i love the person who wrote this
things don't have to have weight to tie you down
there are unlimited amounts of trials to overcome
but how can it be possible when I have a limited supply
of me
everytime i fail i don't know if i've tried hard enough
it's not that i keep fucking up, or that i'm not superior
it's just that some things are impossible
everything is just impossible
it's depressing when you can't relate to anyone
but it's not their fault though
they can try, and they can try to understand
and maybe they can
but i can't feel that.
the problem with hating everyone
is that even if you meet someone like you
you hate them, and they hate you
and the problem with hating everything
it just makes me feel so dirty
sometimes everything just feels so fucking dirty
but i accept it
the strange dark level of entropy
how everything is falling apart in front of all of us
we don't have time to look at the beauty in the world anymore
not when we're so bent on destroying it, just to save it
i think my problem is i enjoy negativity
nothing excites me anymore
it's probably just a phase
and i'll probably grow out of it
but it'll never grow out of me
i'll go through a good phase
and just not notice it
because noone really notices the bad among the good
i don't really want to be noticed anyway
you know, i never used to be like this
i used to have faith
i used to believe
and it's not that i've been broken
i've just been fucked
i feel like a whore
i asked for it, didn't i
maybe taking the blame will make me feel better
but all it really does is make me accept who i am
and it makes me who i am at the same time
what happened, where did everybody go?
the only interesting people i meet,
are people just like me
whose only reason to live
is in fear of death
i don't care what this says to anyone
noone is really worried
they just don't want to know someone like me
they just don't want to deal with someone like me
i don't blame them, they are exactly the same
i wouldn't want to deal with someone like me
i'm impossible - i have no solutions because i don't believe
it's only about faith anyways
if you believe, you can do anything
if you don't, well, look at me
writing away in this useless journal
to a few people who may read this, and to a few that may not
how many of you actually understand?
can you help me?
i don't even know if i want help anymore
this is so much fun to not care about anything
no person, no money, no possession, no drugs
nothing helps me out of this anymore
and to you, i know i'm hopeless
just yesterday and the day before i seemed so good
i was doing so well, wasn't i?
now i'm back to where i was, and it depresses you
i don't know if this is an endless cycle or not
i don't know if i feel bad keeping you here,
when i'm not really going anywhere
it's up to you, but just to let you know
i don't really know what i'm saying
i don't really know if there is anything to understand
and i don't really know what i am
i just feel dirty.
can you help me?
what if you can?
i'll attach myself to you.
noone should really want to deal with me
in all honesty i wouldn't either
i'm attached to myself in this narcissistic way
and i know it can't be healthy
but noone else would ever want to be part of me
i don't want to be a part of me
what the fuck are you talking about?
what the fuck are you complaining about?
why don't you just shut up and go back to caring about everything
you fucking freak, why don't you go back to fucking crushing everything with compassion
you over-sensitive idiot, you are only hurting yourself with your own words
you are pushing everyone away, why can't you see that?
why can't you see me...
i'm not that bad
but when i lose faith, and faith loses me
i am that bad
and noone notices the bad among the good
this is a downward spiral
can't you see?
now that i've crossed each checkpoint
there is no going back
there is no going back
i suppose i should accept everything as it is
or maybe you can help me out?
if you aren't afraid that i'll pull you in
you just have to make me believe that there is more
trick me, i don't care
just get me out of here
just get me out of here
i just want to laugh again
even my solution is terrible
lies and fakes
i just want to be shown that there is more
i just want to be shown that you aren't fake
i have no ending to these ramblings of someone
who is only going to get in trouble for expressing himself
just give me a reason to have faith
fuck the rest of what i've said.
there are unlimited amounts of trials to overcome
but how can it be possible when I have a limited supply
of me
everytime i fail i don't know if i've tried hard enough
it's not that i keep fucking up, or that i'm not superior
it's just that some things are impossible
everything is just impossible
it's depressing when you can't relate to anyone
but it's not their fault though
they can try, and they can try to understand
and maybe they can
but i can't feel that.
the problem with hating everyone
is that even if you meet someone like you
you hate them, and they hate you
and the problem with hating everything
it just makes me feel so dirty
sometimes everything just feels so fucking dirty
but i accept it
the strange dark level of entropy
how everything is falling apart in front of all of us
we don't have time to look at the beauty in the world anymore
not when we're so bent on destroying it, just to save it
i think my problem is i enjoy negativity
nothing excites me anymore
it's probably just a phase
and i'll probably grow out of it
but it'll never grow out of me
i'll go through a good phase
and just not notice it
because noone really notices the bad among the good
i don't really want to be noticed anyway
you know, i never used to be like this
i used to have faith
i used to believe
and it's not that i've been broken
i've just been fucked
i feel like a whore
i asked for it, didn't i
maybe taking the blame will make me feel better
but all it really does is make me accept who i am
and it makes me who i am at the same time
what happened, where did everybody go?
the only interesting people i meet,
are people just like me
whose only reason to live
is in fear of death
i don't care what this says to anyone
noone is really worried
they just don't want to know someone like me
they just don't want to deal with someone like me
i don't blame them, they are exactly the same
i wouldn't want to deal with someone like me
i'm impossible - i have no solutions because i don't believe
it's only about faith anyways
if you believe, you can do anything
if you don't, well, look at me
writing away in this useless journal
to a few people who may read this, and to a few that may not
how many of you actually understand?
can you help me?
i don't even know if i want help anymore
this is so much fun to not care about anything
no person, no money, no possession, no drugs
nothing helps me out of this anymore
and to you, i know i'm hopeless
just yesterday and the day before i seemed so good
i was doing so well, wasn't i?
now i'm back to where i was, and it depresses you
i don't know if this is an endless cycle or not
i don't know if i feel bad keeping you here,
when i'm not really going anywhere
it's up to you, but just to let you know
i don't really know what i'm saying
i don't really know if there is anything to understand
and i don't really know what i am
i just feel dirty.
can you help me?
what if you can?
i'll attach myself to you.
noone should really want to deal with me
in all honesty i wouldn't either
i'm attached to myself in this narcissistic way
and i know it can't be healthy
but noone else would ever want to be part of me
i don't want to be a part of me
what the fuck are you talking about?
what the fuck are you complaining about?
why don't you just shut up and go back to caring about everything
you fucking freak, why don't you go back to fucking crushing everything with compassion
you over-sensitive idiot, you are only hurting yourself with your own words
you are pushing everyone away, why can't you see that?
why can't you see me...
i'm not that bad
but when i lose faith, and faith loses me
i am that bad
and noone notices the bad among the good
this is a downward spiral
can't you see?
now that i've crossed each checkpoint
there is no going back
there is no going back
i suppose i should accept everything as it is
or maybe you can help me out?
if you aren't afraid that i'll pull you in
you just have to make me believe that there is more
trick me, i don't care
just get me out of here
just get me out of here
i just want to laugh again
even my solution is terrible
lies and fakes
i just want to be shown that there is more
i just want to be shown that you aren't fake
i have no ending to these ramblings of someone
who is only going to get in trouble for expressing himself
just give me a reason to have faith
fuck the rest of what i've said.