(no subject)
my life is unraveling a little bit. i can't wait for january--and that is because in january i can start anew with my life, and one of the ways i will do that is by purchasing a moleskine planner in which i can distinctly list my to-dos and my to-don'ts for the year. at the beginning of this semester, i made a special trip to the bookstore to purchase a planner--that is, to purchase an organized life--and you can imagine my dismay when i found there were no planners corresponding to the schoolyear (that is, from august to july, rather than from january to december), and so i went home empty-handed and crestfallen. i think that is the definitive moment when i really gave up on any chance of success this semester.
right now i feel like the contents of my mind could be visually represented by frayed bits of thread and mismatched buttons and mysterious powders and lipstick caps and pennies.
when i was a little girl i always dreamt of being sent off to boarding school, because i was enamoured with the idea of having a precise routine and rules imposed on me by sweet-natured nuns; i daydreamed of regimented meals and strict bedtimes and precise hem lengths for jumpers. there is something comforting and quietly pleasant about daily habits and routines. and i am terribly inept at imposing such guidelines for myself.
in conclusion, i am a complete mess!