Bah..
Well today I woke up to dogshit littering the floor in the living room, and of course I had the duty of picking it up.. I gagged multiple times.. Haven't fought for a few days, due to heavy restraint on my end.. I love Marcie so much, but I've noticed today how much she actually tries to start a fight.. I noticed this because, instead of blowing up when she pushes my buttons, I took a deep swallow.. I am fucking SICK of COX Communications.. Their service is bullshit, their techs are equal to that of AOL techs, incompetant, and always claiming there is no problem.. Well I don't believe it's normal for a cable modem to bounce offline every 20 minutes.. I told the tech today that the previous tech told me that if there was problems that they would have to drop a new line from the roof.. Well the stupid spick today claimed it was something completely different, reason? Because he's a lazy peice of shit that didn't feel like doing his job. This is why I promote genocide, I hate lazy wet back peices of shit that jump the border come over here and take jobs from white men, only to do them half assed and continue to fuck over the rest of us. I'm still sick, I had to walk to the store twice today, first time for a carton of cigarettes and soda.. The second time I went to get Marcie her munchies, which I really wasn't up to. She told me I could be on the computer without any drama after that.. Well I walk in the door after freezing my balls off from getting her treats, and she immediately starts in with "YOU ARENT GOING TO EAT DINNER WITH ME?!" I almost blew my lid, but instead I just took a deep swallow, and sat down at the couch with her. I finished my dinner, even though I wasn't hungry in the slightest after my cold trek to the store, and knew that she'd want to get on and post in her live journal, so I went ahead and extended the offer for her to jump on and do so.. I had no problem with it either.. Then I got on Everquest, played for about 10 minutes, then the cock sucking cable modem took a shit.. Anyone who plays Everquest knows that when your internet connection takes a shit, you have to stare at text stating "YOU HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED" for about ten minutes.. I logged back on, was punted right the fuck back off 15 minutes later.. This happened for 2 hours.. At the same time, I have Marcie bugging me to get off the computer the entire time.. As expected, once I get on the computer, the harrassment begins.. I wish I wasn't sick, or I'd be working right now. Marcie knows that I'd kill, die, and do anything for her.. Also, alot of shit is weighing down on me, my wisdom teeth have decayed, and are causing large amounts of pain.. My back is in pain once again for no apparant reason, and I haven't said a thing because I know Marcie has alot of pain in her stomach, and I don't want to make a big issue out of my petty shit.. One thing that irratates me is her need to post 3-4 times a day in her journal.. I post once a day, and sometimes once every two days or longer.. It might be a petty thing to get irratated about, but it just bugs me that she dumps more emotion into a html document then she does to me.. God I can't wait till I'm not sick anymore, she thought we didn't have anytime now.. Once I go out and get a desk job with the daily 8-5 grind she won't see shit of me.. For you that are reading this, I am not a bum, I've just ran out of choices due to the sudden loss of customers for Dark-Role-Play.com... Basically, what I am saying is that I have no problem working for an employer, but I am not willing to give up my sources of enjoyment because of that.. I can already see it in my head, I will get home from putting up with co-workers bullshit, Marcie will demand attention, and then bitch at me for getting on the computer.. I use the computer to get rid of stress, and to escape the cruelness of reality.. Marcie's pregnant, and continues to deny it.. Sad when a husband can admit it before the wife.. Life is going to be a gigantic bitch now, two kids.. Marcie just doesn't understand the hardships of parenting, nor do I.. But I have some experience with Troy, though not much.. She will see how hard it is, having to work in 8 hours, and only sleeping 1 if your lucky because the baby is sick, or collicky all night long.. Basically, I fucking loath life, but not my life with Marcie, she, my son, and my family are the only reason I don't just squeeze one off in my head.. I know I'm going to end up starting a fight after Marcie reads this, maybe not today, but tomorrow.. She might pretend she doesn't care or whatever, but she'll just hold it in, and explode the next time something doesn't go her way.. She does need to understand that I love her more then words can explain, but we're around each other waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.. And her demanding my constant attention isn't helping when we are couped up in an apartment together all day.. She was supposed to go out with her male friend Chris tonight, but she decided against it, I pushed the issue that she should go out.. We could both use the time away from each other.. What pisses me off about that now that I think about it is; when I go with my mother (Note: My MOTHER) She gets irrate, and very pissy.. She acts like I am going out with some skank pig that gropes my ass infront of her.. She needs to have more trust, and faith in me... Anyhow.. I'm going to end my rant that could go on for days.. Writing it out instead of starting a fight, I seriously deserve some sort of credit for that..