Everything has happened at once.
I found someone, something. (I like him, and I like it)
In the process, however, I've both lost and found myself. I've lost a part of me that I think I'm okay with losing, but I have to look into it more. On the other hand, I've gained so much. I know myself better and I'm more comfortable with life and living in general.
I don't want to go to school anymore. I'll finish out next semester since my parents have already paid - I don't want to disrespect them - and then I'm going to travel. I'm going to take my car as far as it will let me, and then I'll go by what ever means are available. I haven't told my parents that these are my plans yet. I don't plan to tell them until the time is closer.
I haven't told many people or friends, I just don't even feel the need.
I am meant to do this. I have never felt such a strong pull in my life. All I've ever known is:
Tybee
Savannah
part of Asheville
part of Chicago
part of Pittsburgh
I've seen:
LA
Las Vegas
Sydney, the Blue Mountains, AUS
Wellington, Rotorua, and Auckland, NZ
That's not much of the world. It's not much of America. I have such a craving for a different kind of knowledge and adventure. I want to experience human survival down to the basic instincts and know what it's like to really have nothing. School and cozy comfortable college can't teach me what I want to know, feel, and learn.
Only I can teach myself these things.
I'm proud of myself for finally putting this down on something. But then again the internet is not really a tangible place. This entry could be lost forever tomorrow, and my words and thoughts gone by then.
I want to go back. Where back is, I'm not entirely sure, but it's what I want to figure out.
Sure I love the internet and technology. I love my car and my home and my comfy things. TV and movies...
But they're all completely and entirely useless and obsolete to what I want to do.
And call me crazy, but something is going to happen in 2012. The world isn't going to end - fuck that. But the magnetic and gravitational poles, north and south, of earth are scientifically proven to change on the 21st of December that year.
NASA even said so ... now whether you believe NASA or not is your choice. I think they're pretty reliable. But what you think that will do to the Earth is your own opinion.
My opinion:
The Earth's waters and ocean are controlled by the gravitational pull of the moon. When the poles reverse in 2012, how will the moon continue to affect Earth's waters? Probably floods, if our gravitational poles are reversing entirely - which is what NASA says, which is what the Mayans said, which is what the Egyptians said, which is what Sybil said, which is what Nostre Damus said, which is what the Native Americans said, and many others.
Enough of my rant. There it is.
I am going to experience life to every extent and I don't intend on looking back. I believe the he I mentioned earlier is coming too, but no plans - live by a whim.
I realize this means I may never see a lot of people again if my journey sweeps me away to new and exciting places that I don't wish to return from. This next semester and coming summer may very well be the last I see of anyone from my past, including my family. But I'm ready. I'm ready to leave everything behind and to just be.
Not to sound vain or even odd - but I've always felt that I was meant for something else. I was never meant to obey the flow of society and follow the steps to "success". Modern society limits us to high school, college, then career. We are expected to follow this path and anyone who doesn't follow this path without a good excuse is generally looked down on or at least classified in a lowlier category than those attending college or have attended college. It's sick and stupid that everyone is expected to live their life the same, to do something they may not want to do.
So here I am, breaking the cycle. I'm not meant for this cyclical existence. And there's nothing wrong with those who are comfortable with this life or that life. Everyone's meant for their own thing, their own path.
I've found mine.
And think I've found a companion or two who share my thoughts, but that's another story.
I have never been happier. To know what I want to do - but what I want to do is everything and nothing. I will make no plans and just go where the wind takes me. I'll meet all sorts of people and just be myself. Sure I'll bring my computer and phone at first, but I have a feeling they'll either be destroyed or I'll grow to hate them so much I'll sell them or toss them. I'm sure that'll eventually happen with the car, too..
I've figured a part of life out, and I'm out to find the rest.
(I'm just having trouble being patient here at school, and playing out the part for my parents' sake. But my love for them outweighs the time, and I will make them happy and hopefully proud if it's the last thing I do for them.)
