Are you aware of what you make me feel?
Its the unheard of 2nd post this day.
Im feeling so alone right now, and Im pretty sure I am not. Its just that feeling taking over me. I want to be kissed on the forehead and told everything will be ok. All I am hearing right now is everything wont be ok, and Fuck you who is saying that? Oh wait thats me. God, I just want to lie down with you and be held because right now whatever is going on is killing me. How uncomfortable. I also feel like I have nothing to latch onto. I cant even believe in myself, or turn to myself for comfort. How pathetic. So im laying here at night, its 11 o'clock, that turns to 12, to 1, then 2, 3, 4, am I asleep yet? Im lying here stuck with thoughts that I dont want, in a body I dont want, in a bed I dont want, in a house I dont want, in a neighborhood I dont want, in a city I dont want, in a state I dont want, in a country I dont want, in a world I dont want, in a galaxy I dont want, in a universe that I dont care about. Do you know what I do want, and what I do care about? Faith in something and mutual love for someone. Gosh how pessimistic. Welcome to the way I am.
So I park my car down by the cathedral
Where the floodlights point up at the steeples
Choir practice is filling up with people
I hear the sound escaping as an echo
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle
When the voices blend they sound like angels
I hope there’s some room still in the middle
But when lift my voice up now to reach them
The range is too high way up in heaven
So I hold my tongue, forget the song
Tie my shoes, start walking off
And try to just keep moving on
With my broken heart and my absent god
And I have no faith but it’s all I want
To be loved
And believe
In my soul, in my soul