My newfound greatest fear is helplessness.
The last of my wine is about to disappear into the thoughts that crowd and pulse at my temples. Just as well. That is what it's there for.
It's on rare occasion that I find myself crying nowadays. Enough of the Same Olde Shit, suddenly rising up and breathing all of it's dry, pungent air in my face with one great blow... it only takes a minute, stupid fuckin' detail on track of Same Olde Shit to throw me off balance. So I locked myself in the employee's bathroom and cried in the dark. The short, quiet and hard cry that comes when World reminds you, gently, how much you really do hurt. Only when I cry these days, Sadness starts off on such an occasion and then opens it's arms to envelop everything unresolved, everything that has nothing else to do but remain so.
Then I found myself walking, walking... wanting, with every inch of my chilled body, to sink to the ground and remain hunched there while I let It sweep through me and pass away. But I stay rigid and keep walking.
Now I'm going to take a hot shower and ease the tension in my head and chest. Let the heat and damp seep into my skin, reaching my bones and restoring my resolve.
It's on rare occasion that I find myself crying nowadays. Enough of the Same Olde Shit, suddenly rising up and breathing all of it's dry, pungent air in my face with one great blow... it only takes a minute, stupid fuckin' detail on track of Same Olde Shit to throw me off balance. So I locked myself in the employee's bathroom and cried in the dark. The short, quiet and hard cry that comes when World reminds you, gently, how much you really do hurt. Only when I cry these days, Sadness starts off on such an occasion and then opens it's arms to envelop everything unresolved, everything that has nothing else to do but remain so.
Then I found myself walking, walking... wanting, with every inch of my chilled body, to sink to the ground and remain hunched there while I let It sweep through me and pass away. But I stay rigid and keep walking.
Now I'm going to take a hot shower and ease the tension in my head and chest. Let the heat and damp seep into my skin, reaching my bones and restoring my resolve.