imminent family crisis

[hereiam07]

I hate this. I don't want to depend on them. I'm tired of always having to rely on them, answer to them, oblige them. I don't want to have to answer to anyone but myself. I know that's immature to want to cast out your parents when they really just want the best for you, but I'm so sick of hearing what they think is the best for me. All that has ever come out of it has caused me to lie to become the person they want me to be because showing them who I really am would devastate them. I hate it. The irrational side of me thinks how liberating it would be to just pack up my things and disappear. I would sustain myself, I would work hard for me and Neda, I would do what I wanted to do. There would be no pressure imposed by other people who have my life figured out for me. No pressure to do what they want me to do.

I wish I could just leave this. I wish I had courage. I wish I was in the driver's seat of my own damn life.