what'll I do
My upstairs neighbors and friends are all outside on their balcony, which is directly above our porch, which is directly outside my window, and I can hear eveeerrryyyythiiiing. One girl laughs like she is really drunk, like some sort of hyena laugh. And one guy has this really evil bellow. I want to punch them all because I'm sleepy. It took me some time, but I think I've reached that phase where I miss you. I genuinely miss you, and I can't do anything about it. I'm frustrated, and school is stressing me out. And I don't know what's going to happen with me next semester. My relationship with my dad is a work in progress, my relationship with my mom is a lie in progress, I'm so uninvolved with my little brother's life...he's growing up without me, I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life, I wish I knew how to tell my family whatever it is I decide to do, I wish the people upstairs would shut the hell up. All my friends are going through rough times, lots of break ups and rejection, and they all talk to me about it because they don't feel comfortable enough with anyone else. I've given Michael more than enough reason to hate me, and things between us are just not the same. We still talk, though a little less regularly, but it sure does feel shitty knowing that I've eternally damaged my relationship with my best friend. I hope our Christmas trip to New York will help put a patch on things. I hope. I need to take a time out; I think the semester is taking a toll on me. My heart can't open up properly with all of this.