(no subject)
i don't even know what i want anymore.
i'm clearly not ready for a relationship & i'm not going to be anytime soon.
i tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen.
now all that's left is just for you to get so fed up you never want to look at me again.
i didn't want that to happen again... that's why i tried to end it early.
now we're both attached & seriously fucked and i really don't know what you want from me anymore besides my body.
i really can't do this. why now of all times.
the truth is you're absolutely gorgeous but i can't convince myself to be in love with you.
i was hurt so bad last time that i can't let myself be vulnerable, but as long as i don't let myself be vulnerable i can't really get invested in you.
i feel like if i get invested you win and i'm trapped. i don't want to be trapped.
i don't want the summer but i also want it so bad it hurts.
i can't take this place anymore but i also could never leave.
life is too much sometimes. too fucking much.