bleh.
i got high yesterday.
just a little. two hits from a smokeless pipe, with sam.
i got high last saturday after being clean for over a year.
it looks like i'm going to have 3 b's at the end of the semester, with my mother riding my ass(not literally) and i have finals coming up that could potentially make my grades plummet.
it feels like i've been pigging out the last 2 weeks, and i feel really unhealthily bloated. i'm not going to "diet" but i definitely need some work on my body.
i havent been reading my bible as often as i'd like. it seems like most of my freetime is going towards walking around downown or just sitting and watching buffy. i have no motivation to study, but i know i need to. i have no motivation to read or learn some new guitar theory even though i need to. i feel pressed for time and spread thin, simply because i'm lazy.
it feels like im losing contact with some of my closest friends, and now i have one less, as of yesterday.
and julian was almost gone.
just goes to show that i can't count on anything or anyone fully. i can count on coffee; it will always be there to soothe me and talk to me and fill me with joy. much like god....but coffee is tangible.
idk. i just feel so powerless.
i dont think it will ever go away.
just a little. two hits from a smokeless pipe, with sam.
i got high last saturday after being clean for over a year.
it looks like i'm going to have 3 b's at the end of the semester, with my mother riding my ass(not literally) and i have finals coming up that could potentially make my grades plummet.
it feels like i've been pigging out the last 2 weeks, and i feel really unhealthily bloated. i'm not going to "diet" but i definitely need some work on my body.
i havent been reading my bible as often as i'd like. it seems like most of my freetime is going towards walking around downown or just sitting and watching buffy. i have no motivation to study, but i know i need to. i have no motivation to read or learn some new guitar theory even though i need to. i feel pressed for time and spread thin, simply because i'm lazy.
it feels like im losing contact with some of my closest friends, and now i have one less, as of yesterday.
and julian was almost gone.
just goes to show that i can't count on anything or anyone fully. i can count on coffee; it will always be there to soothe me and talk to me and fill me with joy. much like god....but coffee is tangible.
idk. i just feel so powerless.
i dont think it will ever go away.