De-Sexing
For the next four days, the Man and I get to run off to the promised land, oh Canada, where the pot and health care runs freely, while the gays enjoy the bonds of holy-matrimony. I love our maple syrup dipped brothers up north. Dan Savage once observed that the USA got all the religious fundies, Australia got the criminals and Canada got the French. Damn it. Those lucky canucks. Sorry I'm digressing. [FOCUSING]
What this boils down to is while we are gone, my mom will be sleeping in our bedroom. I've had to "clean up" our bedroom, ie hide all the ... ummm ... intimacy aids. While I was doing this all I can think is 'THIS is so STUPID.' Why do I have act like I some sort sexless drone who only sleeps in her bed?! It's not like I have the shit littered all over the place in plain sight like a graceless perv.
The obvious answer is the skull spliting mortification I'd feel if she were to stumble across my cache. If I didn't hide the stuff like Jews in Nazi-occupied Netherlands, I'd spend my mini-vacation fretting about just that. The only reasonable, sanity sparing solution is enabling everyone involved to pretend no one ever has sex.
Maybe I should get a safe. Sigh.
What this boils down to is while we are gone, my mom will be sleeping in our bedroom. I've had to "clean up" our bedroom, ie hide all the ... ummm ... intimacy aids. While I was doing this all I can think is 'THIS is so STUPID.' Why do I have act like I some sort sexless drone who only sleeps in her bed?! It's not like I have the shit littered all over the place in plain sight like a graceless perv.
The obvious answer is the skull spliting mortification I'd feel if she were to stumble across my cache. If I didn't hide the stuff like Jews in Nazi-occupied Netherlands, I'd spend my mini-vacation fretting about just that. The only reasonable, sanity sparing solution is enabling everyone involved to pretend no one ever has sex.
Maybe I should get a safe. Sigh.