on being solidly entrenched in my middle-thirties
I turned 36.
So far, not bad. (And yes, whenever I say something like that I feel like metaphysically ducking.)
One of my best friends flew up to spend the weekend with me, which is a wonderful, wonderful gift. It's been a full day of friends, and food, laughter, and books, and complimentary shots of sake for the entire house because it was my birthday and that's apparently how the Japanese restaurant (traditions are meant to be observed!) where we had dinner rolls.
I am pleasantly exhausted. Tomorrow I'll deal with things like replying to all the birthday good wishes and returning phone calls, emails, and Facebook posts. Today, I was running around and didn't get more than a few moments of down-time, which is hard.
As for the higher perspective on life and whatnot... I feel glad to be this age. I'm a little at a loss about some things--although I try not to have expectations, per se, I wonder (and perhaps worry) a bit about not having a spouse, about my careers, about how I'm building my community, about my family, blood and heart. I try not to measure by other people's rubrics, but sometimes there's an insidious little voice that whispers comparisons invidious and not kind. I don't wonder what's wrong with me--I sincerely don't think that anything really is, besides the common pettinesses that besmirch us all; nothing fundamental--but I do sometimes compare myself to my imaginary mental map of my life as I imagined it when I was younger and go, what the fuck?
But I'm continuing to become the person I've been becoming and, on the whole, I like me.
And that's about as good as anyone can ask, and I am cool with that.
So far, not bad. (And yes, whenever I say something like that I feel like metaphysically ducking.)
One of my best friends flew up to spend the weekend with me, which is a wonderful, wonderful gift. It's been a full day of friends, and food, laughter, and books, and complimentary shots of sake for the entire house because it was my birthday and that's apparently how the Japanese restaurant (traditions are meant to be observed!) where we had dinner rolls.
I am pleasantly exhausted. Tomorrow I'll deal with things like replying to all the birthday good wishes and returning phone calls, emails, and Facebook posts. Today, I was running around and didn't get more than a few moments of down-time, which is hard.
As for the higher perspective on life and whatnot... I feel glad to be this age. I'm a little at a loss about some things--although I try not to have expectations, per se, I wonder (and perhaps worry) a bit about not having a spouse, about my careers, about how I'm building my community, about my family, blood and heart. I try not to measure by other people's rubrics, but sometimes there's an insidious little voice that whispers comparisons invidious and not kind. I don't wonder what's wrong with me--I sincerely don't think that anything really is, besides the common pettinesses that besmirch us all; nothing fundamental--but I do sometimes compare myself to my imaginary mental map of my life as I imagined it when I was younger and go, what the fuck?
But I'm continuing to become the person I've been becoming and, on the whole, I like me.
And that's about as good as anyone can ask, and I am cool with that.