A few letters
Dear Fall,
Thank you for the much needed rain and general beautifulness, but if you're going to come breezing in like this, could you also breeze me in a bunch of allergy medication and an actual coat?
Dear Heater,
I know it's been a while and I'm sorry you've been neglected until I broke down just now, but could you please maybe consider blowing some WARM air as 66 degrees is a bit chilly for a 5 month old baby? Thanks.
Dear Charlie,
I'm sorry you've been diagnosed with "colic" (that illusive bullshit disease they use to label any and all tummy-upset related spontaneous crying and screaming), and I truly believe the tummy drops the Doctor gave you ARE helping, but could you PLEASE sleep more than 2 hours EVER? Please? Just one night, just 4 or 5 hours maybe? Please? I love you intensely, but waking up with you every 90 minutes Every. Single. Night. is wearing me down (I think you actually slept better at 6 weeks than you are now), and I'd REALLY like for us to stop sleeping on the couch downstairs - we have a bed, upstairs, in a room that can be filled with heat from an efficient little space heater, that we could both enjoy, if ONLY you'd sleep and stop waking up your sister (and me, obviously). Also, if you could spontaneously learn English and TELL me what you need, I could better help you, thanks.
Love,
-Me
Thank you for the much needed rain and general beautifulness, but if you're going to come breezing in like this, could you also breeze me in a bunch of allergy medication and an actual coat?
Dear Heater,
I know it's been a while and I'm sorry you've been neglected until I broke down just now, but could you please maybe consider blowing some WARM air as 66 degrees is a bit chilly for a 5 month old baby? Thanks.
Dear Charlie,
I'm sorry you've been diagnosed with "colic" (that illusive bullshit disease they use to label any and all tummy-upset related spontaneous crying and screaming), and I truly believe the tummy drops the Doctor gave you ARE helping, but could you PLEASE sleep more than 2 hours EVER? Please? Just one night, just 4 or 5 hours maybe? Please? I love you intensely, but waking up with you every 90 minutes Every. Single. Night. is wearing me down (I think you actually slept better at 6 weeks than you are now), and I'd REALLY like for us to stop sleeping on the couch downstairs - we have a bed, upstairs, in a room that can be filled with heat from an efficient little space heater, that we could both enjoy, if ONLY you'd sleep and stop waking up your sister (and me, obviously). Also, if you could spontaneously learn English and TELL me what you need, I could better help you, thanks.
Love,
-Me