(no subject)
I just remembered about livejournal. it's been a while. i'm drinking a taddy porter alex gave me for by birthday back in december--i was saving it for a special occasion.
it's valentines day and i've been a mixture of sad, and feeling really independent and confident and strong. i'd been casually dating a friend of mine, who i have a lot of respect and admiration for, but who needs really different things than i do right now. we stopped dating a month or so ago, and finally had a conversation about it last week. it feels like such a good step, but it was a bummer to have to cancel the restaurant reservation i made weeeeeks ago for tonight, since i know she would've liked it and hasn't been there before!
re-reading these journal entries from 2006 and prior, tho, has me feeling good. what else am i noticing and feeling?
that is all.
it's valentines day and i've been a mixture of sad, and feeling really independent and confident and strong. i'd been casually dating a friend of mine, who i have a lot of respect and admiration for, but who needs really different things than i do right now. we stopped dating a month or so ago, and finally had a conversation about it last week. it feels like such a good step, but it was a bummer to have to cancel the restaurant reservation i made weeeeeks ago for tonight, since i know she would've liked it and hasn't been there before!
re-reading these journal entries from 2006 and prior, tho, has me feeling good. what else am i noticing and feeling?
- i haven't changed a lot since back then. and what i mean by that is that my entries then still fairly accurately reflect how i feel about life now. is that good or bad? (ooh there i go w/ the value judgement) but does it mean i'm not growing? maybe it means that i know myself well, that my core identity is really me and has been. that as i continue to learn new things (in school and life and within myself) and grow, i am building onto, rather than shifting horizontally from, my established identity. i think it also means that i was privileged to be brought up in a home and within a city where (despite predictable family struggles after my mom's death) I was able to be myself, comfortably, with minimal expectations to alter my identity for another ideal. thanks, pops.
- nick's journal is still up. he passed away in 2009. what a strange ghost. and wonderful to have a person's self-reflection to read later.
that is all.