it's a funny thing...
I came on here for the purpose of deleting my LJ today. No reason in particular other than just letting go of the past and things that's happened in the past. But I started reading posts from a time I was truly happy and thought "I can't delete this, not just yet, not until my present self mirrors that hopeful spirit."
Despite what has gone on, this lil LJ serves as a reminder to me of where I was when I started this project... from where I've come, what I've gone through, and also seeing that some things never change.
I started out as a pretty happy kid... My earlier posts seem pretty peppy.... with the occasional PMS moments... then I met someone who thinks all women are crazy, and this year, he proceeds to lump me in with them because I called him out on his martyrdom... (what's the common denominator here?)... and then I see myself go through the trial stages of dating someone with a lot of ups and downs and how I don't deal very well with issues. I still don't because I don't know how to phrase my discussions... so I end up being quiet until I can phrase them... In the Interim of being quiet, I usually shut down, which isn't good either. I wish I knew how the text book perfect woman is supposed to handle things that make her frustrated. I'm sure the text book response from a 1950s man would be "shut up and deal with it." :)
And I miss a friend I used to hang out with a lot... but life has gotten in the way, I guess.
Anywho, so I guess I won't delete just yet... I still have hope that things will come together.
I'll keep this lil journal as a reminder that smiles can be easy to come by if you look at the simple things in life and don't expect the big picture to be the end of a Disney movie. :)
Despite what has gone on, this lil LJ serves as a reminder to me of where I was when I started this project... from where I've come, what I've gone through, and also seeing that some things never change.
I started out as a pretty happy kid... My earlier posts seem pretty peppy.... with the occasional PMS moments... then I met someone who thinks all women are crazy, and this year, he proceeds to lump me in with them because I called him out on his martyrdom... (what's the common denominator here?)... and then I see myself go through the trial stages of dating someone with a lot of ups and downs and how I don't deal very well with issues. I still don't because I don't know how to phrase my discussions... so I end up being quiet until I can phrase them... In the Interim of being quiet, I usually shut down, which isn't good either. I wish I knew how the text book perfect woman is supposed to handle things that make her frustrated. I'm sure the text book response from a 1950s man would be "shut up and deal with it." :)
And I miss a friend I used to hang out with a lot... but life has gotten in the way, I guess.
Anywho, so I guess I won't delete just yet... I still have hope that things will come together.
I'll keep this lil journal as a reminder that smiles can be easy to come by if you look at the simple things in life and don't expect the big picture to be the end of a Disney movie. :)