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[herheavenlydays]

Well, that was certainly a pleasant surprise. First thing this morning, I found my vintage Winchester 1200 shotgun, modified for home defense. That's a real American shotgun for you; perfect for almost any use with just the change of a barrel. They were even nice enough to leave me with some ammo. How thoughtful! There's really nothing like the

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[sosnarrator]

... There's a shotgun in the house now?

[herheavenlydays]

Would you like to see it, Kyon? I have time before I start peeling the potatoes.

[sosnarrator]

I think I'll be fine without it?

(What kind of housewife keeps a shotgun on hand anyway!? ... I hope this doesn't turn out the same way as Asakura did. You think she's the nice normal, cute girl on the other side of the classroom, then WHAM! She's trying to stab you with a knife...)

[herheavenlydays]

Oh, don't be silly. I know young men just love this sort of thing. Just give me one second.

[sosnarrator]

Well, uh... Okay then?

[herheavenlydays]

[She returns after a moment with a large case, and she opens it up. Just look at that shotgun, Kyon! She lifts it up and cocks it once.]

Don't you just love that sound? Of course, you aren't allowed to touch it, but isn't it just lovely?

[sosnarrator]

Right, it's a terrific sound.

(By which I mean, it absolutely terrifies me.)

[herheavenlydays]

I've just had a lovely idea. Let's take it into the backyard, shall we? Oh, and grab that empty wine bottle. I'll show you how to handle it.

[sosnarrator]

... Okay, I guess I can do that.

[Grabbing the bottle and following along, why do I even do this?]

[herheavenlydays]

Now go ahead and set that on the fence. Don't worry about the glass.

[sosnarrator]

Like this?

[herheavenlydays]

Yes, exactly. Now step away...

[She's already bringing up her gun. As soon as Kyon is just an inch out of the way, she fires! ...She leaves a nice hole in the fence, right below the wine bottle.]

There. Isn't that perfect? I couldn't shatter the bottle, of course. We'd be picking up glass shards all evening, and I have a new recipe I want you to try.

[sosnarrator]

(HOLYCRAPWhatjusthappened?!)

... Was there even a point in bringing the bottle if you weren't going to shoot it?

[herheavenlydays]

Of course there was! I had to show just how accurate this one, didn't I? It's not always about hitting the target. Sometimes, it's fun to see how close you can get without hitting something.

Oh, but dear me, I have potatoes to finish peeling. You'll be staying for supper, won't you?

[sosnarrator]

I see... Anyway, yeah, I'll be here for dinner.

[herheavenlydays]

Oh. Very good. It's...a recipe I haven't tried for a while. I'll be counting on your feedback.