things are always better when there is someone else there with you that you trust, even if they don’t know what had happened to you over the course of the day. It made me feel more in control. The sound of the television now at a more acceptable lever, I wandered to the kitchen, which was the direction I had seen Uncle Charles heading after my questions. I found him mumbling quietly to himself, head in the refrigerator, looking through all the food and trying to decide what we could have for dinner that night. For some reason, there always seemed to be an intense stockpile of food in our house. I guess we’re set if we ever get snowed in or are unable to leave the house for some reason. We could probably successfully sustain ourselves for a year at any given point in time. He heard me coming and looked over, smiling at me, and then reached back in and grabbed a package of pork chops. “I thought I’d cook you your favorite meal today, seeing as you didn’t make yourself anything and given what day tomorrow is,” he frowned sympathetically, and then my mind caught up with the rest of my body and I jolted slightly. That’s right. The next day was the 15th anniversary of my parent’s deaths. I couldn’t believe I had gone all day and hadn’t thought about it once. I felt like a horrible child, and my stomach churned. No wonder I had been in such a mood all day, and no wonder the nightmare was more intense than usual. It all made sense now, and I massaged my temples once again. I suddenly felt as if I could sleep for years, if I could ever fall asleep without dreaming.
I looked up into my uncle’s face and saw him looking at me worriedly. I pulled a smile that felt more like a grimace, and nodded slightly, “That’d be great, thanks.” As he began preparing the food, I went back to sit on the couch and think for a little while. I had a lot of planning to do for the next day, and needed to get started on it as soon as possible.