even if I'm insane

[hermeneut]

A lot of Americans (or modern Westerners in general) have trouble experiencing ecstasy, trance, anatman, ego-death, or what Maslow called "peak experiences." This is simply due to the fact that Americans are hung up on some reified sense of self, some sense of self as an autonomous substance that inherently exists. I've said before that you can

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[hermeneut]

Thank you. I often have too many thoughts mulling about in my head, and in the rest of my body too for that matter. Writing often helps quiet them down.

Sometimes being envious isn't that bad. Envious doesn't have to mean 'covetous' or 'jealous.' Envious comes from the latin "invidus", which combines the word "in-" with "videre" (to see). So, being envious can be a way of looking in at another with compassion, comradery, and cooperation. Envy can be insight. I only bring this up, because envy is exactly what first got me into my philosophical approach to psychedelia. After I first took LSD, I read Tim Leary's autobiography (Flashbacks), and I was very envious of him and all of the wonderful artists, philosophers, scientists, and mystics that he was hanging out with. I was envious of their psychedelic community. The next semester I started studying like mad -- reading everything I could about mysticism and the psychedelic experience. I don't know why, but reading and writing about it came easier to me than any other art. My envy eventually got so bad (so good!) that now I'm actually becoming a functional member of the psychedelic community. I wanted to look in on this community so much, and now I find myself inside it, encountering people like yourself.

And this is only the beginning.
This is hope.
Namaste.