Sorry this is so long. Maybe I've made an impression on someone, though.
In the process, however, I've both lost and found myself. I've lost a part of me that I think I'm okay with losing, but I have to look into it more. On the other hand, I've gained so much. I know myself better and I'm more comfortable with life and living in general.
I don't want to go to school anymore. I'll finish out next semester since my parents have already paid - I don't want to disrespect them - and then I'm going to travel. I'm going to take my car as far as it will let me, and then I'll go by what ever means are available. I haven't told my parents that these are my plans yet. I don't plan to tell them until the time is closer.
I haven't told many people or friends, I just don't even feel the need.
I am meant to do this. I have never felt such a strong pull in my life. All I've ever known is:
Tybee
Savannah
part of Asheville
part of Chicago
part of Pittsburgh
I've seen:
LA
Las Vegas
Sydney, the Blue Mountains, AUS
Wellington, Rotorua, and Auckland, NZ
That's not much of the world. It's not much of America. I have such a craving for a different kind of knowledge and adventure. I want to experience human survival down to the basic instincts and know what it's like to really have nothing. School and cozy comfortable college can't teach me what I want to know, feel, and learn.
Only I can teach myself these things.
I'm proud of myself for finally putting this down on something. But then again the internet is not really a tangible place. This entry could be lost forever tomorrow, and my words and thoughts gone by then.
I want to go back. Where back is, I'm not entirely sure, but it's what I want to figure out.
Sure I love the internet and technology. I love my car and my home and my comfy things. TV and movies...
But they're all completely and entirely useless and obsolete to what I want to do.
And call me crazy, but something is going to happen in 2012. The world isn't going to end - fuck that. But the magnetic and gravitational poles, north and south, of earth are scientifically proven to change on the 21st of December that year.
NASA even said so ... now whether you believe NASA or not is your choice. I think they're pretty reliable. But what you think that will do to the Earth is your own opinion.
My opinion:
The Earth's waters and ocean are controlled by the gravitational pull of the moon. When the poles reverse in 2012, how will the moon continue to affect Earth's waters? Probably floods, if our gravitational poles are reversing entirely - which is what NASA says, which is what the Mayans said, which is what the Egyptians said, which is what Sybil said, which is what Nostre Damus said, which is what the Native Americans said, and many others.
Enough of my rant. There it is.
I am going to experience life to every extent and I don't intend on looking back. I believe the he I mentioned earlier is coming too, but no plans - live by a whim.
I realize this means I may never see a lot of people again if my journey sweeps me away to new and exciting places that I don't wish to return from. This next semester and coming summer may very well be the last I see of anyone from my past, including my family. But I'm ready. I'm ready to leave everything behind and to just be.
Not to sound vain or even odd - but I've always felt that I was meant for something else. I was never meant to obey the flow of society and follow the steps to "success". Modern society limits us to high school, college, then career. We are expected to follow this path and anyone who doesn't follow this path without a good excuse is generally looked down on or at least classified in a lowlier category than those attending college or have attended college. It's sick and stupid that everyone is expected to live their life the same, to do something they may not want to do.
So here I am, breaking the cycle. I'm not meant for this cyclical existence. And there's nothing wrong with those who are comfortable with this life or that life. Everyone's meant for their own thing, their own path.
I've found mine.
And think I've found a companion or two who share my thoughts, but that's another story.
I have never been happier. To know what I want to do - but what I want to do is everything and nothing. I will make no plans and just go where the wind takes me. I'll meet all sorts of people and just be myself. Sure I'll bring my computer and phone at first, but I have a feeling they'll either be destroyed or I'll grow to hate them so much I'll sell them or toss them. I'm sure that'll eventually happen with the car, too..
I've figured a part of life out, and I'm out to find the rest.
(I'm just having trouble being patient here at school, and playing out the part for my parents' sake. But my love for them outweighs the time, and I will make them happy and hopefully proud if it's the last thing I do for them.)
Sorry this is so long. Maybe I've made an impression on someone, though.