im updating a lot lately!

[herenya_2have_u]

so we got outta school early today, like 5 minutes. the roads were soOo bad tho. brendan drove me home =] and then i took a nap!! it was great. i thought i was gunna have to go to track, but "all after school activities" were cancelled! therefore, no track = go home and nap! haha its awesome

Comments

[door2perception]

why DO we want what we cant have, erika? that's the eternal question. due to recent developments, i, too, have been forced to ponder this. my answer: we just dont work that way. when we cant have something that we want, the incentive and the emotions surrounding it are intensified. our brains are able to realize that we cant and wont have something, but, alas, our hearts are not. it's our gift and our curse. and youre not ridiculous for not "just getting over it". no one can just accept something like that without the proper pain, strife, and longing required to get over it. another thing ive realized is that you HAVE to cut your losses. meaning, if you surely cannot get something, if it just isnt there, then you have to remove it from your life. once you do that, it can finally leave your mind. etc etc etc. <3

[adora_flores]

and life would be so dull if we got what (or, in this case, WHO) we wanted all the time.

[herenya_2have_u]

i suppose your right. <3

[door2perception]

it's a tough truth, but it's a truth all the same

[herenya_2have_u]

but thats the thing...i still want it, therefore i dont wanna "remove" it. is it bad that i'd rather be as close as i can instead of tryin to get over it? i hope not, cuz thats definitely how i feel. idk, its too confusing.. but thanks for your wonderful insight charlie. <33

[door2perception]

granted, it's very very hard to just remove something. if you can be satisfied being as close as you can get, go for it. but if it's a source of constant pain and frustration (like in my situation), then you would be better for it if you just kinda slowly walked away.

[herenya_2have_u]

see, now this is where it gets confusing. because, it is a source of frustration (not necessarily pain tho), but i still wanna keep trying.. even tho i'd proly get hurt less if i just stopped now, so wat do i do?

[door2perception]

i know you want to keep trying, as i did. but eventually, you have to realize that the effort is fruitless and is only going to bring more pain, as i did. it ultimately leads to a happier feeling, even if you feel like you lost something. the thing is, how can you lose something that wasnt there in the first place? another key realization is that sometimes something just ISN'T there. no matter how much you want it to be (which is why you would want to keep trying, etc). no amount of "if i can be more sexy, smart, interesting, etc, then theyre going to like me" is going to work. if this applies to your situation, then cut your losses, my dear.

[herenya_2have_u]

i could continue this conversation forever.. but frankly, im tired LoL

thanks for all ur help, love <3