IBARW: constant vigilance
So how do I see color?
Vividly.
A person walks down the street, I automatically take in their color, the shape and color of their eyes, the color and texture of their hair, the timbre of their voice, their stature, all those and a myriad other things and make quick-fire assessment of their racial/ethnic background.
Her? East African, probably Ethiopian or Eritrean. Didn't you see that mahogany undertone to her skin color, and notice the shape of her face?, and her hair--West and South Africans don't have that kind of hair as a general rule... and not at that length.
Him? Please, if he were any more French, he'd be smacking you upside the head with a baguette and laughing at Jerry Lewis movies. Olive skin, dark hair, green eyes? And that shrug? Definitely from the south of France.
Hmmm. I'd say she's Filipina. Tiny, dark brown, and solid build. Oh, yeah--listen to the speech pattern.
Etc., etc., etc.
Give me half a chance, and I'll reconstruct your ancestral tree in my imagination. The fact that I'm usually right when I ask people what their backgrounds are? No, that does nothing to discourage it.
Tons and tons, of tiny little boxes, oh so comfortably labelling people in my head.
X means this, Y means that, and Z means look for A, B and C before deciding.
We're built to sort, to categorize, to judge. That's how our minds work.
The trouble, of course, is when we start tossing on unsupported beliefs, opinions, and judgments onto those categories. If I look at a man walking down the street towards me, I notice him. I take in how he's dressed, his demeanor, the number of people on the street... all these things, in order to determine if, in these uncertain times and this oh so sketchy Mission Street, he's likely to be a threat. Perfect sense to do that. Couple hundred thousand years on the savannah will do that to a species. That's okay.
What's not okay is when I take his color into account and privilege it beyond its own salience. That is, if I react more strongly because he's black or east Asian (or what have you), solely because he is that, then unless I've got other damn good (and probably extraordinary) reasons for doing so, my reaction is prejudiced. And that--while oh so human--is lazy analysis, and not only morally/ethically wrong, but logically wrong, too.
Doesn't mean I don't sometimes do it. It's hard not to be influenced by the trends and ideas that have been prevalent for so long in our society.
But because I'm already so aware of the minute observation and categorization that's going on in my head, I can remind myself that I'm doing it. Hello, you're categorizing people based on a few seconds worth of data--remember to reassess with each new data set.
What brought this kind of mental sorting about? Like so many other things in my life, it was my upbringing. Latinos come in every color, and my extended family runs the gamut from blond, rosy, and blue to black, red chocolate, and black. So figuring out why my cousins look the ways they do really helped trained my eye on details. Then, the place where I grew up, with its Mexicans, Okies, Portuguese, Armenians, Hmong, Serbians, Assyrians, black folk, Vietnamese, Punjabis, Italians, and everyone else--that fed my curiosity.
At this point? It's an exercise in analysis, a way to count coup against my own skills of observation and the bugbears of my prejudices.
Being aware of color, of seeing it, vividly, and letting it be only one aspect of the whole... that, I feel, is the goal.
Colorblindness is not only unattainable, it's undesirable, in my opinion.
More on that tomorrow.
Vividly.
A person walks down the street, I automatically take in their color, the shape and color of their eyes, the color and texture of their hair, the timbre of their voice, their stature, all those and a myriad other things and make quick-fire assessment of their racial/ethnic background.
Her? East African, probably Ethiopian or Eritrean. Didn't you see that mahogany undertone to her skin color, and notice the shape of her face?, and her hair--West and South Africans don't have that kind of hair as a general rule... and not at that length.
Him? Please, if he were any more French, he'd be smacking you upside the head with a baguette and laughing at Jerry Lewis movies. Olive skin, dark hair, green eyes? And that shrug? Definitely from the south of France.
Hmmm. I'd say she's Filipina. Tiny, dark brown, and solid build. Oh, yeah--listen to the speech pattern.
Etc., etc., etc.
Give me half a chance, and I'll reconstruct your ancestral tree in my imagination. The fact that I'm usually right when I ask people what their backgrounds are? No, that does nothing to discourage it.
Tons and tons, of tiny little boxes, oh so comfortably labelling people in my head.
X means this, Y means that, and Z means look for A, B and C before deciding.
We're built to sort, to categorize, to judge. That's how our minds work.
The trouble, of course, is when we start tossing on unsupported beliefs, opinions, and judgments onto those categories. If I look at a man walking down the street towards me, I notice him. I take in how he's dressed, his demeanor, the number of people on the street... all these things, in order to determine if, in these uncertain times and this oh so sketchy Mission Street, he's likely to be a threat. Perfect sense to do that. Couple hundred thousand years on the savannah will do that to a species. That's okay.
What's not okay is when I take his color into account and privilege it beyond its own salience. That is, if I react more strongly because he's black or east Asian (or what have you), solely because he is that, then unless I've got other damn good (and probably extraordinary) reasons for doing so, my reaction is prejudiced. And that--while oh so human--is lazy analysis, and not only morally/ethically wrong, but logically wrong, too.
Doesn't mean I don't sometimes do it. It's hard not to be influenced by the trends and ideas that have been prevalent for so long in our society.
But because I'm already so aware of the minute observation and categorization that's going on in my head, I can remind myself that I'm doing it. Hello, you're categorizing people based on a few seconds worth of data--remember to reassess with each new data set.
What brought this kind of mental sorting about? Like so many other things in my life, it was my upbringing. Latinos come in every color, and my extended family runs the gamut from blond, rosy, and blue to black, red chocolate, and black. So figuring out why my cousins look the ways they do really helped trained my eye on details. Then, the place where I grew up, with its Mexicans, Okies, Portuguese, Armenians, Hmong, Serbians, Assyrians, black folk, Vietnamese, Punjabis, Italians, and everyone else--that fed my curiosity.
At this point? It's an exercise in analysis, a way to count coup against my own skills of observation and the bugbears of my prejudices.
Being aware of color, of seeing it, vividly, and letting it be only one aspect of the whole... that, I feel, is the goal.
Colorblindness is not only unattainable, it's undesirable, in my opinion.
More on that tomorrow.