(Untitled)

[herestothebard]

Well, that went considerably worse than expected. A fine thanks I get, considering how much thought and consideration I put into that gift.

Well, that aside, let's take care of some unfinished business, shall we?.

*plays a melody on his lute and summons the Mercenary, a large sweaty guy with an axe.*

READY TO SCRAP!

Yes yes, go find the little white-

Comments

[trashcanking]

...Bard?

Ooh, so you're my new roomie. Eh, or, I'm yours, is probably more accurate.

[herestothebard]

Roommate eh? Can't say I've ever been fond of the concept.

Well, settle in I guess, not much I can do about it. I'll probably be moving into the coliseum once I can make it habitable.

[trashcanking]

Not much for the warm welcome, huh?

No complaints here, though, it's freezing out, I just want to get inside.

Coliseum...?

[herestothebard]

Sorry, I reserve all my warmth for the fairer sex.

The Coliseum's where I... work, I guess. Actually just finished up this weekend's shows not too long ago, which is why I'm back here. We run fights and shows every weekend, it's starting to draw a nice crowd and it's making me lots of money for very little work, so I can't complain.

[trashcanking]

Man, am I glad to hear that. Finally, a dude I can relate to.

Fights and shows-? Are these optional, or...?

[herestothebard]

So long as "relate to" means keeping your hands to yourself. I've known a few vikings who wanted to be a bit closer than propriety demands, and I had to remove some important organs to convince them otherwise.

You pay for tickets any weekend, we run betting as well. We hire gladiators who fight for everyone's amusement, and in between fights while the next battle is getting prepped we'll get some musicians or actors on stage to entertain the crowd. Keeps the energy high and it keeps people spending more.

[trashcanking]

I have no idea what you just said, but let me make one thing completely, totally, and unmistakably clear: My hands don't want anything to with you, or anyone else who has facial hair, or will in the future.

...And here I was starting to think this place was kinda normal. First strike.

[herestothebard]

Glad we understand each other. I've been a bit edgy since the purple-haired guy started going on about such things.

[trashcanking]

Man, tell me about it. Not that I have anything against it if it's your thing and all, just not a trend I plan on following.

[herestothebard]

Agreed.

Anyway, as I was saying you'll probably have the room to yourself soon enough, but until then I suggest not messing with my stuff. I've got a lot of magic items here and I'm not entirely sure what they all do.

Also I'm pretty sure my dirk is poisonous and it will probably kill you if you accidentally cut yourself on it.

[trashcanking]

Magic items? Do to me? You've gotta be kidding me. Lock them up, or something!

And Dude, no more of this 'taking out a few organs' thing, okay? I won't be able to sleep at night.

[herestothebard]

So long as you don't mess with me or my stuff, your organs are likely going to stay where they are.

And most of the stuff here isn't too dangerous unless it's wielded against you. My weapons and armor are pretty high quality, but there's no cursed stuff in here.

At least, I don't think there is.

[trashcanking]

...Yeah, that's reassuring.

[herestothebard]

Well, if you find me possessed by the spirit of a Trow or something, I suggest you go for the window. You're more likely to survive that way.

[trashcanking]

We're on the fourth floor!

[herestothebard]

It's not too far down. And like I said, it's more a matter of probability of survival than a guarantee. But you shouldn't have to worry, like I said I don't think any of this stuff is cursed.