(no subject)
Called off work today. IT scrambled my brains like eggs. I did walk 7 miles and scoured the internet for a hanging plant stand for my crystal pyramid + glass dropper bottles for tinctures. Tried calling the Wine and Spirits store multiple times for vodka. IT's a Brave New World. Read Demian some and had to put it down because I was so taut and feely for the kid. Played handpan for a bit. Pull-ups x 4, stronger. Awareness of my thumb to middle finger. My feet pressing down into the earth and the earth back into my feet. A less poetic day than others; my eyes are strained from habitually looking at screens.
It's a day where I feel alone. Not engaging much with others, but wanting to and missing my one friend Jamey very sorely. It is a damp, cool day; that usually doesn't bother me. The earth is popping and producing flowers, spores and fruits after all the rains. I have eaten my usually prescribed meals of nutrition + some impulse chews post-nap x 2.
I am enjoying leisurely learning about TCM sciences. It is involved and interconnected in a way like a&p was for nursing. It is a nice way to think, one that I missed. I am engaging with reality through a type of meditation, at least it is the hope. I have come down considerably from yesterday. I don't think coffee really suits me. Foods are growing old on me; I'll be steaming broccoli tonight with nutritional yeast and oils as consolation. Part of me really wants to eat pastries and drink healthy juices; it is good that everything is closed. Everything is based on energy so I am choosing wellness, happiness, wholeness and health. I reminisce travels and also look forward, but simply try to be in each moment without expectation and receive in awe what is meant. Receiving organic interactions without fear, filled with confidence and delight. Noticing that I sometimes have trepidation around these interactions but recognize it is because I am not listening to my highest good. I am processing a lot these days: resigning from my job as this lightens, creating a poetry collection for publication, leaving this apartment, where to store everything as I travel abroad, handpan busking... It is all beautiful and it will all unfold and fall into place as it should, but right now I am feeling a bit blah.
It's a day where I feel alone. Not engaging much with others, but wanting to and missing my one friend Jamey very sorely. It is a damp, cool day; that usually doesn't bother me. The earth is popping and producing flowers, spores and fruits after all the rains. I have eaten my usually prescribed meals of nutrition + some impulse chews post-nap x 2.
I am enjoying leisurely learning about TCM sciences. It is involved and interconnected in a way like a&p was for nursing. It is a nice way to think, one that I missed. I am engaging with reality through a type of meditation, at least it is the hope. I have come down considerably from yesterday. I don't think coffee really suits me. Foods are growing old on me; I'll be steaming broccoli tonight with nutritional yeast and oils as consolation. Part of me really wants to eat pastries and drink healthy juices; it is good that everything is closed. Everything is based on energy so I am choosing wellness, happiness, wholeness and health. I reminisce travels and also look forward, but simply try to be in each moment without expectation and receive in awe what is meant. Receiving organic interactions without fear, filled with confidence and delight. Noticing that I sometimes have trepidation around these interactions but recognize it is because I am not listening to my highest good. I am processing a lot these days: resigning from my job as this lightens, creating a poetry collection for publication, leaving this apartment, where to store everything as I travel abroad, handpan busking... It is all beautiful and it will all unfold and fall into place as it should, but right now I am feeling a bit blah.